Separated, how much should I provide?

edited 31 August 2016 at 12:26PM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
3.3K replies 590.8K views
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  • JackRS wrote: »
    Probably change the locks?

    Then grow a backbone man! Stop being such a victim. You're going to have to start respecting yourself because it's clear no one else will.

    Stop paying ridiculous amounts of money to her and stop faffing around.
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
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    JackRS wrote: »
    Probably change the locks?

    You also own the house and can either the locks again or insist on the new keys.

    It's only if there has been domestic abuse that she could keep you out of your house.
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    Treevo wrote: »
    Then grow a backbone man! Stop being such a victim. You're going to have to start respecting yourself because it's clear no one else will.

    Stop paying ridiculous amounts of money to her and stop faffing around.

    Yeah I know, realise it's not going to go nicely but don't want to do anything that will later regret so once I've had my meeting with solicitor Friday will confirm my action plan. I will be going to do the jobs I plan to the house this weekend I'm just wondering if she's got some legal motive to keep me away?
    Regards

    JackRS
  • edited 14 May 2013 at 5:20PM
    summerof0763summerof0763 Forumite
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    edited 14 May 2013 at 5:20PM
    she can't keep you out of the house, it belongs to both of you, you can go in and redecorate if you so desire, at end of day you want the best value for selling.

    you can live there as well, she has no legal right to stop you, and if she changes the locks, she is obliged to give you a key.x
    i came into the world with nothing,and guess what? i still have it!!!:p
  • GigervampGigervamp Forumite
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    Maybe she doesn't want to sell and is hoping that if the garden is a mess and there's other bits to be done to tidy the house up, it won't sell so easily.
  • JackRS wrote: »
    Yeah I know, realise it's not going to go nicely but don't want to do anything that will later regret so once I've had my meeting with solicitor Friday will confirm my action plan. I will be going to do the jobs I plan to the house this weekend I'm just wondering if she's got some legal motive to keep me away?

    She's got legal motive for getting you to continue to pay ridiculous amounts of maintenance. So the sooner you knock that on the head the better.

    She's already bad mouthing you to your kids - so at least try to salvage their respect in the long term by standing up for yourself.
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    Gigervamp wrote: »
    Maybe she doesn't want to sell and is hoping that if the garden is a mess and there's other bits to be done to tidy the house up, it won't sell so easily.

    Yeah that's what I think
    Regards

    JackRS
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    Treevo wrote: »
    She's got legal motive for getting you to continue to pay ridiculous amounts of maintenance. So the sooner you knock that on the head the better.

    She's already bad mouthing you to your kids - so at least try to salvage their respect in the long term by standing up for yourself.

    Yep that's the plan
    Regards

    JackRS
  • JackRSJackRS Forumite
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    I got a text today asking why I was keeping the joint account at the overdraft limit what if she needs cash? Then when I got back to the digs I got a divorce petition from her solicitor.

    In the letter it says:

    'We understand that you have been speaking to our client direct in relation to financial matters and our client has confirmed that she would now like us to deal with this aspect on her behalf'

    Then later in the letter it states under MPS heading:

    'We understand that you have indicated that you would like to close the joint account and/or reduce or cancel our client's allowance. We would remind you of your legal obligation to provide adequate financial support to the children and our client'

    Seeing my solicitor Friday...
    Regards

    JackRS
  • DS4215DS4215 Forumite
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    JackRS wrote: »
    'We understand that you have indicated that you would like to close the joint account and/or reduce or cancel our client's allowance. We would remind you of your legal obligation to provide adequate financial support to the children and our client'

    I would drop your financial support down to the CSA level and tell her that her solicitor advised you to do that :)
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