Money Moral Dilemma: Should I contact my late husband's ex, who's a beneficiary on his pension?

CapeTown

the more I read about these things, the more I realise that you have to virtually have PhD in financial management to get through life. Direct debits, wills, pensions, tax etc. Thank goodness for MSE for at least trying to clarify

Cobbler_tone

We get bi-annual reminders to make sure that the EOW is up to date, so it must carry a lot of weight as opposed to a 'preference', although I got married just to make sure.

RoseyBlack

Hi

When you have a pension the pension company sends you an expression of wish form to name beneficiaries when you die. They make it very clear that if you don't your pension benefits could go to someone you don't intend it to. Your best course of action is to contact the pension company to reconsider citing that he had early onset dementia citing you can provide proof. If that doesn't work there's no point in contacting this ex girlfriend in my view. This happens to people all the time because they don't keep their details updated.

primrose_penguin

I am slightly unsure by the post, (which I seem to have read differently to everyone else), whether the small amount of money left by your husband went to his ex girlfriend or the pension, which you say you have claimed? To me it looks as if the money left went to the ex girlfriend not the pension, as you say 'the money went directly to her', not the pension went directly to her. I presume he made his will when he was with this lady and never changed it, in that case I doubt there is much you can do about it except be thankful it was not a large sum, which you could have used towards the mortgage etc. Hopefully you still have the pension, which will help, as they normally carry on being paid to the recipient weekly/monthly/yearly as they were to your busband. If I have read this wrong then I suggest you go and have a chat with Citizens Advice Bureau for advice.

P.S. Sorry just seen the headline before the post and it does state the pension, will teach me to read ALL of it properly before posting.

dunstonh

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82062434#Comment_82062434

In England and Wales, a will is revoked when you enter marriage or civil partnership.

Bostonerimus1

The discretion of UK pension trustees in all this is interesting to me as I live in the US and the situation is very different. Here a beneficiary designation on a financial account is binding and even overrides a will and avoids the funds going through probate. The transfer of funds to the beneficiary occurs at death.

Silvertabby

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82062507#Comment_82062507

Interesting. Here in the UK payments are made at the trustees discretion for very similar reasons - but primarily to exclude them for IHT purposes. Payments are made direct to the nominee ( or the person selected by the trustees) and aren't counted for IHT, probate, or used to pay estate debts.

From my LGPS days, most problems arose when the deceased hadn't completed a nomination form. If they were married, they it was easy - payment was made to the wife. But some were a right chew on, when several family members of roughly equal standing were all clamouring for a share.

Swipe

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/82061508#Comment_82061508

All of these Money Moral Dilemmas are made up and then posted on social media to encourage forum sign ups.

Pollycat

I'm just trying to imagine the reaction from the ex if/when the widow gets in touch with her about a relationship that ended almost 30 years ago...

Pollycat

Not all of them are.

I posted above:

I know that MSE ruthlessly edit MMDs (as one person popped up after pages and pages of disagreement to post the original submission which made the situation very clear cut) but in this case I don't think they've done the originator of this MMD any favours by not making this point clear.

I really don't understand what originators get out of sending in these MMDs as so much relevant information is stripped out that it's impossible to give useful advice.