you know when all you lovely people give advice...

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  • Sorry its so long ~ have to get it all of my chest

    having a very very very very bad day today regarding finances :( i have gone back to my first ever lightbulb momment :( I have got payed today and i have £65.46 for the month (and that includes debt repayment) ~ sounds fammilier doesnt it? the problem is i cant find a way out of it... the money i have sat in my accounts as are as follows ~

    £65.46 ~ spending acc
    £556.28 ~ bills account (bills listed below)
    £150.00 ~ isa (savings for holiday on the 16/4/07)
    £198.70 ~ car savings
    £54.15 ~ xmas savings
    £75.00 ~ approx in my paypal account

    £1099.59 :rolleyes:

    here is all my bills comes from the bill account ~ explaniation here

    £100.00 ~ dca for mum ~ dont give her house keeping
    £50.00 ~ excess of house keeping for mum ~ keep for bt bill below as she ran up a debt
    £70.00 ~ bt internet and debt (see above) not tied but havnt had time to swap
    £48.00 ~ bus cards
    £11.00 ~ house insurance
    £3.28 ~ bike insurance (tied till sep)
    £10.00 ~ car savings (min regular saver cant lower)
    £18.00 ~ xmas savings (need this so it will give me £210.00 for xmas)
    £6.00 ~ deno ~ charity

    now i also have ~
    £120.00 ~ driving ~ i need to keep this up really as i have already spent £1600.00 on lessons
    £170.00 ~ college ~ i could prob pay this in june but i really want to be accepted on the course (this is a one off)

    then i have ~
    £9.72 ~ mag subscription (every 3 months, i am sure its due this month, if it is it will come from the over draft)

    total = £606.28 - £50.00 (see above) = £556.28

    can anyone offer advice? my debt is £446.39 @ 0% for 5 months, i will need to pay the min this month (if this is how a 0% works (never done this before)) which will leave me prob £40 at a push, i can do it just but i now like going swimming so thats £3.10 per week maybe £6.20 depends how many times i go so that will eat up some of that money... my brother is owed me £35 but someone (me) when her tax return came back said she would pay for his driving lincense, so now i cant count that money :doh:

    having a real downer today, i seem like i have been working forever and what i have to put up with doent match the wage :o I do 38 hours a week @ £5.70 then i pay ni, tax and £26 into my pension and that leaves me (well this month) £774.53 and i dont know if that includes any overtime? I used to save half my wages but in the last few months i seem to save just the min (see my bills) because the money isnt there, but i dont spend anything :confused: i even have a spending diary and yes in jan i spent loads and in feb i spent less than 3% of what i did in jan but its not reflected in my balances :cry:

    i feel like going out and splashing my £65.46 :rotfl:
  • SnagglesSnaggles Forumite
    19.5K Posts
    Oh PAP, it's going to be a tight month, but if anyone can do it, it's you. Do you have to pay for food etc or does your Mum pay for that? Can you save less for your holiday, or have a couple less driving lessons this month (have one a fortnight instead of one a week or something), or miss your Xmas savings this month and save double next month (or whenever you can afford it)?

    Might be a silly question but can your Mum help at all? I know you have helped her out on numerous occasions.

    All the best xxx
    "I wasn't wrong, I just wasn't right enough."
    :smileyhea
    9780007258925
  • Snaggles wrote: »
    Oh PAP, it's going to be a tight month, but if anyone can do it, it's you. Do you have to pay for food etc or does your Mum pay for that? Can you save less for your holiday, or have a couple less driving lessons this month (have one a fortnight instead of one a week or something), or miss your Xmas savings this month and save double next month (or whenever you can afford it)?

    Might be a silly question but can your Mum help at all? I know you have helped her out on numerous occasions.

