Problem with my DD's nursery, what do you think?

edited 30 November 2009 at 8:22PM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
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  • JanepigJanepig Forumite
    16.8K Posts
    andrealm wrote: »
    While I can appreciate that changing takes up time, what they are doing at the moment is taking her into the office where the teacher sits with her and waits until I arrive, it takes me 20 mins to get from home to the school, while it would only take a few minutes to change her.

    You see, I just fail to understand how, as a person, the teacher could spend 20 minutes away from the classroom sitting in a room with a 3 year old who has had a toilet accident without changing her, knowing also that they're dragging her parent 20 minutes down the road to the school. Way to get your DD off to a good start of enjoying school. And surely it would take less time to change her anyway - you could even leave some spare clothes yourself in a bag for her I would have though. Even when I was in school in the 70's/early 80's we had a spare clothes box for children who had toilet accidents and they were changed in school.

    Jxx
    And it looks like we made it once again
    Yes it looks like we made it to the end
  • pipkin71pipkin71 Forumite
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    Janepig wrote: »
    In fact, so nice were the spare trousers she had afew weeks ago after an accident, I kept them :o.

    :eek::eek::eek:

    You stole school property?

    :eek::eek::eek:





    :p
    There is something delicious about writing the first words of a story. You never quite know where they'll take you - Beatrix Potter
  • JanepigJanepig Forumite
    16.8K Posts
    pipkin71 wrote: »
    :eek::eek::eek:

    You stole school property?

    :eek::eek::eek:





    :p

    :whistle: shhhhhhh, you ain't seen me, right. :D

    Thing is, my two have always got to have trousers with adjustable waists which are not terribly comfy for the poor things, so when she came home wearing a pair that fitted on the waist and weren't adjustable, well, I wasn't going to give them back. I think I sent an old pair of hers in instead - I know I meant to anyway, just can't remember if I did, I've slept since then :D.

    Jxx
    And it looks like we made it once again
    Yes it looks like we made it to the end
  • Janepig wrote: »
    You see, I just fail to understand how, as a person, the teacher could spend 20 minutes away from the classroom sitting in a room with a 3 year old who has had a toilet accident without changing her, knowing also that they're dragging her parent 20 minutes down the road to the school. Way to get your DD off to a good start of enjoying school. And surely it would take less time to change her anyway - you could even leave some spare clothes yourself in a bag for her I would have though. Even when I was in school in the 70's/early 80's we had a spare clothes box for children who had toilet accidents and they were changed in school.

    Jxx

    Well that's it exactly, it would take less time to change her than to wait for me to come in from home. So far we've been lucky as it's mostly been just before the end when I've been on my way anyway or DH has been there and drove round but it just doesn't make since for them to sit there for 20 mins waiting.
  • Meeps, how long did it take from you son started on Movicol before he got into a regular pattern?
  • carolinosouruscarolinosourus Forumite
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    Sorry to hear about the nursery not being supportive. You say it often happens around the end of the day? Is there a general time when the accidents happen? If there is, maybe you could get the staff to set an alarm and so could subtly remind her that she might want to go for a 'try'? Also is she holding it in because it's painful? Could it be a little bit psychological? All this negative attention over MY toileting habits/abilities, I don't think I'd be happy about going either! (Just my theory, waiting to be shot down!)

    But if there's a product that would suit her better then definitely push (bah-dum-bum-shish!) for that. Is movicol more expensive? That could be why it's the last thing prescribed.

    And as for going to nursery, as someone commented, it's very helpful for young children to have a good level of social interaction, it teaches them sharing, empathy and sympathy, verbal skills etc etc and generally makes the step up to school much easier.
    :D**Thanks to everyone on here for hints, tips and advice!**:D
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  • LJMLJM Forumite
    4.5K Posts
    the idea of setting alarm is good if school know what kind of time she does a poo surely it would be easier to sit her on toilet rather than all the fuss they are making of her actually pooing herself. my youngest had terrible trouble with her belly a while back and often had accidents because she couldnt control it all i was told was the time of accident how many if there were more and to just make sure she had a lot of spare clothes in a bag on her peg. after a few rushed hospital trips my little one was prescribed movicol which she had an allergic reaction to and swelled up like the michilen man very scary for her and us as we could have lost her, this is rare though or so i was told by the doctors
    :xmastree:Is loving life right now,yes I am a soppy fool who believes in the simple things in life :xmastree:
  • saveallmymoneysaveallmymoney Forumite
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    another vote here for Movicol, excellent stuff compared to other products and you can gradually reduce how much powder you use until they are totally off it.
  • I think you need to maake it clear to the school that her accidents are the result of a physical medical problem and that she is under the doctor and receiving medication.

    I can imagine that they probably think that you have just been rubbish at toilet training and are responding accordingly whereas if they realised the true situation they might be more understanding.

    They probably also need to realise that she probably has the protection of the disability discrimination act.
  • Jojo_the_TightfistedJojo_the_Tightfisted Forumite
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    DDs' school built a shower room in their nursery. They were fully aware that nursery squeakers, especially the smaller ones, can have problems with toileting. A major accident would result in the child being fully showered, dried and dressed in emergency clothing. No nonsense trying to get hold of parents and leaving the child suffering. The shower area also got used when water play or painting got a little out of hand.

    I don't like the phrase toilet training, because you can't train someone or something without the physical ability already there - some children just do not have the physical development until later (as quite a few men, in particular, can recall where staying dry at night was concerned)

    Everyone provided a set of undies and socks for the inevitable accidents.

    Seems like, for all their faults, DDs' primary school had a far more sensible approach, recognising that some of these children were just 3 when starting school (even before preemies' come into the equation).
    I could dream to wide extremes, I could do or die: I could yawn and be withdrawn and watch the world go by.
    colinw wrote: »
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