Separated, how much should I provide?

edited 31 August 2016 at 11:26AM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
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  • bodmilbodmil Forumite
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    OrkneyStar wrote: »
    I can see where you are coming from, but I hope most parents would encourage their children to look for some sort of work, not only to give them extra money but to give them some experience too (though of course you can get that through voluntary work too).

    I don't disagree, it just sounds like the father is only doing this now that he has moved out. It's a totally separate issue.
    obviously funding the family and myself is difficult on one income
    The situation hasn't changed from how it has always been so I disagree that the wife should be funding bills from JSA and benefits. As a couple they have seemingly decided that she wouldn't go to work, now as a couple they have decided to split suddently the bills fall to the tax payer? Thankfully the mortgage is taken care of so if as a couple they decide that she should take over the financial responsibility of the children's home, she should be able to fund the bills on a small wage. Until she's able to do that, they should carry on funding them the way they always have - from a single wage.

    If the father had left behind huge running costs such as a mortgage, it's not fair to expect a woman who has been out of the career ladder for so long to pick up those huge bills, the principle should remain the same.


    I think you the OP should continue to fund the lifestyle that his family have chosen until the wife is able to secure employment to take on the costs herself. In the meantime OP will just have to keep the belt tight, or move back home to avoid running two homes.
  • edited 18 April 2013 at 3:44PM
    RASRAS Forumite
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    edited 18 April 2013 at 3:44PM
    JackRS wrote: »
    Ironically my wife has her own account, I’ve only got joint account but have recently taken out my own with the mind to get my pay in there and then transfer an amount to the joint but are you saying she’ll get accessed on the joint?

    Based on what I have seen recently..................

    Maintenance/Child Support is not used to assess your wife's income for JSA purposes. Label payments as maintenance/Child Support.

    But if she has access to a joint account into which your salary is being paid, then they will count that money as income for assessment purposes. So she will be refused income based JSA and that is a door to other benefits.

    I would also add that the benefits forum here gets a huge number of panic-stricken threads started by spouses and partners whose ex is still listed on bank accounts and the electoral roll etc at the address which leads to fraud investigations.

    So make the split complete, register elsewhere on the electoral roll, move your bank accounts, take readings on the meters and transfer the utility accounts to your wifes name etcetc.
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  • krustylouisekrustylouise Forumite
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    duchy wrote: »
    Why on earth do your children "obviously" need jobs ? They are in fulltime education.....Do you expect them to give that up simply because you've chosen to move out ?

    You need to seperate your marital finances. If your wife is job seeking she should be claiming JSA and tax credits for the children should be claimed by her as a single parent not as a joint claim as is possibly still happening at the moment. In addition as mentioned you should be paying child support of 20% of your income either as a private arrangement or via the CSA

    I had a paper round from 13 and a job as a waitress in a chippy from 15. Children need to learn that you don't get something for nothing and definitely need to learn the value of money.
  • RASRAS Forumite
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    bodmil wrote: »
    I think you the OP should continue to fund the lifestyle that his family have chosen until the wife is able to secure employment to take on the costs herself. In the meantime OP will just have to keep the belt tight, or move back home to avoid running two homes.

    The difficulty with this is that is gives the wife unlimited time to fail to secure employment.

    Ignoring the situation legally

    1. It may well be that the older child's course does not meet the rules allowing CB to be claimed and therefore there will be no CSA due to support her.

    2. It would be potentially damaging to the childrens' studies for the family to experience a very sudden drop in income.

    3. When the younger child leaves secondary education in a year or twos time the wife will get no CSA and no benefit support other than possibly JSA and CTB.

    I would suggest that they split the household now but that the OP pays support until the end of the summer terms. Since we do not know his income we cannot advise what amount that might be.

    That thereafter he pays the required CSA for the younger child to his wife plus a consideration to cover re-training etc. That give her time build up an employment history before everything hits the fan when junior leaves school.

    If the older child is still in education, the support goes direct to her.
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  • Loz01Loz01 Forumite
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    I think if your kids want driving lessons they should find a Saturday/part time job and fund it themselves, I got a job in Argos when I was 16 and by the time I was 17 every weeks money was going on driving lessons and insurance for my first rusty car.

    Edit: I worked there while I was taking four A Levels at sixth form, so dont let them use that as an excuse to not finding a job, a few hours a week wont hurt.
  • FBabyFBaby Forumite
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    Personally I don't think it is so much your children who should be finding jobs to be self reliant but your ex. However, if she has never worked, that's not going to be easy.

    What is a pity is that you don't seem to have explain from the start that although you were happy to continue to support them at quite a high level, so that in essence, she doesn't need to get a job, this would be temporary and therefore she would need to start planning her life without your support.
  • edited 18 April 2013 at 6:06PM
    duchyduchy Forumite
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    edited 18 April 2013 at 6:06PM
    I think you need to understand what is expected of you -legally - and what is "choice".

    You also need proper legal advice .

    Once you seperate finances

    Your wife in entitled to income based JSA -this will also likely qualify her for reduced council tax, free prescriptions etc

    She will also be entitled to claim child support from you (note she claims it FOR the household) of 20% of your income whilst both children are in fulltime further education.

    Extras like driving lessons or pocketmoney you give the children are seperate and extra to child support.

    If you wife has never worked and was a stay at home mother it is possible she may also be able to claim maintenance from you for a time in addition to child support (sometimes this is waived if the property is signed over to the wife instead)....... something to discuss with your legal person.
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  • edited 18 April 2013 at 6:33PM
    duchyduchy Forumite
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    edited 18 April 2013 at 6:33PM
    OrkneyStar wrote: »
    I would expect any child from about 16 onward to look for some sort of job, ideally full time if they are not in education, and part-time if they are. I don't think the OP is expecting too much at that age.

    He didn't appear to "expect it" whilst he lived in the family home however !

    I think I'd have felt quite allienated if my father left and then informed me I needed to get a job to help him fund his new single lifestyle (from a teenager's perspective)
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  • OrkneyStarOrkneyStar Forumite
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    duchy wrote: »
    He didn't appear to "expect it" whilst he lived in the family home however !

    I think I'd have felt quite allienated if my father left and then informed me I needed to get a job to help him fund his new single lifestyle (from a teenager's perspective)
    I wasn't that over-joyed when my dad died, leaving my mum as a single parent, and pretty much forcing me to work while I studied. That is life though.
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  • duchyduchy Forumite
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    OrkneyStar wrote: »
    I wasn't that over-joyed when my dad died, leaving my mum as a single parent, and pretty much forcing me to work while I studied. That is life though.

    Hardly the same thing ...it wasn't a choice he made presumably.

    I do think the OP should think about what the changes and how they impact may also impact on his present and future relationships with his kids.
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