    All the best xxx

    thanks snaggles i know i can do it, but its just i aint going to be liked, everyone at work was planing a night out, i said i wont go but i never go out so i made an exception, now i cant they arent going to like me :rotfl:

    no i dont have to pay for food but i dont eat anyway... my mum buys all the cheap high salt/high fat foods so i seem to live of fruit and veg that i buy :rolleyes: well i will be payed 3 days brfore my holiday next month, i suppose i can take my holiday savings down to £80 and hope i have some more money next month i am doing overtime this week (but my line manager didnt wantme too :() driving lessons is a tough one, i missed on last week because i didnt have the money had one today and i have gone back again, silly things, i have 1 hour and 1/2 for £30 i can ask him for 1 hours i suppose but i dont think he will do them :( i cant miss my xmas savings as its a regular saver... but i suppose i can stop the direct debit and then get a letter from them :rolleyes: its just not ideal is it...

    the only definate thing i can do is not pay for college and pay may/june and just hope they have places left :rolleyes: pushing it though... and i have already written the cheque :cry: i was looking forward to that :rolleyes:
  • miolieremioliere Forumite
    6.8K Posts
    We all fall off the wagon now and then so don't feel bad! When I really feel like a spend-up to cheer me up I go to one of my local charity shops. I love books - novels and reference books, and I can pick up more than one satisfying bargain for just pennies. If it's clothing you fancy, there's no better place to buy than a charity shop. One of my local shops has £1 and .50p rails - not just the stuff that won't sell - they just grab handfuls from all the other rails and mark them down. Once I bought SIX dresses (one an almost new Monsoon) for £6.00 the lot! That cheered me up for months - I told everyone I knew! So, next time you feel like spending get loads of cheap bargains and support a good cause! You'll feel great, I promise!
    KNIT YOUR SQUARE TOTALS:

    Squares: 11, Animal blankets: 2
  • Pap, how are you feeling about it today hun? It does look like things are tight but, as snaggles said, you can do it!! If you need to reduce your holiday savings a bit to get through the month, then that'll have to be, and then maybe use your overtime next month to bring it up again.

    I know how it feels with driving lessons, you don't want to have a break for fear that your driving will suffer, and I totally understand you wanting to sign up for the college thing now. That is part of you improving your education and moving forward job-wise so i'd say pay that asap!!

    Long term though, PAP, the situation with your mum does seem to be putting quite a strain on your finances, I know there are reasons behind all the things that you pay but it does seem a lot. Its hard when you live with family though, I can understand.

    Take care

    Kath x
    Don't stress, relax, let life roll off your backs. Except for death and paying taxes, everything in life is only for now... Avenue Q
    Official DFW Nerd Club - Member no. 003 :DProud to have become debt free... and striving to keep it that way
  • CAFCGirlCAFCGirl Forumite
    9.1K Posts
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    Right hun, I told you I'd be swanning on over and here I am!
    Lets see what we can do here!
    Sorry its so long ~ have to get it all of my chest............

    £65.46 ~ spending acc
    £556.28 ~ bills account (bills listed below)
    £150.00 ~ isa (savings for holiday on the 16/4/07)
    £198.70 ~ car savings
    £54.15 ~ xmas savings
    £75.00 ~ approx in my paypal account

    £1099.59 :rolleyes:

    here is all my bills comes from the bill account ~ explaniation here

    £100.00 ~ dca for mum ~ dont give her house keeping
    £50.00 ~ excess of house keeping for mum ~ keep for bt bill below as she ran up a debt
    £70.00 ~ bt internet and debt (see above) not tied but havnt had time to swap
    £48.00 ~ bus cards
    £11.00 ~ house insurance
    £3.28 ~ bike insurance (tied till sep)
    £10.00 ~ car savings (min regular saver cant lower)
    £18.00 ~ xmas savings (need this so it will give me £210.00 for xmas)
    £6.00 ~ deno ~ charity

    now i also have ~
    £120.00 ~ driving ~ i need to keep this up really as i have already spent £1600.00 on lessons
    £170.00 ~ college ~ i could prob pay this in june but i really want to be accepted on the course (this is a one off)

    then i have ~
    £9.72 ~ mag subscription (every 3 months, i am sure its due this month, if it is it will come from the over draft)

    total = £606.28 - £50.00 (see above) = £556.28

    can anyone offer advice? my debt is £446.39 @ 0% for 5 months, i will need to pay the min this month (if this is how a 0% works (never done this before)) which will leave me prob £40 at a push, i can do it just but i now like going swimming so thats £3.10 per week maybe £6.20 depends how many times i go so that will eat up some of that money... my brother is owed me £35 but someone (me) when her tax return came back said she would pay for his driving lincense, so now i cant count that money :doh:

    i feel like going out and splashing my £65.46 :rotfl:

    I have a small confession to being slightly confused with how its set out there...

