How to ask for cash as wedding present?

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Weddings & Anniversaries
112 replies 45.1K views
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  • i cant be doing with a miserable lot tonight. would say thanks for the input but you've not helped. not asked for your opinion, just asked for a way of wording something. i know our guests were more than happy to put money towards something we really wished for.

    end of.
    Fight for clean hospitals, C-DIFF takes lives :cry:


    Baby number 2 due 27th March 2009!:j
  • justie, finally someone who sees things in the real world. thank you.
    Fight for clean hospitals, C-DIFF takes lives :cry:


    Baby number 2 due 27th March 2009!:j
  • alythalyth Forumite
    2.7K Posts
    why do they need a honeymoon? Don't forget the guests may have spent money in getting there, outfits, childcare, and of course the guests are going to offer to buy the happy couple a drink at the bar. If as you're saying your friends are working horrendous hours just to have a big wedding, them perhaps they need to rethink the wedding.

    Surely no wedding is worth spending all hours working for just so your guests can have a lovely time? I know there have been thread on here before about people having a wedding on a shoestring, and whilst perhaps your friends don't want that, and I'm sure they will need a break after the wedding, a wedding is just a personal thing between two people. I just object to being presented with a list from which i'm supposed to buy something from, but I'm saddened that your friends feel that they have to provide a massive party and have to work long hours to provide that, on the off-chance that guests might pay for them to have a holiday - I've been with my partner for 13 years and if we ever decided to get married I wouldn't have a wedding list and would never dream of asking for money towards a honeymoon, that's something that's personal to us and that we should pay for ourselves!
  • SpendlessSpendless Forumite
    22K Posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
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    The problem I find with cash and vouchers too tbh, is if I am skint, with a gift there's always a chance I'll find it in a sale. I once bought a friend for her wedding gift one of the piggin ornaments she collects at a vastly reduced price. Also I feel you have to round the numbers up if it's cash or vouchers, I wouldn't give £17.50 for example but might be able to buy a prezzie for that. Like I say it depends on my own financial situation at the time.

    No problem with wedding pressie list though I'm not keen on the modern trend of sending it with the invite. Prefer it to be produced on request. I'd rather buy someone a tablecloth knowing what size they need and in what colour than guess.
  • BeclesBecles Forumite
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    We didn't put anything in with the invites.

    After pressure from guests, we did set up a list at Debenhams, and the two Mam's passed the details on to anyone who asked about it. This included various things - the cheapest being some mugs at around £3 each - so there was something for everyones budget!

    Other gifts were personal things people bought because we'd mentioned things without realising or they noticed a need for it in our home. Eg: my parents knew we hated the hall/stairs/landing (inherited 70's flower power theme!), so they paid for new paint, wallpaper and flooring as a wedding gift :D
    Here I go again on my own....
  • bloomin_freezin, have pm'd you the verse I put in my invites.

    HTH
    **Trying my best to be the best that I can**

    Cheese and Shoe Addict!
  • JustieJustie Forumite
    1.8K Posts
    Becles wrote:
    Eg: my parents knew we hated the hall/stairs/landing (inherited 70's flower power theme!), so they paid for new paint, wallpaper and flooring as a wedding gift :D
    That's a great present! :T
  • I am helping a very busy friend plan her wedding as i am a stay at home mum with lots of spare internet researching time on my hands! can any of you help by suggesting a polite way of asking for cash as wedding presents to put towards honeymoon rather than vouchers or gifts?


    We don't want you to give our present any thought whatsoever just hand over your dosh, please.
    Hit the snitch button!
    member #1 of the official warning clique.
    :D:j:D
    Feel the love baby!
  • I think there's a way of opening a donation account with the travel agent so people can deposit whatever amount they want & get to know that it's going to the honeymoon.

    I have to say the attitude of some people astounds me, when giving a gift I always want to give the recipient something they want or need rather than something I think they should have. I find that attitude very controlling and begrudging of the whole idea of giving a gift. I have no problem with people preferring money, rather that than a wasted gift, and I would give a small gift with it as a token.

    Saying that, I wouldn't put it into wedding stationary as a lot of older (or old farts at heart ;) ) people will get on their high horses about it. It's always best to get family/good friend to discreetly spread the word that money would be much more appropriate because couple can't afford and nice honeymoon/already have house kitted out etc and leave it up to the guests.

    In this day and age where a large number of couples already have homes it's redundant buying them stuff they already have/will stick in a box in the attic. The days of not leaving home til you're married are largely over and some people could do with moving with the times.
    The stupid things you do, you regret... if you have any sense, and if you don't regret them, maybe you're stupid. - Katharine Hepburn
  • Can be an awkward one! When we got married we never mentioned presents or a list, but everyone asked us what we wanted anyway! People will inevitably buy you something, so it might as well be something you want otherwise their money will be wasted. We had a list at a local china/glass shop and put down gifts in a wide range of prices. We collected some really beautiful pieces and were able to let people know that we had bought something that we would always treasure. We didn't need ephemeral things like toasters. Wedding lists were originally to give the bride and groom the basics to start married life but of course we all have those nowadays.

    I must admit I don't like stumping up cash - it's not personal and it embarrasses some people as they don't know how much is 'acceptable' or they can't afford a lot and think they'll look mean. Also the idea of people going off on a flash holiday at the guests' expense seems somehow wrong, but I'm probably out of touch.

    Also what's all this thing about giving an expensive present because the couple are spending money on an expensive wedding for the guests? You might as well sell tickets! Surely its more about wanting to have family and friends around you to celebrate your happy day. But then again I cannot see the point in spending thousands on a wedding for one day....

    The website seems the best idea, but perhaps wait until people ask what the couple are wanting before directing them to it!
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