Dilemma - compensation from bank

2

Comments

  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 32,681 Forumite
    Name Dropper Photogenic First Anniversary First Post
    Bolt1234 said:
    I guess my point is if I had not made the claim no one else would have bothered or even been that interested.
    Do they have power-of-attorney or just you because if it’s only you they couldn’t have sorted it anyway.
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • Marcon
    Marcon Posts: 10,612 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Bolt1234 said:
    I guess my point is if I had not made the claim no one else would have bothered or even been that interested.
    That doesn't alter who 'owns' any compensation, or what you as POA are required to do with it, however unfair that must feel.
    Googling on your question might have been both quicker and easier, if you're only after simple facts rather than opinions!  
  • Marcon
    Marcon Posts: 10,612 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Bolt1234 said:
    Thanks all. It’s just that siblings do very little and leave it all to me.  They wouldn’t have bothered with any claims.  I asked one sibling to help out with a couple of issues (not about this claim) and they just left it, didn’t chase people or follow it through and I had to step in in the end and finish it off.

    Yes, have made it clear about what is happening and they say thanks and all that but I honestly don’t think they want to think too much about what a burden this all is.

    There's only one way to deal with that sort of attitude: you have to stop doing certain things and make it clear that you expect one of them (specify which one!) to carry out a particular action within a particular timeframe. The snag is how difficult it would be for you, both in practical and emotional terms, to take that line - and in reality if they don't live in the same country as their elderly mother, there may be limits on what they can physically do. Even so, if you can think of something viable, it might be worth a go?
    Googling on your question might have been both quicker and easier, if you're only after simple facts rather than opinions!  
  • Bolt1234
    Bolt1234 Posts: 264 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    Macron.  That is correct.  One parent passed away last year. L Other is still with us.
  • Thank you all once again.  I did give one sibling a couple of jobs.  They did neither of them properly and the consequences were mine.  Yes, I am the only POA.  They didn’t feel it practical for them to do it. They feasibly couldn’t go to banks, register POA, organise estate agents and take phone calls when viewings were required.  They couldnt be there to move parent after house was sold.  One uses Whats App but not always around and hasn’t worked for years.  I could of course leave it but the consequences of their inaction invariably led to parent being inconvenienced or at worse going into a mad panic.  Other is not with it re technology and doesn’t really bother overall 
  • SiliconChip
    SiliconChip Posts: 1,372 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper
    edited 23 December 2023 at 11:20PM
    While you've said "parent wouldn't have understood what was going on" does your mother actually still have capability and you're using POA to relieve her of things that would be a burden to her, or do you have to do them because she can't? If it's the former then you could consider having a discussion with her about altering her Will to leave you a greater share of her estate to reflect the greater level of care you've provided. If it's the latter then you can't now change the Will but you should just be willing to do what's best for her anyway, in this case by increasing the amount of money available to pay for her care if and when it's needed.
  • Marcon
    Marcon Posts: 10,612 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    While you've said "parent wouldn't have understood what was going on" does your mother actually still have capability and you're using POA to relieve her of things that would be a burden to her, or do you have to do them because she can't? If it's the former then you could consider having a discussion with her about altering her Will to leave you a greater share of her estate to reflect the greater level of care you've provided. If it's the latter then you can't now change the Will but you should just be willing to do what's best for her anyway, in this case by increasing the amount of money available to pay for her care if and when it's needed.
    If you go that route, make very sure your mother is seen by a solicitor without you present. There's no guarantee that would stop your siblings trying to claim you exerted undue influence, but it will reduce the chances of such a claim succeeding.

    If it's the latter then you can't now change the Will 
    Only the testator can change a will.
    Googling on your question might have been both quicker and easier, if you're only after simple facts rather than opinions!  
  • boingy
    boingy Posts: 1,330 Forumite
    First Post Name Dropper
    I agree with the other posters that the compensation must go into you parent's account. As POA you have no choice, however unfair that might seem.

    It's scant consolation, but in many families one of the kids ends up shouldering the lion's share of the burden when it comes to parental care and it can cause ongoing bitterness and resentment. Try not to let it consume you. You are doing a good thing. 

    I could tell you about the ongoing behaviour of my wife's siblings in a similar situation but the tale would be so long and convoluted it might break the Internet.
  • gwynlas
    gwynlas Posts: 1,692 Forumite
    First Post First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I am confused as I cannot see a question in what you are asking. You are the only sibling living here and have LPA for your mother. One of your siblings is in regular contact the othere isn't. Yes you might feel that you are more deserving of a larger portion of any future inheritance because of the responsibilitie you have taken n seeking compensation but it is not your siblings fault that they are not able to share this duty.You are not having to provide physical care for your mother as she is in a home.
  • JReacher1
    JReacher1 Posts: 4,652 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post I've been Money Tipped!
    Is your question basically can you keep the £15k and not tell anyone?

    the answer is of course no and it has to go into your parents bank account. If you don’t do this as some point when your parent does pass away (hopefully not for a while) you’ll have to explain how £15k from their bank account ended up in yours. Would suspect it probably breaks some law. 
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 343.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 250.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449.7K Spending & Discounts
  • 235.2K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 607.9K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 173K Life & Family
  • 247.8K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.9K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards