How to have a baby without making debt?

missbee

Hi, I am sure I am not alone with my queries but I have searched other posts and can't quite find one that matches my situation so any advice would be appreciated!

I am what I would class a rational, sensible, hard-worker (ish!) who can not see when I will ever be able to afford a baby but would really like to become a mum! Abaout me: I am 32 - I know this is not over-the-hill baby wise (my Mum had my sister aged 39) but the fact is that as a woman approaches 35 the chances of conceiving and complications are increased. I know you can get pregant straight away, but a few friends of mine took years to get pregnant -so this would make me nearer the 35 age mark. I am married and we have been together for 10 years. We have a good joint income - just under 53K - I am the greater earner at 31K. My husband has tried to get a better paid job for a while and while his wage has increased over the years I can't see how he will ever earn as much as me). Although we have a good income we have always lived to - and slightly beyond by doing lots of DIY- our means. We have a large mortgage and our monthly outgoings in mortage and BASICS before food is £1900. We have no savings.
In a nutshell my problem is this: When I am on maternity leave by income would drop by about 1300 each month - ouch we will have enough money for mortage, council tax, water, etc but NOTHING else. I would plan to go back to work but I also would want to enjoy a child - otherwise what is the point!! But each month I am off I have worked out that by being miserly we would still be short of about £500 - so over 9 months ish this is about £4-£5 K worth of debt - WHERE WOULD THIS COME FROM??!!

We have tried saving to cover the shortfall each month but find it impossible with our large mortgage and there is always something - e.g. a broken boiler!. Selling the house is not an option - I am too old to rent - we live in an expensive area of the countrt unfortunately and have only just moved out of 'red-light' district (!) two years ago and DO NOT wish to return! I realise this post has been really dominated by finances but at the heart of all this is I really want to be able to come off the pill and have a baby. My husband is evn more rational than me and although he wants one too he says we can't afford it. 'People' say - You just manage and there's never a right time - but HOW can I manage?????? Have I really got tho wait another few years and then run higher risks? Any help appreciated!

RoxieW

Hi hon - this is a problem that i really sympathise with.

Although it didnt seem it at the time, I count the fact that I got pregnant while hubby and I were at Uni and didnt have 2 beans to rub together as a big big blessing,as we had nothing to start with. We started off in a tiny, rented place and never went anywhere/spent money on anything. Since then, hubby is fully qualified and we've gone from strength to strength financially. I've stayed at home for the most part - ds2 will be starting school in Jan.
We recently were looking at bigger houses, but realised that its either bigger house or another baby. So we're staying put for a while.
This seems to be the catch 22 situation that alot of my friends are finding themselves in at the moment. They've committed to a house/lifestyle that relies on 2 wages and now they're quite stuck.
The obv suggestion is to move. I know you say its not an option- but could you not move to a cheaper area thats still commutable? Look into what you could get for your money - it could solve all your problems!
Secondly - you will get tax credits and child benefit. I'm not 100% but I think this will total around £200 a month for the first year of your babies life. Depending on your income you may be entitled to more - check the entitledto website.
The other option is for your hubby to get a better paid job or second job. Not ideal I know, but he could make a really big effort for the next few months to see if he can get a higher paid job.
You could go part time ie work 2/3 days a week - but then of course, you have to pay childcare. When I worked we found that we were no better off financially. You could work a few evenings a week or how about a work from home job that you could do when the baby is sleeping? Theres a thread on here somewhere about AQA which seems to work for many people. Failing that something like Ann Summers etc? I know you wouldnt be earning as much as you do now but with the tax credits/child ben it might make up the shortfall.

Perhaps you could do a budget and work out how much you should be able to put aside each month if you weren't spending on diy/holidays/going out or whatever it is that childless couples do (lol!). If you could save that amount for a year it might make things more feasible.

At the end of the day, it comes down to how much you want a baby right now. If you really really do then you can find ways around it. If it was me, I'd be tempted to move tbh - then you could enjoy your time at home with your baby without pressure to earn more/watch every penny.

Good luck

missbee

I already have to work really late in my job one-two nights a week - but I like your idea about extras could do on leave - I will look into that. Re house - I know this would be an option and some may judge me huge reluctance to move that I don't want a child enough- this is not the case at all. I feel that if I had to move back to less desirable area my husband (and me) might resent this and also in today's market houses are really not moving like they used to - we would also have to pay a large redeption charge as would reduce the mortgage - it's about 8k and runs for another 3 and a bit years. I honestly have considered this but we have tried so hard to get this house I don;t want to lose it now
Now ann Summers...I'm sure my husband would like that!!!