Money Moral Dilemma: Should I push my grandad to tip more when we go for dinner?

MSE_Sarah

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks…

Every couple of months my grandad and I go for dinner and split the bill, but he often leaves a tiny tip - or none - even when the food and service are good. I end up leaving more so the staff get a reasonable tip. I've mentioned it, as I know he can afford it, but he laughs it off or says he forgot. Should I push him to tip more, or accept it's his choice?

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soolin

My first thought was that I hope we aren't getting into the US habit of spending a lot more on a meal than we need to as we feel a tip is obligatory. By all means tip or don't tip, it isn't compulsory.

Brie

You might provide the tip if he's paying for the meal.

lincroft1710

His choice. Not everyone agrees with the tipping culture

flaneurs_lobster

If it's stressing the grandchild out, try to go to restaurants where service is included?

Ed264

If you're splitting the cost, as you say, just add 10% to the bill and ask him to pay 50% of the total. Sounds pretty straightforward to me.

MacMickster

This isn't a dilemma. You tip whatever you want to tip. Let your grandad do the same. Tipping isn't and shouldn't ever be compulsory, although it will always be appreciated.

PennysIntoPounds

You say you know he can afford it, but unless you're privy to everything that goes into and out of every one of his accounts, you can't be certain- maybe a gentle conversation, not on a dinner out evening, would give him opportunity to raise any worries or put his view across without him feeling like he's going to ruin a cherished night out with his granddaughter

At the end of the day though, it's up to him how much he leaves for tip, and it's up to you if you want to leave extra, it's just personal preference.

Equally he might think, as you do about him, that you can afford it- is it genuinely leaving you short to allocate that five or ten pounds approx six times a year? If not, just treat grandad to the tip part of the meal and you can feel comfortable knowing you've done what you feel is right by the staff and still having had precious time with each other while you can

Gadgetvixen

just enjoy the time with your Grandad. Pay a bigger tip yourself if you feel bad about it but it certainly isn’t something important enough to risk your relationship with him.

Superfi

This is entirely up to the individual as to how much if any, they leave as a tip for service. If you feel that the service deserves a tip, then leave one that you feel is appropriate. You may be dining with another but you are your own person, so make your own actions and own them, and appreciate and respect that that is probably what your grandfather is doing too. Push him to tip more, and you may be pushing a moral wedge between the two of you; is it really worth it, and how would you feel if someone challenged your trivial decisions? Just appreciate and enjoy the time you have with him; not everyone is so lucky.

Razzi16

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82099744#Comment_82099744

Tipping is not mandatory - this is still the UK, not the US, although people seem to be trying to make it more like the US every day.

Mandatory tipping is outrageous - tipping should be for EXCEPTIONAL service, not STANDARD service and given as a default.

The restaurant employees already get paid to do their job.

Why do taxi drivers get tips but bus drivers dont (most of the time)?

Why do peopel in restaurants expect tips but other food places dont (pubs, fast food etc).

They do the SAME amount of work.

Where I work the people in the despatch office used to get big crates of beer from suppliers at Christmas, people in Sales got wine/chocolates. People in my job (computer programming) NEVER got anything, but nobody should, we already get paid for doing our jobs, just like everybody else.