'Do old dating traditions still apply?' poll discussion

edited 1 June 2009 at 1:28PM in Money Saving Polls
66 replies 8.4K views


  • BatchyBatchy Forumite
    1.6K Posts
    I think the Host/ Inviter should pay!

    If you are broke and havent any money this shouldn't stop you accepting an invitation to dine.
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  • nizza212nizza212 Forumite
    10 Posts
    There's something ingrained in me that the man should pay on the first date. Call it chivalry, old fashioned...I've been brought up to think its the right thing to do. I'd never let a woman pay on the first date. If things move on then things can change...
  • reddevilledreddevilled Forumite
    426 Posts
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    nizza212 wrote: »
    There's something ingrained in me that the man should pay on the first date. Call it chivalry, old fashioned...I've been brought up to think its the right thing to do. I'd never let a woman pay on the first date. If things move on then things can change...

    I'm with you on that one. I would always expect the woman to offer to pay half but would refuse and pay the lot
  • freyasmumfreyasmum Forumite
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    I think the host/inviter should probably pay for the meal, but the other person should definitely at least offer and then pay for drinks if it develops further.
    I personally enjoy the act of giving and in such a context I would feel unfortable if my guest insisted on paying unless she was a already a regular date. On the other hand I would regard it as good manners after a meal if we went to a bar afterwards that they bought the first round.
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  • I've never asked a man out (well, I have, but the less said about him the better!), but would be prepared to pay if I did. If a man ever asks me out again (I live in hope) then I would expect him to pay but I would ALWAYS offer to pay my share. To date, this has been accepted only once, every other time the man insisted and I graciously accepted and thanked them. I then offered to pay for any drinks afterwards, but this was often refused too.

    After that it depends, with my last serious boyfriend we took it in turns, but the previous guy earned twice my salary and paid two out of three times on average.
  • rag31rag31 Forumite
    198 Posts
    I opted for O but haven't dated for a long time. Now we never go out and struggle to pay for anything, but that's marriage and kids for you :-)
    Mum of 4 lovely children
  • xen_2xen_2 Forumite
    1 Post
    hopefully the male should ask the female out so he should pay, most of the time men earn more than women anyway, I'm not a goldigger maybe a bit old fashioned, I see it this way if I paid for a babysitter bought a new outfit and got my nails and hair done to go out then the man should pay,
  • MrsE_2MrsE_2
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    ceridwen wrote: »
    I'm not in my "dating days" any more.....but - when I was:

    Well....I wonder if that makes me "old-fashioned" - as I take it as read that if a man asks me out for a meal - then thats EXACTLY what hes done - ie he is the host and I am the invited guest - he pays.

    Being fairminded - I take it that its my part to show him a bit of homecooking (instead of the usual microwave meals the average man seems to live on) and invite him back at some point for a homecooked meal - at which I am the hostess and he is the invited guest - so obviously he doesnt pay towards it (I accept any bottle of wine he proffers as a share of it - and we drink that with the meal - but I dont expect that even and have bought in the wine myself).

    I'm 41, most of the time I assumed/allowed men to pick up the tab.
    In fact I often offered & if they accepted, I never saw them again;):rotfl:

    I was out on a date once with a boyfriend & bumped into my cousin who asked me for some change for the cigarette machine, I said I didn't bring my purse/bag, she thought that really odd:o:o

    If I was taking my DH out for his birthday or something, then I would probably pay.

    And as far as I was concerned the food & drink & anything else bought the pleasure of my company & did not mean I owed them anything at the end of the night either:rolleyes:

    I'm not mean, but normal men desire to treat the lady in their life & if they don't they are not nice guys.

    As for can they afford it, I never dated a man on the dole:D
  • MrsE_2MrsE_2
    24.2K Posts
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    hieveryone wrote: »
    A friend of mine went on a date and they got a taxi home (two addresses). When they got to hers, he looked at the meter and told her 'that'll cover you to here' :o She was not best pleased and did not call him again! lol

    Am I being dense?
    I don't get that.

    Nice men I've been out with if they got me a cab they paid the driver.
  • sharnadsharnad Forumite
    9.9K Posts
    Well I have been with my fiance for years so we both chip in though he did take me out for a really nice meal the other day and paid for the lunch
    If I was dating someone casually then the man would pay
    Needing to lose weight start date 26 December 2011 current loss 60 pound Down. Lots more to go to get into my size 6 jeans
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