Problem with my DD's nursery, what do you think?

edited 30 November 2009 at 9:22PM in Marriage, Relationships & Families
46 replies 5.1K views


  • Hi my Son now 4 suffered from crhonic constipation due to having a slow transit bowel. Lactulose was prescribed and did nothing, at the age of 9 months he had to go under a consultant at the hospital to enable him to be prescribed Movicol as it was not liscensed for children under the age of 2 unless prescribed by a paeditrition (sp). We have not looked back and at the age of 3 1/2 we were ab;le to wean him off it. Maybe enquire about being able to use this.

    On the Nursery side, as others have said schools cannot discriminate against children who are not toilet trained. I would raise this with the foundation stage leader, if you are not happy with the reply go to the head, if not happy with that reply then contact the early years advisory team in your area and ask them for advise.

    choccy x
    'we don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing'

  • For all the rights and wrongs here I just can't help but feel sorry for the little child that is being caught in the middle, her toileting habits are being made to be a drama and it must already be a stressful thing for her. I dont care if the parents have to work etc, I just feel sorry for the child, I know this isnt helpful but its what I think. What a world we live in.........................
  • ShelldeanShelldean Forumite
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    Interesting that it's not legal because i was quoted the same thing. Although it was quite a few yrs ago, DS is now 14 so was 10 yrs ago. He was four, and had a medical condition, that mean he didn't feel himself soiling. School agreed to change him if he wet but not soiled, they refused to let him wear anything but pants as well. Luckly it didn't happen very often. DS still very very occassionally has accidents.

    I just hope you can reach a solution that is suitable for both parties, as it certainly needs to be resolved.
  • mrcowmrcow Forumite
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    She's only 2.5. Why is she at nursery? Is it becasue you work.

    Personally I'd take her out and wait until she was fully ready. Obviously if you both work then perhaps that's not possible. But there is no way I'd be sending my daughter there unless I 100% had to.

    If you do need to send send her to nursery because you both work at the same time, then have a look for a more suitable nursery who will treat her with care.
    "One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
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  • edited 30 November 2009 at 9:20PM
    snapping_crocodilesnapping_crocodile Forumite
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    edited 30 November 2009 at 9:20PM
    andrealm wrote: »
    SC, she was on Lactulose which we gave her every day but it wasn't really helping, so now she's on sodium picosulfate which is a bit stronger so the doctor said it was probably better to give it every 2 or 3 days, as every day woud probably be too much.

    Fair enough...picosulphate is quite strong, especially for a little one does tend to give a rather explosive result!! I also have to agree with choccymoose, as in my experience movicol works incredibly well. It can be given in a fairly large dose initially to clear any backlog (ahem!) and then be given at a smaller dose, probably one sachet, at her age, per day to maintain a soft consistency in the stools
  • andrealmandrealm Forumite
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    Sorry, have edited now she's 3.5 , not 2.5. It's a school nursery, she goes for 2.5 hours a day. She loves going and would be very upset if she couldn't go. If she didn't like it or wasn't bothered about going I would take her out.

    Choccy, I've heard a lot of good things about Movicol and have been thinking of asking if she can have it.

    SC, it does have an explosive effect and gives her a very sore tummy, I do think she might be better off on Movicol, not sure why this seems to be the last thing doctors suggest.

    cte, I'm glad your son's nursery have been more supportive. We've a meeting with the Head on Friday so I will be printing out stuff from the internet to show him.
  • If your daughter has a true medical problem, then she needs a statement to this effect. It's a long, drawn-out process, but depends on the medical investigations your daughter has undergone i.e. WHY is she constipated, and can this be put down to a medical condition requiring treatment? I suspect the nursery don't see her problem as a medical one, but rather, a social one, and are judging you in the same way they do the many parents who simply don't bother to train their children.

    You need a proper, sit-down meeting with the nursery. You need a letter from your GP explaining the medical root of her incontinence, and you need to be assertive in pointing out that your daughter is very close to being discriminated against by the nursery as this is not a case of you failing in your parental duties, but a true, medical issue.

    There are issues with teachers changing kids. At my school, we do not allow an adult to change a child alone, and so it requires two adults to leave their duties (usually assistants rather than teachers, but this is still a huge amount of man hours being used for the purpose of changing, and that is why schools/nurseries are often very unhappy about taking kids who have a degree of incontinence).
  • JanepigJanepig Forumite
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    Really, as the children (all of them, not just your DD) are so young, the school should be prepared to accept that they'll have accidents and not make such a fuss. DS is 3 and is full time in school (because his school take them to the nursery full time at that age) and although (touch wood) he hasn't had any accidents, it's not a rare occurrence and they have spare clothes and plenty of NNEB/LSA's on hand to help change the children, and you're told about it and given the dirty clothes when you pick them up. Actually I may be wrong, I think he has had one accident, hmmm not sure now :rolleyes:.

    DD is 6 and is in year 2 and still has the odd "accident". Again, no fuss is made and spare clothes are used. In fact, so nice were the spare trousers she had afew weeks ago after an accident, I kept them :o. It's a large school with not an awful lot of toilets and she's had accidents when there's been a huge queue and she hasn't been able to hold it in. She also had to be changed about a fornight ago because she fell in a puddle :rolleyes:. She doesn't have any learning or physical disabilites, she's just a "normal" child who has "normal" accidents and I know from her that she's not the only one. So it makes me really cross when I hear of other schools who make such a big deal out of it. It's embarassing enough for the children without their teachers making a fuss too.

    And it looks like we made it once again
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  • millie bear, we are in the process of getting a letter from the doctor, at the school's suggestion. They say they can apply to the Board for an assistant, however I can't see that the Board would agree to this as she may only need changed once or twice a week, which does not take up a huge amount of time.
    Our HV is also helpful and is trying to get us a hospital referral as soon as possible for her constipation and is going to write to the school to ask for their support.

    While I can appreciate that changing takes up time, what they are doing at the moment is taking her into the office where the teacher sits with her and waits until I arrive, it takes me 20 mins to get from home to the school, while it would only take a few minutes to change her.
  • PaparikaPaparika Forumite
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    What about giving her sugar free polo's, well known for their 'loosening' powers
    Life is about give and take, if you can't give why should you take?
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