* Breaking The Habit.... Hopefully.

edited 29 July 2014 at 11:16PM in Debt free diaries
145 replies 9.4K views
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  • stewbystewby Forumite
    1.2K Posts
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    So.... credit card has taken a tiny bit of a hammering but... I still managed to finish the month £100 down.
    :o

    OH's xmas present has been bought (which is why the credit card hasn't dropped as much as it should have). Every year I buy him a ticket to our festival as it is something he never budgets for but yet always wants to go to.
    :undecided

    So... I have now paid £1000 off my debt so far. It is not going well but we will just have to do our best. April pay-off is now looking a bit iffy (mainly due to the garage bill... £623 is a massive amount which means it isn't going to the credit card). However, I do need a car so I suppose it is only fair. I suppose.
    :(

    Have now packed, all ready for the holiday on Monday. I feel guilty going on holiday whilst I have debt but it is a girly holiday and my mum would never get to go without me (I am the sensible one, apparently).
    :eek:

    OH and I have discussed New Year Resolutions and we have a few on the go:

    * Sunday is going to be our housey day. We are going to clean the house from top to bottom and have a roast dinner (if I am working then it will be after shift is over).
    :)

    * One evening a week (will vary depending on work) will be dedicated to board games. TV will remain off, laptops will be pushed to one side and we will spend the evening annoying each other by winning at monopoly.
    :p

    * We are going to go away in the bongo more. We will attempt to do this once every two months (due to work) but are hoping to make it a monthly thing. We live in a beautiful country and we should explore it more.
    :D

    * Once a month, we are going to have a take-away. Even if it means going to two different places. We are restricting ourselves which isn't really any good for us.
    Every couple of months, we will have a meal out. A date night so to speak. Our relationship is under strain and we need to nurture and care for it (our love is not in question, it is external stuff affecting both of us).

    :love:

    So... we are ready to face new year together, stronger than ever.
    :o

    Will be back in the next post with my December plan... better get that sorted before I go away.
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
  • stewbystewby Forumite
    1.2K Posts
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    So the December challenge has arrived and it is looking interesting. A bit gutted as I did a good deed yesterday but that is November so too soon. (Nothing major, saw my elderly neighbour trying to walk home from the shops in horrible weather so gave him a lift).
    :o

    Budgets (out of £400):
    Food = £60 (OH also pays £60 to give us a budget of £120).
    Pots = £131 (xmas pot, bongo pot, holiday pot).
    Mum = £70 (yep, still paying my mum off).
    Fun = £39 (yep, that specific).
    Dad = £100 (to pay towards either credit card or car bill).

    :)

    Fifteen Spend-free Days:
    Six of these will be our holiday away (discounting the day of leaving and the day of arriving home). I have a good feeling about this.

    :D

    Donate £5 To Food Bank:
    Yep, no problems... I think I might go down the route of xmassy stuff again. Maybe xmas coins but maybe something a bit pudding-y. I am not entirely sure what the plan will be.

    :o

    Outings:
    Not sure on any outings. Have cancelled works night out as I can no longer afford it due to the car bill. Am now working it instead. A bit disappointed but it was £45 that needed to be better spent.

    :(

    Five achivements:
    In progress... I can't think of any apart from getting engaged but that's not really any achievement. It has been planned for about two years. This is going to be difficult.

    :undecided

    Can't wait to get home on the 8th and start this month off in style.
    :D
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
  • in_need_of_directionin_need_of_direction Forumite
    6.9K Posts
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Forumite
    Enjoy the break.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83:eek: today £39999. 1£29592
    Emergency fund £5.5/5.5k & £200/200 cash.:j
    Weight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 12st 2lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.:T
    24% through my 1% mortgage challenge. 1% = £387
  • liltdiddyliltliltdiddylilt Forumite
    4.1K Posts
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Forumite
    Enjoy your time away lovely :)
    Virtual Pot #25 £0.00/£350.00
    A black belt only covers 2 inches of your a$$ - You have to cover the rest yourself - Royce Gracie
  • stewbystewby Forumite
    1.2K Posts
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    So... it's been a bit of a reflective evening.
    :undecided

    It's quite scary reading everyone's achievements which are massive things like battling evil (cancer) and destroying their debt when I haven't really done anything that amazing.

    I have been reading travelling books and it really hits home how little I have done in my life. We have gone down two very different routes and I am still very much a grass greener person (as much as I said I wouldn't be).
    :(

    Well... I have always loved the idea of new year, new me so the plan is to start my debt journey again on 1st January 2015.
    :)
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
  • edited 31 December 2014 at 12:52AM
    stewbystewby Forumite
    1.2K Posts
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    edited 31 December 2014 at 12:52AM
    Well, here goes nothing...

    1) Eliminate credit card debt, hopefully by the end of April (currently £3360.92).

    2) Use pots effectively (£50 each month in bongo pot, £50 each month in holiday fund, £1 a day in xmas pot).

    3) Lose weight... ideally 6lbs a month which would make my total of 72lbs by the end of the year (preferably sooner).

    4) Start saving for our wedding. (Hopefully OH and I can both contribute £250 each).

    Going to stick with 4 goals in the hope they are easier to achieve.
    :D

    Was going to include my old one of getting a nice picture with my OH but there is no guarentee that losing all my extra pounds are actually going to stop me hating my picture being taken. Hence why it is no longer included.
    :o

    Hugs to everyone... heres to another year of actual success and a bit more positivity this time.
    :)
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
  • stewbystewby Forumite
    1.2K Posts
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    So.... it's the new year and time to cast off the old and ring in the new, as they say... apparently.
    However, I don't imagine they had credit card debt so we maybe won't get rid of the old just yet.
    ;)

    The January challenge has arrived and I am sitting here in bed trying to figure out a plan. Some of it is extremely tricky but other bits will be good fun. So here goes nothing...

    1) Yep... 1st - 31st. No problem.
    :)

    2) Budgets... Woooooo (see below).
    :doh:

    3) Doesn't quite work with me as wage varies a lot (depending on nights, weekends, etc) so have to wait until all bills have gone before credit card gets paid.
    :embarasse

    4) Lunches are easy. I will try to do this (only work three days a week so it can't be that hard).
    ;)

    5) Food bank!!! This has become a monthly tradition and I have grown to love it. I like picking things for other people to eat and knowing that I am helping a little.
    :o

    6) Down-shifting 3 brands. We will try and do this. After all, the tescimo instant mash has still stuck around from last time.
    :p

    7) Meal planning is my absolute downfall. We decide what we are eating based on what yellow labels we get and OH is a nightmare with changing his mind about food.
    The only thing I can be certain of is that we will be having a roast every Sunday and that once a week we will be making a new meal from scratch.
    :undecided

    8) 18 spend-free days. I will do my best with this.
    :eek:

    9) Document everything... Now this is another challenge. I am notoriously bad at forgetting what I have bought and for how much... but January is a new year and it is a new me so we will give it a go!!
    :shocked:

    10) Moving around would be a fantastic help as the diet is starting with a vengance in January. I am determined to lose weight and feel I need to. I am beginning to feel my weight a bit (sore knees, back and chest, although that was probably a pulled muscle) however it has made me think about my health and how I have been very lucky so far... so I should stop relying on luck and start relying on me looking after myself.
    _pale_

    11) Debt Free Date: Going to aim for the end of April but doubt that will happen. There is no way I can find £850 a month, I am lucky I can find £400 - £500 but I am determined to do what I can.
    :think: <---- determined me.

    12) I think my goals are floating around on here somewhere already.
    :o

    Roll on 2015!! May your challenges be achievable and your rewards great.
    Hugs.
    :D
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
  • Looks like goals you can achieve if you put your mind to it Stewby. Hope you've had a lovely Christmas and are planning to have an equally fabulous Hogmany.
    It’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.
    Sir Terry Pratchett
    Find my diary here

    http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=5135113
  • in_need_of_directionin_need_of_direction Forumite
    6.9K Posts
    Eighth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Forumite
    Best of luck with them.
    Mortgage at 01.01.14 £119,481.83:eek: today £39999. 1£29592
    Emergency fund £5.5/5.5k & £200/200 cash.:j
    Weight 24/02/19 14st 7lb now 12st 2lb
    determined to stop defining myself by my mistakes.
    Progress not perfection.:T
    24% through my 1% mortgage challenge. 1% = £387
  • stewbystewby Forumite
    1.2K Posts
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    Warning: very negative post but needs to be put down on paper so that I can get some perspective. Sorry.

    The past 48 hours have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. It's difficult to explain how my head works but will give it a shot.

    I am a bit of an over-achiever and am extremely over critical of everything I do. I am very aware of this but struggle to keep it in check.
    Last year, I became extremely stressed at work and moved jobs (same career, just different place) to try and salvage my career and what was left of my sanity. I had cut my shifts and thus ended up in debt with my parents as they tried to support me.
    Unfortunately my previous job left me a feeling of complete insufficiency which I cannot seem to shake. The slightest comment from another person makes me extremely defensive and the comment plays over and over in my head until I become convinced that it is an attack at me.

    I try and fill my head with other stuff and other things to achieve in order to distract myself from things that are going wrong... but then that is now going wrong.
    Debt-busting became a focus but it is very hard going. Things keep happening to stop me paying it off as fast which I know I should expect and stuff but it keeps throwing me. I am having to keep pushing back the debt-free date which in turn pushes back the starting of the wedding savings which in turn makes my dreams less likely (the honeymoon mainly).
    :undecided

    My mind then started thinking about the future... I have always wanted a dog and OH would love one too. However, 12 hours shifts are not compatible with keeping a pet and OH would be away for 10 hours a day if you include work and travel time... So no dog.
    The plan was for OH and I to see how we got on with a dog before maybe attempting the adoption route for a child. We are both scared of not being good enough for raising a child so the plan was to start with a dog and see how it went.
    No dog means that OH is pretty much put off trying to adopt. For the record, the adoption thing was going to happen after the wedding so we would both be 35, married, etc.
    But then finances started playing a part. My shifts are the problem so I could stop work... but then OH can't afford to pay for everything on his salary... okay, so OH would stop work... but then we can't afford to pay for everything on my salary.

    Basically, I started thinking about what I have achieved in life so far and where I see myself in the future and the problem is that our future is set for the next ten years. OH has a massive loan to pay and his wages will never be enough to cover both my mortgage and his loan so there is no giving up work for the next ten years (I seperate the two as his loan is actually more than the mortgage).

    I feel even worse as other people would kill to be in my position so why do I feel so bad. I should be grateful to have my family, my health and a roof over my head with a good job that I love (most of the time).
    It's just stupid that I feel so rotten but I can't stop the horrible feeling.

    Sorry for the wee vent on here but it feels a bit better getting it all out on paper. There isn't really anything I can do to change our future (besides winning the lottery) but I kinda thought it was going to be a bit more than just working forever.

    My mum suggested getting a hobby so that I am not so work focussed but what hobby can I have. My shifts vary between days, nights, weekends so it can't really be a group or club. I am completely unfit and hate the idea of people seeing how unhealthy I am (can't swim, can't run, etc). Photography would be too expensive as a hobby (they all expect you to have fancy cameras) and my shaky hands would put paid to be any good.
    The only thing I really have is my work... which right now, I don't feel very good at either. Am absolutely dreading going back to work on Tuesday but going off sick is just not an option I am willing to even consider. I would just feel even more of a failure.

    A dog seemed like the perfect solution. Someone to speak to about my work without breaching confidentiality, endless hugs and affection, walking with a purpose behind it, having something else to talk about that isn't work related.
    I have become very one-dimensional and it makes me sad.

    Surely I am more than just a job. There must be more to me.
    Mortgage: £0/£80,329.91
    Savings: £0/£6400
    :love:
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