Planning for death - forum discussion

edited 16 October 2012 at 1:44PM in Deaths, Funerals & Probate
105 replies 38.9K views


  • fpcatfpcat Forumite
    310 Posts
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    About 12 months ago I was quite bothered about wills, funerals and such. I made a will in December 2011, and I borrowed a book called

    : The Essential Guide to your Letter of Wishes by P Byron

    This is a kind of guidebook/workbook which walks you through the things you feel you need to think about before your death. It covers things like essential papers, children, funeral arrangements, pets and who needs informing, etc. I bought a copy (about £12.95 Amazon), and have filled most of it in. I've told my next of kin of it, and they know where it will be stored. Along with my funeral plan it should save them a lot of time and anxiety when I pass, and they are left to deal with things. The only thing is I've said what music etc I want at my funeral, but haven't yet got round to telling my chosen Funeral Director, so that is next on my list of things to complete.

  • PennyForThem_2PennyForThem_2 Forumite
    835 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Icey77 wrote: »
    Following my Dads death 6 years ago my Mum has set up a savings account which my sister and I are additional signatories to. The account requires 2 out of the 3 signatures to withdraw cash.

    This is so that there is money readily available to pay for her funeral when the time comes.

    I think my grandmother has taken an similar step too.

    I would double check that if I were you. I set up a similiar arrangement (I thought) with my son but the bank actually would allow withdrawals on one signature - I found out later.
  • worriedmum46worriedmum46 Forumite
    344 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts
    Hi, was wondering if any second 'wife' or husbands out there have written a will, and what issues it bought up.

    I am a second wife, my husband has grown up children/grandchildren from a first marriage, and we have school aged children together.

    We live in a house I bought before we married and I would like it to go to my children on the basis that they are set up well -

    My health is a disaster and I am probably looking at months of life and not years. Hubby is fab, but a financial disaster - and I want the kids to be safe/roof over heads and am thinking of leaving it to them in the will.

    Is this sensible do you think?
    January 2012 Debenhams Goodie Bag and Conor Maynard Tickets (= happy teenage daughter!).

    Thanks to all who post, and GL to all who try!!
  • getmore4lessgetmore4less Forumite
    46.2K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've helped Parliament
    How old are the kids

    who lives in the house.

    do you want hubby to be able to stay living there.

    You need to get advice from a solicitor
  • vandavanda Forumite
    15 Posts
    lost mum recently - scotland - basic funeral around £3000. Brothers (not worldy wise but all other members family not in country) Anyway funeral parlour wanted £800 deposit (TO BE PAID IN 3 DAYS B4 funeral) - Money there but in policies etc. Phoned Funeral Robbers to say that money WILL be paid but insurance policy cant be cashed for a couple more days. Response NO MONEY NO FUNERAL
  • John_PierpointJohn_Pierpoint Forumite
    8.4K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    Yes, getting 6 death certificates was a wise move as well as obtaining about 4 probate certificates - made things easier.

    Businesses you send death cert and probate cert to do return them.

    Always ask for the death department when calling a company - most do have dedicated advisors when calling about a departed. This is really useful as they treat you sensitively and actually help you do what needs to be done. You can contact them at any time with anything to do with the death - even months after. Get a name though would be my advice.

    Some share registrars refuse to give the certificates back.

    I found "the bereavement dept." the commonly used euphemism for dealing with dead account holders.
  • I must agree with Martin on how important this is. My beloved Dad died 2 years ago and he had planned his funeral from the hymns he wanted, who he wanted to take the service, how he wanted the layout of the hymnsheet, the announcement in the paper. He had even bought a grave for himself and my Mum!
    he would remind us where all these instructions were on a regular basis, and we would say things like "Oh Dad, don't talk about that".
    But when the time came, he saved us a lot of worry and angst and in fact, we sometimes had a little laugh just remembering how he organised it all.

    I shall try and do the same but it will be difficult!
  • ronmielronmiel Forumite
    155 Posts
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    One thing I would remind everybody is to keep a note of each others National Insurance number. When my husband died, every form I needed to fill in seemed to need this number. Where you will obviously know the deceased persons name and birth date, very few people know somebody elses N.I. number. I have made sure my sons know where to find mine.
  • Bad-dad wrote: »
    My wife died earlier this year and I was most surprised when her bank transferred the balances of her current & savings accounts to me within days after sight of only the death certificate. In the past nothing would have occurred until Grant of Probate had been issued. I may have been fortunate but had it been me who died and my bank had blocked my accounts until probate then my wife could have been hard pressed to meet all the day to day bills let alone those of my funeral!
    Some time ago we decided to avoid any such problem by changing all of our individual savings accounts into joint accounts. This way title would immediately, upon production of death certificate, be switched to the sole survivor.

    Legally , this does not apply in Scotland. The deceased's half of a joint account belongs to the deceased's estate, not the surviving joint account holder.

    If anyone knows whether accounts are released nowadays without probate please advise otherwise what we did may be worth while giving some consideration.

    Yes , banks do release monies without probate/ confirmation (yet they shouldn't according to law if there is more than a certain amount..) which is how my stepfather was able to clear all my mums accounts ( in her name only & well over £5,000) the day before her funeral, and keep it for himself against her wishes.
    The banks have denied doing this yet I have copies of the receipts thanks to an expensive court procedure.
    However, as my lawyer tells me, it's not a crime to tell lies. It only becomes a crime if you are under oath and your lies can be shown to be lies with written evidence.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Forumite
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    Eighth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Debt-free and Proud!
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    Icey77 wrote: »
    The account requires 2 out of the 3 signatures to withdraw cash.

    Heaven forbid, but what happens, if more than one of the signatories dies at the same time?
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