throughtherain wrote: »
This is a great post. We are also trying to be frugal and become debt-free and I also am fed up of being labelled as 'tight' just because I wish to spend my money on different things, or don't wish to spend money in some cases. In particular when going out with work colleagues who are seemingly very well off, they think nothing of choosing expensive places to go, booking taxis etc that not only can I not afford, I don't want to spend my money on those things. I was actually out with work last week and a colleague's OH implied very directly that I was tight. I was so embarrassed, and could not believe anyone could be so insensitive, and this particular person has no idea about my financial situation and while I know nothing about hers, I get the impression she is very fortunate in financial terms.
The problem I have found is that people will not discuss money issues, even small ones, with the people in their lives, which is why I think so many people get into trouble with debt, and so many people make assumptions about others' wealth, when in actual fact, somebody who appears wealthy could have £50k of debt, while somebody who appears poor could have £50k in the bank.
Well done for sticking to your principles and for finding someone who agrees with them as your partner. Please don't wait to get married because you feel you have to have an expensive wedding (of course if you do want that that's fine, it's up to you!). My OH and I got married last year and it cost hardly anything in comparison to what you hear about. We had literally the day of our dreams (abroad) and it was not expensive. For us, like you have said, it was about BEING married, not GETTING married, and our day was perfect, even if we didn't spend a fortune on chair covers, a £1000 cake, an expensive dress for OH etc. Our guests all said how lovely it was. We were fortunate in that we wanted a small wedding abroad so we could get married outside in lovely weather, and we had a big party in the village hall when we got back for everyone, and this worked for us. However I know some people like the thought of everyone being at the actual wedding, in which case it will be more expensive. Whatever you decide, good luck!
quantic wrote: »
This sounds very similar to the kind of wedding we would like, something with our most intimate friends. Weddings throw up all kinds of politics...
You have hit the nail on the head with what you said about not spending money on things because you don't want to. Its almost as if people assume that if you don't want to do something its because you can't afford it. It seems like sometimes everything becomes a !!!!ing contest of who will just say yes to anything.
quantic wrote: »
Someone even said, your 20's is for having fun, and your 30's is for paying it back.
chickilegirl wrote: »
Stick to your guns and spend what you want and not what others xpect you to.
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