'Do old dating traditions still apply?' poll discussion

edited 1 June 2009 at 1:28PM in Money Saving Polls
66 replies 8.4K views
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  • ecoeco Forumite
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    I'm 36, and been on a few dates in the last year, and the lads I've been on dates with have looked at me strangely when I've offered to buy them a drink, it's like I'm trying to undermine them or something, it's difficult these days cos no one knows if they should let the guy pay or offer to go halves, and I see nothing wrong with buying a drink or drinks as a thank you.
  • MozetteMozette Forumite
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    If I ask someone out I'd expect to pay, if I was asked out I'd kind of expect them to pay but wouldn't have a problem with going halves, as you never know someone else's financial circumstances.

    Anyone who produced a calculator to work out 'their share' wouldn't get a 2nd date!!!! Skint is unfortunate, tight is unforgivable!
  • Gavin83Gavin83 Forumite
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    Some women on this thread really seem to be full of themselves. How can you think the man should pay for the pleasure of your company, what about the pleasure of the mans company for you? The money really shouldn't be an issue, it should be about 2 people (hopefully) enjoying spending time together and hopefully moving on from that.

    There does seem to be a bit of an age divide with this, with older people believing the man should pay and younger people seeing it as 50:50. Maybe thats to do with the recent equality views and the fact that wages are fairly equal between the sexes now compared to 15-20 years ago.

    I find it hard to expect the man to pay even if the woman asks him out, unless people believe that the woman shouldn't have to do the asking out.

    I earn a reasonable wage and therefore if I asked a woman out on a date I'd certainly offer to pay it all on the first date but I'd at least expect the woman to offer 50:50. If she didn't even bother bringing a bag and purse with her I very much doubt I'd bother seeing her again as that just smacks of greed in my eyes.

    Im in a happy long term relationship so none of this really applies to me but we nearly always split the bill 50:50 now and always have done. We normally only treat each other on birthdays, etc.
  • ipod_killed_the_musicshopipod_killed_the_musicshop Forumite
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    Mrs E many people see refusing an offer as an insult. As for lady in their life, you mean when they're together beyond the 1st date? Once the getting together is done with the couple are back in the real world. There's a recession on, people can lose their jobs etc. If I bought something expensive for my wife, even when we were just bf and gf, she'd have said "what the hell are you doing? That's our money you've wasted, we might have needed that". We've survived some tough times on the financial front because we've not been spendaholics, we've had money in the bank and we've had plenty of rainy days, metaphorically as well as literally. Also wanting someone to pay for you can be seen as a sign of financial irresponsibility, not to mention wanting to kid the man you're interested in him when as far as he's concerned, you're not.
    Boris Johnson voted against Brexit in the Commons, all to become leader of the Conservative Party. Fall for it and you deserve everything you get.
  • MrsE_2MrsE_2
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    Mrs E many people see refusing an offer as an insult. As for lady in their life, you mean when they're together beyond the 1st date? Once the getting together is done with the couple are back in the real world. There's a recession on, people can lose their jobs etc. If I bought something expensive for my wife, even when we were just bf and gf, she'd have said "what the hell are you doing? That's our money you've wasted, we might have needed that". We've survived some tough times on the financial front because we've not been spendaholics, we've had money in the bank and we've had plenty of rainy days, metaphorically as well as literally. Also wanting someone to pay for you can be seen as a sign of financial irresponsibility, not to mention wanting to kid the man you're interested in him when as far as he's concerned, you're not.

    I'm talking about the wining & dining out to impress stage, before it becomes a relationship.
    If a man doesn't want to impress then, its a bad omen;)
    Of course things change if you become a partnership & you share all.
  • PixulatedPixulated Forumite
    57 Posts
    Always the man The man (I'm male) - 22% (1996 votes)
  • After reading this poll, it is so clear that women are a bunch of hypocrites. What happened to gender equality? It seems like women want gender equality when it suits them and not when it doesn't suit them. This is a complete double standard.
  • Gavin83Gavin83 Forumite
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    MrsE wrote: »
    I'm talking about the wining & dining out to impress stage, before it becomes a relationship.
    If a man doesn't want to impress then, its a bad omen;)
    Of course things change if you become a partnership & you share all.

    Why shouldn't a woman want to impress too? Why should a man have to impress a woman purely by what he has in his wallet? You really aren't doing the image of women as gold diggers any good at all.

    It seems like your of the impression that it's the mans job to impress the woman and the man should be thankful she's even agreed to a date. It's just a bit of an arrogant viewpoint. Both people should be making a good impression with their personality and money shouldn't even factor into the equation.
  • CCStarCCStar Forumite
    6.7K Posts
    When there is a truly equal world where there is good affordable childcare, equal opportunities for any age or sex, and a true equality of pay, I think it should be split 50/50

    The UK has come a long way over the years in these areas and better than many other places in the world.

    Till then, men should pay for the first date, but I do offer to pay for my share of the bill or a proportion, such as paying for the drinks with the meal.
    An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :o :rotfl: :rotfl: :p :eek::mad: :beer:
    I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.
  • CCStarCCStar Forumite
    6.7K Posts
    xen wrote: »
    hopefully the male should ask the female out so he should pay, most of the time men earn more than women anyway, I'm not a goldigger maybe a bit old fashioned, I see it this way if I paid for a babysitter bought a new outfit and got my nails and hair done to go out then the man should pay,
    Yes, it costs a lot to look good for the occasion and get babysitting to go out.
    An average day in my life:hello: :eek::mad: :coffee::coffee::coffee::T :o :rotfl: :rotfl: :p :eek::mad: :beer:
    I am no expert in property but have lived in many types of homes, in many locations and can only talk from experience.
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