    Is your total debt £446.39?
    R.E driving instructor.... I'm not sure why he wouldnt do lessons for one hour? I always thought that was the standard lesson time? Is it possible to push his hand, and say you want to keep going with them but due to cash flow situation you can only afford x per week. And he can either teach you for an hour and have x amount, or he can say no and get no money off you and you find another tutor, cheaper perhaps?

    Could you also explain to me the £100 housekeeping and £50 excess to your Mum? I was pretty much lost on that one.

    Give yourself some breathing room! And dont for one minute think you dont deserve help/support/a few random giggles from people here. We're all here for you and will help any way we can. Go on, give yourself a big fat hug from us :grouphug:

    £11 house insurance, how come you're paying this?
    Money in your paypal account, immediately pay this off something! It's not really doing you any favours being in your paypal account surely!

    How much is the debt outstanding to BT?
    Explain to your brother that you cant afford to pay for his license and that you need the money that is owed to you.

    Whats the minimum repayment on your debt?

    Sorry for all the questions, but I'm a little bit lost with some of the figures. Please forgive my stupidity!

    And dont worry yourself, we'll get you through the worries and you'll see its never as bad as it seems once we've put it through the wash!:A
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  • CAFCGirl wrote: »
    Right hun, I told you I'd be swanning on over and here I am!
    Lets see what we can do here! ~ thanks hun, it is confussing please bear with me...

    I have a small confession to being slightly confused with how its set out there...

    Is your total debt £446.39? yep thats my total debt ~ not much but in was debt free only 3 months ago :mad:

    R.E driving instructor.... I'm not sure why he wouldnt do lessons for one hour? I always thought that was the standard lesson time? Is it possible to push his hand, and say you want to keep going with them but due to cash flow situation you can only afford x per week. And he can either teach you for an hour and have x amount, or he can say no and get no money off you and you find another tutor, cheaper perhaps? i think i will ask him, the prob is he is the first instructor out of 5 to keep me :(

    Could you also explain to me the £100 housekeeping and £50 excess to your Mum? I was pretty much lost on that one. this is teh confusing part ~ i pay my mum £30 house keeping every friday (from the 15th) but because of where the 15th falls this month i have to give her £150.00. Nows mums in debt and she never payed her debt off so now i pay it from my account £100.00. The remainder i take £11 out for the bt line rental (i have to pay the whole bill from my account because i have the internet) then i would save the rest for her for xmas, but since she ran up a debt with bt i now keep it all and then we sort it when the bill comes

    Give yourself some breathing room! And dont for one minute think you dont deserve help/support/a few random giggles from people here. We're all here for you and will help any way we can. Go on, give yourself a big fat hug from us :grouphug: aww thanks :A

    £11 house insurance, how come you're paying this? I am paying this beacuse my mum cant afford to! and the house want insured thus my items werent insured and if we were to get robbed/in a fire there would be no way i can replace the stuff that mean lots to me (my pc ;)) :rotfl:


    Money in your paypal account, immediately pay this off something! It's not really doing you any favours being in your paypal account surely! I am hoping to transfer this out soon waiting for one more payment then i will transfer it out :)

    How much is the debt outstanding to BT? no idea ads i havent had my quarterly, but itr was up to £200 last quarter, i trusted my mum not to use the phone and this is what happens :mad:

    Explain to your brother that you cant afford to pay for his license and that you need the money that is owed to you. tryed but it wont rub, sadly he has only a p/t job so no money coming in so how he can afford driving lessons i dont know :mad:

    Whats the minimum repayment on your debt? its 0% so i dont know never had a 0% before :confused:

    Sorry for all the questions, but I'm a little bit lost with some of the figures. Please forgive my stupidity!

    And dont worry yourself, we'll get you through the worries and you'll see its never as bad as it seems once we've put it through the wash!:A

    hope this helps hug.gif
  • CAFCGirlCAFCGirl Forumite
    9.1K Posts
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    ok!
    I have to confess to still being slightly confused.
    You pay your mum £30 a week but this month due to dates etc, it's £150?

    Because your mum is in debt you're paying her debt for her £100

    So are you paying out a total of £250 there?
    Or do you pay her debt (£100) in place of paying her housekeeping?

    My next suggestion would be contact BT and find out what your credit limit is on your account, and then find out how much money is owed to them.
    Secondly whilst on the phone to BT set up a PIN number. If you trusted your mum not to use the phone and she did, then maybe you need to put some restrictions in place so that while you're paying off the debt, more isnt being run up.

