Embarrassing DLA Question... (Female question, but all welcome!)

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Disability Money Matters
25 replies 4K views
IsolusIsolus Forumite
39 Posts
edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Disability Money Matters
Hi all,

I can't believe i'm asking this..:o but here goes!

I suffer from severe M.E and i get high rate care and high rate mobility for it, because i'm bedbound. I'm 19 and live at home with parents who are my carers, familiar story to a lot of younger people with illnesses..

Anyway, the other day i had my first ever *ahem* female examination (at home) and the doctor asked me if i was sexually active. I said not recently but i was about 4 months ago. This has never been on my records before.. I know it sounds ridiculous, but if that goes on my notes could it affect my receiving high rate DLA in any way? Had she asked properly i could have elaborated with "once in a blue moon, ya know", its not like ive been swinging from the chandeliers meanwhile claiming disability:eek:;)

OK i feel ridiculous now. Feel free to laugh at me, but if anyone has any thoughts that'd be great xx
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Replies

  • A_Flock_Of_SheepA_Flock_Of_Sheep Forumite
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    Isolus wrote: »
    Hi all,

    I can't believe i'm asking this..:o but here goes!

    I suffer from severe M.E and i get high rate care and high rate mobility for it, because i'm bedbound. I'm 19 and live at home with parents who are my carers, familiar story to a lot of younger people with illnesses..

    Anyway, the other day i had my first ever *ahem* female examination (at home) and the doctor asked me if i was sexually active. I said not recently but i was about 4 months ago. This has never been on my records before.. I know it sounds ridiculous, but if that goes on my notes could it affect my receiving high rate DLA in any way? Had she asked properly i could have elaborated with "once in a blue moon, ya know", its not like ive been swinging from the chandeliers meanwhile claiming disability:eek:;)

    OK i feel ridiculous now. Feel free to laugh at me, but if anyone has any thoughts that'd be great xx

    I do not think you have anything to worry about too much. A lot genuine of people get paranoid while claiming DLA. Probably due to the papers containing stories of Football referees who are "virtually unable to walk".

    I am sorry to hear that you have ME and you are lucky to be getting DLA as it can be a struggle claiming for this horrible illness.
  • junojuno Forumite
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    Part of the Furniture
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    Disabled people are allowed lives! You probably spend a lot of time in bed, so it's not like you'd have to get up to do anything anyway ;) As long as your care and/or mobility needs haven't changed you're fine.

    Councils even pay for prostitutes for the disabled.
    Murphy's No More Pies Club #209

    Total debt [STRIKE]£4578.27[/STRIKE] £0.00 :j
    100% paid off :j

  • sunnyonesunnyone Forumite
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    I managed to get pregnant a few weeks (4-6) after a multi level spinal fushion when I also had a smashed pelvis at the time and my doctors all asked "how", I replied "the normal way" and left them trying to work out how, one even asked me again a decade later how I had concieved, I also know of someone who managed to do the same in a full body cast!

    I you feel up to it bonk away, it really good for pain relief, it helps your mental health and we are normal humans who try as hard as possible to have normal lives despite disability and it wont ever be reported when you renew your DLA because its not a mobility or care need and you wont be doing it when medical services come to visit.
  • Hello Isolus,

    Well done on posting about this situation.

    Hopefully no one is laughing at you. Although I did smile when I read sunnyone's reply: you wont be doing it when medical services come to visit.- I hope not !! :p

    I'm very confident you have nothing to worry about re: impact on your DLA. The only thing that does impact on DLA is if your care or mobility needs change. It is completely OK for someone on HRC and HRM to enjoy life as much as possible and that includes sex.

    take care and enjoy ;)
  • Careful_with_that_AxeCareful_with_that_Axe Forumite
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    Bless you. How paranoid do we all get when in receipt of DLA.

    I know how easy it is to worry about what is on our medical records when we feel that all and sundry Government Departments can poke around in them, but I suspect the reason the question was asked was more about birth control; whether you needed it or to give you an opportunity to bring up any questions you had about it.
    I must go, I have lives to ruin and hearts to break :D
    My attitude depends on my Latitude 49° 55' 0" N 6° 19' 60 W
  • snookeysnookey Forumite
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    Unless your swinging from the lights I dont think that they will look into your sex life ,lol.
  • edited 30 March 2011 at 6:57AM
    seven-day-weekendseven-day-weekend Forumite
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    edited 30 March 2011 at 6:57AM
    Also if you are sexually active you may have to have smear tests, that might be another reason he wanted to know.
    (AKA HRH_MUngo)
    Member #10 of £2 savers club
    Imagine someone holding forth on biology whose only knowledge of the subject is the Book of British Birds, and you have a rough idea of what it feels like to read Richard Dawkins on theology: Terry Eagleton
  • pwales_2pwales_2 Forumite
    523 Posts
    of course you can have a sex life:beer:
    im a para but i get viagra /cialis prescribed to me......its all on my records .......what other purpose would there be apart from sex to get these.....if they stopped any of my dla because i had sex it would be on news at ten i would go balistic :rotfl:
  • delaindelain Forumite
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    I agree, being on DLA doesn't mean you have to be celibate, like someone has said sex is good for your happiness and mental health anyway (unless it's rubbish :o)
    Mum of several with a twisted sense of humour and a laundry obsession :o:o
  • ChorlieChorlie Forumite
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    Stop worrying about it.

    I know people who are disabled in wheelchairs / electric wheelchair, married and are rightly on high rate DLA (both sides) and they do what most loving married couples do, granted might take a little more planning (no spur of the moment, bent over the kitchen table stuff...Sadly).
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