List Of The Dead And Their True Csa Hell

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Child Support
59 replies 25.8K views
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  • hera123 wrote: »
    Well done you!:T , I'm sorry if you have any negative feedback on the truth. Seems to me there are sadly a great deal of very bitter individuals out there, funny how they seem to be the ones most upset by your thread. As someone who is training in counselling, I can certainly see the possible damage this must cause their children in the bitter and angry remarks made in certain stories. This can be anything from the ex having a new partner on the scene, to other children being supported, or a former ex going on to have a child with someone else . Then it becomes more than about money and general care for the child or children, it becomes a "war" and the children the victims. The awful cost of the CSA being brought to our attention, by great reminder of what really goes on out there. In fact I feel ashamed to be female, because some of these men don't deserve it..

    That's very interesting. When i studied counselling, the first fundamental lesson was not to form assumptions.
  • ukdickie31ukdickie31 Forumite
    522 Posts
    Will the same headlines, counts etc be made when the following happen ?

    Bank / Building society reposessed my house - someone commits suicide

    Relationship breaks down - someone commits suicide

    Someone with lots of debts commits suicide

    I am sure these happen day in and day out but they don't seen to have the same emotive impact of blaming a gov't dept.

    I remember one case where the CSA were blamed in the press for a suicide. The press failed however to fully report the other factors, house reposession, gambling debts etc etc simply because they didn't make the story as emotive.
  • hera123hera123 Forumite
    22 Posts
    Zara33 wrote: »
    Truth :eek: you think that some tabolid trash prints the truth. These people had issues before the CSA got involved just like the OP has issues.
    Its "Tabloid" by the way, I suppose those individuals names are just made up are they?:cool: . Even if these individuals did have issues before, its called being human.
  • hera123 wrote: »
    Its "Tabloid" by the way, I suppose those individuals names are just made up are they?:cool: . Even if these individuals did have issues before, its called being human.
    o0o0o0 the spelling police :rolleyes: and i guess all the children they left behind meant diddly squid then!
    Hit the snitch button!
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  • Loopy_GirlLoopy_Girl Forumite
    4.4K Posts
    Very odd but the word 'arrears' kept jumping out to me and 'pay up or else' letters. Perhaps if these NRP's paid in the first place, didn't build up arrears and kept the CSA informed of changes in circumstances then they wouldn't get themselves in such a way they felt suicide was the only option.

    Nice of them to leave their children fatherless though eh? Funny as a parent, it is always my child that comes first in my life - not me.

    And here was me thinking Jacqueline that you were posting reasonably the past few days...telly crap tonight is it?
  • hera123hera123 Forumite
    22 Posts
    Zara33 wrote: »
    o0o0o0 the spelling police :rolleyes: and i guess all the children they left behind meant diddly squid then!
    Oh dear, lots of anger going on there it seems!, individuals who are driven over the edge don't stop to consider who they leave behind. It's called being ill and needing help..
  • Loopy_GirlLoopy_Girl Forumite
    4.4K Posts
    No, it's called being selfish. When you are a parent your nurture your child that you decided to bring into the world and you don't bail out when the going gets tough and you think you will never get out of a situation.
  • bravobeastiebravobeastie Forumite
    1.9K Posts
    ✭✭✭
    I don't understand though why the fathers had to murder the mothers of the children??? If they're going to kill themselves, well, get on with it i guess but what did they stand to gain from taking away their childs mother too?

    I must admit i don't have one good word to say for the csa as all they ever did was cause me untold worry and upset, but when they upped my ex partners money up to £90 a week.....for 1 child, thats when i stepped in and called it a day with them.
  • magicgirlmagicgirl Forumite
    597 Posts
    ✭✭
    I think the CSA are a waste of space anyway and have avoided them like the plague. When i took a year off work, I declaared all the money that my ex was giving me and they took all this off my benefit. i didnt mind this although did query the fact that i was under the impression that i would get £10 to keep from the benefits. apparantly, you only get this extra if you make the claim direct thru them - despite the excess admin costs they face by doing it this way. if you save them money by having your own arrangement, you get nothing extra. as it goes, it didn;t make much diference to me as the ex often had the ids and we had worked out the maintenence on what would have been asked anyway but was more amicable doing it ourselves. just befor ei went back to work, i was getting the most disgusting letters from CSA saying that i HAD to provide details of the childrens fathe etc.. i reminded them that i had an arrangement for the last nine months and that i didn;t want them involved but they insisted that despite this prior arrangement, they still wanted to do their own assessment or else they would cut my benefit by 25% . TBH, I had to laugh - all they were giving me was £5/week. like i would seriously miss any of that?? I only claimed to keep an audit of my employmenthistory (or lack ofit) due to having kids.. all a bit of a joke if you ask me. I do think that absent parents get the raw deal.. the sooner thy bring the changes in the better - as long as they keep an eye nad make sure the agency is finally fit for purpose!!
    Proud to be Member of BSC #92
    Hoping to get debt free again :wall:
    :heart2: working hard to make my daughters proud :heart2:
  • Loopy_Girl wrote: »
    No, it's called being selfish. When you are a parent your nurture your child that you decided to bring into the world and you don't bail out when the going gets tough and you think you will never get out of a situation.


    Spot on!! But if you're selfish enough to want to not pay for the upkeep of your kids, then you're also selfish enough to commit suicide and leave your friends and family grieving.

    There must be a lot of other things going on in someones life for them to end it - but the tabloids think the CSA part makes more interesting reading.
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