PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING

Hello Forumites! In order to help keep the Forum a useful, safe and friendly place for our users, discussions around non-MoneySaving matters are not permitted per the Forum rules. While we understand that mentioning house prices may sometimes be relevant to a user's specific MoneySaving situation, we ask that you please avoid veering into broad, general debates about the market, the economy and politics, as these can unfortunately lead to abusive or hateful behaviour. Threads that are found to have derailed into wider discussions may be removed. Users who repeatedly disregard this may have their Forum account banned. Please also avoid posting personally identifiable information, including links to your own online property listing which may reveal your address. Thank you for your understanding.

Council bungalow and small amount of equity

Hi...I am on a fixed flexi tenancy with the council in a 1 bed bungalow. I left an abusive relationship and was homeless for a while until I was offered this bungalow. My flexi term runs out September 2024. I had a call from my housing officer say that I have to contact my ex to arrange to sell the house he still lives in. If I don't contact him my tenancy will be revoked. I need to show them that I am actively trying to get him to sell and they might extend my flexi tenancy. I would only get around £27000 from the sale. I was really hoping to become a secure tenant,  I need the security of knowing I have a safe home. Contact with him would cause me lots of anxiety but they are not giving me any other option. I really don't know what to do. Any help/advise would be much appreciated 
«1

Comments

  • Brie
    Brie Posts: 9,214
    Photogenic First Post Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Forumite
    Is there someone who could contact him on your behalf?  If not a friend or family member perhaps a solicitor?  
    "Never retract, never explain, never apologise; get things done and let them howl.”
  • I can't afford a solicitor and I don't really want to involve my children. I will contact him though it won't be pleasant and I know he'll refuse to sell. Even if he was forced he would make it very difficult. I am very worried that even though my share would be a small amount the council would still make me give up my home. I feel I am being persecuted all over again. I really don't know what to do. I couldn't afford to private rent for long then I'm back to square one again when I was feeling settled where I am now. 
  • Brie
    Brie Posts: 9,214
    Photogenic First Post Name Dropper First Anniversary
    Forumite
    I suggest that you write to him (snail mail or email) and ask for his reply also in writing.  That way you have something to show the housing officer.  Should there be any phone calls record them if possible and keep those again as a record.  Should there be a phone call which evidences his abusive nature towards you that will be extra proof of why you shouldn't continue to contact him.

    Is there a local women's group or refuge that might be able to assist?  They may have access to some legal services that would assist for free.
    "Never retract, never explain, never apologise; get things done and let them howl.”
  • They are aware of the reason I left was because of his abuse so they know how difficult this will be. I was classed as priority need when I got my bungalow.  I had a visit from my housing officer when I had been here a year and she knows I have no contact with him. I just don't know what to do. I'd I lose my tenancy my only choice is to go back.
  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 32,438
    Name Dropper First Anniversary First Post
    Forumite
    Contact Women's Aid or Refuge and ask
    if they have access to legal support who can write to your ex,
    if they can help you access a proxy address which can be used for correspondence with the ex,
    and if they can write to your housing officer (preferably their manager) indicating that they are helping you.

    Being realistic, we get a lot of people who own houses with difficult (rather than necessarily abusive) exs and it often takes years to sort the situation.

    Do you own the house as a joint tenancy or as tenants in common? Do you have an up to date will?
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
  • You may not lose your new home if you get the money. They have to do things "by the book". At the moment, you effectively have your name on two homes. They can't allow that. If you take away your interest in your old home, you will only have one home (the council tenancy). That's what they want.

    That's my guess.
  • Brie said:
    I suggest that you write to him (snail mail or email) and ask for his reply also in writing.  That way you have something to show the housing officer.  Should there be any phone calls record them if possible and keep those again as a record.  Should there be a phone call which evidences his abusive nature towards you that will be extra proof of why you shouldn't continue to contact him.

    Is there a local women's group or refuge that might be able to assist?  They may have access to some legal services that would assist for free.
    Definitely try the charities for help first. They will put a barrier between you and him and they won't be bullied.

    If you do send snail mail, send it Signed For and with email, a tick for a Read Receipt.

    Fingers crossed for you.
  • Ras it's owned jointly...I'm going to try and set up a meeting with him at my daughters house. I know he will want my half of the 3yrs mortgage that he has paid since I left which would be around £10000 and £20000 in debts to be paid off. The house is worth around 140000 and we still owe 25000 on the mortgage so my share would be 57500 minus the 30000 above which would leave me 27500. He did offer me a settlement figure of 25000 when I first left. I maybe better accepting the settlement and being free from any communication and ties to the house. I'm not sure where that would leave me with my housing situation though. 
  • Yorkie1
    Yorkie1 Posts: 11,526
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Forumite
    I strongly suggest that you do speak to the charities mentioned above, rather than trying to do this all alone, if doing it alone is not what you'd prefer and will raise your anxiety.

    They may be able to be alongside you, at perhaps a neutral venue, so that you don't feel pressured into anything.

    Good luck.
  • Ras it's owned jointly...I'm going to try and set up a meeting with him at my daughters house. I know he will want my half of the 3yrs mortgage that he has paid since I left which would be around £10000 and £20000 in debts to be paid off. The house is worth around 140000 and we still owe 25000 on the mortgage so my share would be 57500 minus the 30000 above which would leave me 27500. He did offer me a settlement figure of 25000 when I first left. I maybe better accepting the settlement and being free from any communication and ties to the house. I'm not sure where that would leave me with my housing situation though. 
    If you share is 27.5k and he offered you 25.0k …. I would take it and move on. He can keep the house and you split ways in no time vs long back and forth over a potential sale.
Meet your Ambassadors

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 341.4K Banking & Borrowing
  • 249.6K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 449K Spending & Discounts
  • 233.7K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 605.8K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 172.3K Life & Family
  • 246.7K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 15.8K Discuss & Feedback
  • 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards