Separated, how much should I provide?

edited 31 August 2016 at 12:26PM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
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  • JackRS wrote: »
    I got a text today asking why I was keeping the joint account at the overdraft limit what if she needs cash? Then when I got back to the digs I got a divorce petition from her solicitor.

    In the letter it says:

    'We understand that you have been speaking to our client direct in relation to financial matters and our client has confirmed that she would now like us to deal with this aspect on her behalf'

    Then later in the letter it states under MPS heading:

    'We understand that you have indicated that you would like to close the joint account and/or reduce or cancel our client's allowance. We would remind you of your legal obligation to provide adequate financial support to the children and our client'

    Seeing my solicitor Friday...

    They're trying to ensure that her 'allowance' is provable as such. You need to see a solicitor ASAP. Take the letter and be prepared to play dirty. She will so you need to.
  • RASRAS Forumite
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    OK

    You now need to get that letter to the bank requiring both signatures on all future transactions.
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
  • janninewjanninew Forumite
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    JackRS wrote: »
    I got a text today asking why I was keeping the joint account at the overdraft limit what if she needs cash? Then when I got back to the digs I got a divorce petition from her solicitor.

    In the letter it says:

    'We understand that you have been speaking to our client direct in relation to financial matters and our client has confirmed that she would now like us to deal with this aspect on her behalf'

    Then later in the letter it states under MPS heading:

    'We understand that you have indicated that you would like to close the joint account and/or reduce or cancel our client's allowance. We would remind you of your legal obligation to provide adequate financial support to the children and our client'

    Seeing my solicitor Friday...

    She's texting you, yet her solicitors are asking you to go through them regarding financial matters. Surely that works both ways and she shouldn't be contacting you direct.

    I agree with the poster earlier, you need to man up and not be walked all over! Glad you are seeing a solicitor and hoping you can get this resolved as amicably as possible.
    :heart2: Newborn Thread Member :heart2:

    'Children reinvent the world for you.' - Susan Sarandan
  • Caroline_aCaroline_a Forumite
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    I hope you have a pitbull of a solicitor, OP. It makes me very sad when an adult woman isn't capable of standing on her own two feet and supporting herself in this day and age. She should be ashamed of herself!
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    Caroline_a wrote: »
    I hope you have a pitbull of a solicitor, OP. It makes me very sad when an adult woman isn't capable of standing on her own two feet and supporting herself in this day and age. She should be ashamed of herself!

    Don't know yet but in conversations so far seems very good. I guess it's been what my ex has been used to in recent years and as she hasn't theoretically done anything wrong she would feel that nothing should change for her.

    In the Divorce Petition it's got me for the costs obviously and then in the financial order they have selected that the petitioner may be granted the following:

    - an order for maintenance pending suit/outcome.
    - periodical payments order
    - secured provision order
    - lump sum order
    - property adjustment order
    - order under section 24B etc...(Pension sharing)

    For the children
    - a periodic payments order
    - a secured provision order
    - a lump sum order
    - a property adjustment order

    So looks like I'll be needing that tent!

    We'll see how good my solicitor is but right now obviously it's all a bit scary and new to me. However it's the path I have chosen.
    Regards

    JackRS
  • justme111justme111 Forumite
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    I do not think they will make you to pay her life long alimony , I guess it just looks scary on paper. in any case tent alone sometimes is preferable to a castle in not an enjoyable company.
    The word "dilemma" comes from Greek where "di" means two and "lemma" means premise. Refers usually to difficult choice between two undesirable options.
    Often people seem to use this word mistakenly where "quandary" would fit better.
  • RASRAS Forumite
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    So much for trying to be amicable; when she has presumably been intending this for a while?
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
  • comeandgocomeandgo Forumite
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    JackRS, I have not read all 8 pages of this topic but one thing did stand out to me and that is your wife saying you have "abandoned the family" - this rings so true to my husbands situation - he left his first wife and that was her take on things. She too did not have a job, never had one, she received half of all assets less half of all debts which gave her enough to live on, she did try and get extra alimony and the court hearing was set but she agreed to what had been proposed minutes before all due to go into court.I suppose the difference was his children had left home, but to get to the point, the children accept what happened, they talk to their dad same as before - it just takes time.
    When solicitors get involved things get more "brutal". Each solicitor has to work to their clients advantage so please dont let guilt dictate what you do, take the solicitors advice and pay what you legally have to - nothing more.
  • comeandgocomeandgo Forumite
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    may be granted the following:
    Dont let the legal documents scare you - the word may is important, its not saying will but may.
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    justme111 wrote: »
    I do not think they will make you to pay her life long alimony , I guess it just looks scary on paper. in any case tent alone sometimes is preferable to a castle in not an enjoyable company.

    Indeed, can be happy in a tent or even stretch to a van!
    Regards

    JackRS
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