Real life MMD: My ex paid for the hol, should I keep the refund?

edited 17 April 2012 at 4:06PM in Money Saving Polls
195 replies 34.5K views


  • To save hassle and time, cash the cheque then transfer the funds to his bank account. If you paid anything to this holiday, take back what you paid and give him his share. Just because he is successful and in a well-paid job, does not mean you have a right to take his money.

    Be a good example to your children and show them that theft is wrong!!
  • ThegirlThegirl Forumite
    143 Posts
    The money is his.
    I feel quite sad that after him treating you to outings and booking a holiday and spending £1700 in the process that you would even think that you should keep the deposit.
    Keeping this money will give you more problems than it is worth. It could impact your benefits and cause untold problems from your ex. Even if you somehow can justify to yourself that you should keep it as you are worse off than him (although how this is his fault I don't know) then perhaps you should consider the implications if you do.

    A side note, as someone else has pointed out, if you are the lead name on the holiday only you can cancel the holiday, so presumably he did not cancel it, you did.
    Why did you not ask them to refund to the card it was paid on? As someone else pointed out, this should be what happened anyway due to money laundering regulations.
    If I cut you out of my life I can guarantee you handed me the scissors
  • edited 18 April 2012 at 3:17PM
    fionadcfionadc Forumite
    9 Posts
    edited 18 April 2012 at 3:17PM
    Dont care how rich he is/isnt, how good/bad the break up was, taking the money is shadey and noone can paint as anything other than that to me.

    No offence but the bloke clearly had a lucky escape....and yes I would say that to the OPs face.
  • Can't believe anyone would even need to ask this? Its his money regardless of how much he earns. I'm sure he works very hard for his money!::eek:
  • paulfoelpaulfoel Forumite
    5.7K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Self respect ?
    Cymru am Byth !!! :j:j:j
  • BNTBNT Forumite
    2.8K Posts
    Thegirl wrote: »
    A side note, as someone else has pointed out, if you are the lead name on the holiday only you can cancel the holiday, so presumably he did not cancel it, you did.

    Not necessarily. If he set up the website login with his email address and password, but used her name and address, he would be able to cancel at any time.
  • happyinfloridahappyinflorida Forumite
    807 Posts
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    Do you still have any contact with him?

    I'd tell him what's happening and ask him if he wants you to send the money onto him, either online or by cheque.

    It'd be lovely of him to say, you keep it, I don't need it - considering your position - but if he tells you to send him all of it - he is entitled to that, as it's his money.

    At least it will show him you are honest and for me, that would matter more than anything. If you benefit from being honest, you'll feel much better for it - well I would!
  • I am appalled that someone should actually think this is a dilemma in the first place!
    Further appalled that one or two are actually agreeing (one or two more than I expected)

    how about looking up the meaning of words like

    ...all the things we should be teaching our children by example?????
  • It doesn't matter how tempted you are to keep the money it does not really belong to you. If the situation was reversed you would be very upset if this happened to you and you would say the guy was a thief and was stealing from you. So do not put yourself in this position, contact him tell him what has happened and ask how does he want the money paid.
  • How can you ask a question like this. So what if he earns good money what has that got to do with anything. I can see why you're on your own.
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