Money Moral Dilemma: Should my partner who lives in my house contribute to my mortgage?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks…

My partner’s lived with me in my house since 2018. She’s never paid me any ‘rent’, saying it’d be paying off my mortgage, so she’d want a share of the home. Yet she owns a buy-to-let and uses that rent to pay her mortgage. When I look at the numbers, she’s much better off and it feels unfair. We’ve a young son together and plan to marry, so we need to work this out.

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Woodstok2000

There are no right/wrong answers here as everything depends on your attitude to money, risk and long term planning.

Assuming just bundling all your assets together and sharing everything isn't an option, then it is a little unfair that your partner is getting free accommodation. You are essentially subsidising her mortgage indirectly at the moment, which is exactly the situation she has said is unfair.

Equally, as a couple if she is paying part of the mortgage (via rent) then she could reasonably expect to build up a share of the equity.

You could freeze your ownership stakes in each property now, and then agree to pool your mortgage payments and split future equity in each property equally. Or you could just ignore her BTL property and she pays half the mortgage and gains half the future equity...

elsien

If you want to share assets and liabilities in the longer term, then just get married. You are partners with a child, not landlord and lodger.

She does have a point at the moment that’s paying towards the mortgage would give her a beneficial interest in the property. So what are the long-term plans – sell both up and pool your resources?
How does the rest of your money work - do you both work, and how much do you each earn, who pays the bills and childcare costs - activities, clothes, et cetera- how will she pay for the property if she can’t pay the mortgage because she’s paying you rent, who does most of the childcare?

Way too many unknowns here to give any sort of sensible answer except to say for goodness sake to talk to each other. Do a joint budget. Take it from there.

Keep_pedalling

if you are willing to let the partner gain a beneficial interest in your home then by all means go ahead.once you are married all property will be marital property anyway.

JainEm

Yes you do need to work this out. It sounds like the subject has come up before, but not resolved satisfactorily, so maybe you need an independent financial advisor to look at the figures objectively. They won't make your final decision, but it might help.

razor1965

She should pay 50% of the interest, PLUS 50% of all bills.

No claim on equity in house

Southendormargate

Stay on your own. This relationship is going nowhere. Don't let her have any claim on your home.

hclayton25

My partner moved in with me last year. He pays half of all the bills - it comes to around 600 per month for him . Im more financially secure than him but I feel like it’s ok to ask for half the bills and in reality if he rented somewhere it would be lots more money. He is happy (as far as I know) with the arrangement, These decisions are never easy and it’s about finding something that feels fair to you both, My home is still my own - I think you perhaps need to treat the bills and the mortgage separately

GoldenLibra

So, effectively she has one house and you have another. It sounds as if yours is the better one because you have both chosen to live in your house as a family rather than in hers. I was in a similar position to your future wife a number of years ago, except my house was the one we chose to live in. You already have one child together and may well have at least one more in the future. Childcare costs in the UK are the highest in Europe and it may weil not be cost effective for her to carry on working in the future, at least while the children are young. Juggling work and being Mum to young children is far from easy. You, on the other hand, will continue working and building your career and will be well ahead of her if and when she returns to work at a later date. So, why cannot the rental income from her property be counted as her 'job', using her tax allowance and other available tax breaks. Just one point to bear in mind: I don't know how long the two of you have been living together but after two years, capital gains tax kicks in on any sale of the property you do not live in. One final point: Whoever heard of a wife paying 'rent' to her husband?

SStitanic

If once you are married you are both still living in the house that only you pay for, it will legally become her home, she will be entitled to stay there even if you break up. Maybe even to stay there and for you to have to move out, so her argument is not entirely valid, she is not paying off YOUR mortgage, once youre to her married she’ll have rights to that home, as you already have a child together she may even have rights to it now. So you might as well discuss right now putting her on the deed and sharing the cost of the mortgage and bills evenly. See how she reacts to that , she should if a decent person want to be decent about it. If she’s greedy you will soon find out. Or maybe you already have.

Nailer99

If you are ready to integrate your finances, don’t charge rent, but instead open a joint current account for the big life expenditures (including both mortgages) and both contribute it proportional to your income. It’s much fairer and what many long-term couples do.