    I know its odd with BT because even though you think you're paying a lot back, when you work out the service charges that you pay each month, the actual debt amount doesnt seem to go down very much.

    Then I would investigate cheaper broadband elsewhere and see if you can save yourself a little bit there. From what I worked out, you're paying BT £70 a month.
    I have BT broadband, line rental and a bit toward some calls which costs me £35 a month. Now my service charges are £85 a quarter (just grabbed my bill out) so if you're paying £70, owe them lets say £200, you're paying them back £210, over the quarter
    Debt and service charges would mean you'd owe £285.
    So after a quarter, this leaves you with £75 outstanding, then next quarter, you'd again be paying back £210 over the quarter, but you'd only owe that quarter £75 from previous bill, £85 service charges, and at the end of that quarter you'd actually be in credit by £50.

    Hope that makes sense. But that is all on the basis that you dont use the phone to make very many calls. Hence why I think putting a block on it could ensure you pay it back at the best rate, and not have your mum running up more debt in the background.

    I think the joy of 0% cards is that it gives you breathing room when you need it most. However when does the 0% period end, and when it does what does the APR go up to?

    My other argument regarding driving would be, stop the lessons (hear me out!) spank the debts as it were, then when things are a bit easier, BT bill is clear, your debt free again etc, save up and do an intensive driving course, you can get these for as little as £350, and a lot will guarantee you will pass, and if you dont, they will keep doing week long courses with you (on them) until you do pass!
    Considering how much you've spent on lessons already, maybe now is the time for a definite pass guarantee.

    Another point regarding your brother........... he's only got a p/t job? Whats that got to do with you paying for his driving license? I don't mean that to sound cruel but, you cant afford to pay for his license anyway. And if he cant afford a license, then really he shouldnt be having lessons etc. Plus a p/t job still equals some money coming in!

    I absolutely applaud and am in awe of how much you appear to be doing on behalf of your family, but like what was said before me, you seem to be doing so at a negligence to your own well being, health and financial state.

    What do you work as can I ask?
    Do you live in rented accomodation? I'm thinking about your insurance, have you researched if this is the lowest possible? And is it buildings insurance or contents? It may also be cheaper to get insurance solely for particular items.

    I would also say cancel your charitable contribution for a short period of time as that will save a little per month, which you can use to pay off debt quicker, and then can continue after your new debt freedom making charity donations.
    Another point, insurance on a bike? If you've got a bike, is £48 on bus cards truly necessary?

    I hope none of this sounded off key or aggressive, I just see you doing an awful lot for other people and putting yourself at the bottom of the list and I think you need a little time, space, love and affection thats just for you :)

    Sending you hugs!
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  • beanieloubeanielou Forumite
    81K Posts
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    Dont be so hard on yourself POP
    Think about the intensive driving.It seems a great idea.
    Other way you could maybe do it is to have a break til you go on hol & then omce you are back a couple of weeks then you could have a lesson every second day or so to get you back up to speed?
    Take care
    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/03/14.
    **Credit card debt free 30/06/10~**
    MFW. Finally mortgage free February 2021****
    "A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
    ***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb.
    It starts with you, it starts from now. *** It is ok to be me.***
    ***Keep plodding***
    Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
  • SeaxwynSeaxwyn Forumite
    4.9K Posts
    Hi posting

    I agree with CAFC, you are behaving like an angel and putting everyone's interests before your own.

    Family is family but all the same it feels unfair that you are carrying your mum and your brother when your own financial margins are quite tight. I think it's time to say 'sorry, no more' to your brother. Can't he get another part-time job to make up his own wages.

    As for your mum, she needs to understand that you are doing your all to get her out of trouble and she needs to take a more responsible attitude. Can you explain to her that you are in debt too now and working your butt off to pay her debts and support your brother. The least she can do is respect your efforts, buy the food you want out of the family food budget, and not run up the phone bill.

    I really you manage to get rid of that nasty debt soon. In the longer term, could you get a higher paid job? You sound like a resourceful person and one that I'm sure any employer would be glad to have, so look around for jobs with a better salary.
    Total debt: 1 January 2007 £[strike]49,387.79[/strike] 1 January 2012 £[STRIKE]19,312.85[/STRIKE] 1 August 2012 £11,517.62



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