Money Moral Dilemma: Is it fair to keep the loyalty points from doing my neighbour’s shopping?

RickyAH

Our daughter in law brings us 3x4pints of milk every week as we are physically disabled, and as she visits her parents nearby, she drops it off on her way there.

She probably gets the points, but hey, for the service who cares. I always pay by bacs, so I overpay to the whole pound anyway.

Don't confuse the old guy, just get his shopping and carry on as you are, job done.

highlander58

The title refers to “loyalty points” but the detail says smartphone app - so who knows? But given that the OP is worrying about a few “rewards” I think we can safely assume they are passing on the lower loyalty prices - if not the loyalty points. And if the OP often gets the neighbour’s shopping separately - the till receipt will show exactly how much they spent anyway.

At first glance, a separate shop for the neighbour may seem odd, but not when you consider the circumstances of shopping for an elderly person. An 82 yo will most likely want to think about what they need & then receive the goods during the day - not too early or late, which may well be the times the OP chooses to do their own big shop. So it makes perfect sense for OP to do their own shopping when it suits them - then get the neighbour’s shop, maybe unpack & stay for a chat too, as a separate exercise.

Plinth_2

I agree that it would be best to get a loyalty card for your neighbour. That you are voicing this as a dilemma suggests that you already know it isn't right to take the points from his shopping.

Be a thoroughly good helper and give him the advantages you enjoy, when you use your own card.

SadieO

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81988126#Comment_81988126

This is an odd take. If OP is morally wrong (I don't think they are) then deliberately telling the neighbour in a way they know won't be registered does not alleviate that in any way.

Nomadvagabond

don’t beat yourself up about it. You are doing his shopping out of a good heart and it doesn’t cost him anything. No reason you should not keep the bonus.

CCEE2026

All I'd say is be very, very careful. As someone who has worked with the elderly and completed shopping trips for them-it is, in the eyes of the law, a form of theft. I would explain what you have been doing, regardless of their understanding, and stop immediately. If you are finding yourself out of pocket then simply ask to be reimbursed. This is much better than simply taking what isn't yours. This person sounds like they're already a vulnerable adult and you are, to put it bluntly, taking advantage of their vulnerability unfortunately. You are obviously a king and generous person who is willling to help the needy but that does not constitute theft, even if it is just points…

highlander58

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81988807#Comment_81988807

Whoa! - that’s way too excessive a reaction to someone just doing a weekly shop for a neighbour! You’ll be saying they need DBS checks next!
There’s a world of difference between simply doing a bit of shopping for a neighbour vs organised shopping for the elderly via a charity or other service. The latter has to be scrupulously careful & above reproach - both for the safety of their staff/volunteers as well as the ‘vulnerable person’. Yours are the sort of unfounded allegations that can deter ordinary people from the perfectly natural desire to help those around them.

This elderly person doesn’t HAVE a loyalty card/app, so can’t get any rewards. The OP knows them (unlike you) & feels that trying to explain it all would likely cause more harm than good. So the elderly neighbour has lost nothing & no theft has occurred. Suggesting otherwise is perverse & damaging.

Faceuptoreality

Lets just look at it in a slightly different way.

Why don't you do the shopping for him and charge him the FULL price for all of the items keeping the club card discount for yourself. You can also take the benefit from the clubcard points.

In my eyes this is the same as your dilemma. Pointing out that you don't get anything from him for your time or fuel is a different problem. You can't simply offset his savings against your costs as there is no measure of either.

As others have said get him his own clubcard and always use it for his shopping. If you think that he should pay for vehicle running costs/ your time then identify this separately and charge him accordingly.

You know I'm right or you would not have posed the problem.

Golactico

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/81988964#Comment_81988964

So, what if the loyalty scheme is App only with no physical card (i.e. Asda)? With no smartphone, it would be impossible to give the old gent his own access to the loyalty scheme. Should the shopper insist that the old guy gets a smartphone? If explaining the loyalty scheme would cause unnecessary confusion, where would the OP start with explaining how to operate a smartphone?

Tim11111000111

On balance, you're definitely still doing a good thing - between the cost of petrol and simply the time you spend, your neighbour is definitely benefiting from your help, and the "profit" you make from the points is negligible in comparison. In addition, as others have said, the way most supermarkets offers work nowadays, the neighbour is almost certainly also saving (often significantly) as a result of the loyalty scheme, so it would be in no-one's interest if you simply stopped using your loyalty card.

That said, I am slightly uncomfortable that you are just making this decision unilaterally and think the neighbour wouldn't understand. Tesco introduced Clubcard over 30 years ago, so the concept of a loyalty scheme is hardly new!

So I would be inclined to say the best way forward is just to get this off your chest by asking him. Hopefully he recognizes and appreciates the help you provide, and is happy to give his blessing to your use of your own loyalty card, and so you can continue with a clear conscience. If not - at least you've got a straight answer, and if he really does begrudge you the few pennies you make each shop, you are of course entitled to reconsider whether he is deserving of your charity.