Advice on debt and spending
in Debt-free wannabe
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currently he pays half of all our joint bills and pays some
tiwards the twins food/clothing etc. then general expenses, nursery, food shop. I pay for.
You can get free, non-judgemental, friendly advice from the free debt help agencies - StepChange, National Debtline and Citizens Advice.
I'll put the link for StepChange because they helped me get out of debt. https://www.stepchange.org/
They will want to discuss your financial incomings and outgoings but you can just give them a rough idea if things are going to change. Even if your husband's circumstances are going to change, you are still actually having to live until February.
You say "I do have a large amount of debt . . . " - but isn't it a joint debt?
You are in quite a good position really - you have a husband to share your worries with - but it does seem from what you say that you are doing all the worrying. And you are both contributing to household expenses, with you having a good job and the opportunity to pick up more work as and when. But it's no good working yourself into the ground. You need support from your husband, it's not just your problem.
It might be a good idea for you to sit down together and discuss the things you've put on here in your original post. It doesn't seem as if you are communicating with each other but you have joint debts which need to be discussed.
I also do think that if you spoke to someone at StepChange - or one of the other agencies - you'd be able to get a better idea of what can be done so that you can both start living instead of working yourselves to the bone and missing out (as you say) on your children while they're young.
I can guarantee that if you make that free phone call and you are willing to accept some advice, your life will start improving. I know that from personal experience as some time ago, I was a single parent on a low income and at my wits' end and they helped me. I'm now debt free - I'm not going to say it was easy but it is achievable.
A free phone call, no-obligation, no judgement. You could at least try because you'd have nothing to lose. Except maybe half an hour.
Definitely worth doing the SOA now and again once he's back - hopefully it will only be relatively small tweaks when he's back as the income/main bills aren't going to change a great deal I assume? The SOA *should* reflect how things are right now anyway - so actually this is the right way to do it. It'll certainly tell you a lot about how accurate your perception of spending is anyway - and as a first step that's perhaps the most important one for you.
I won't bore you with a long post.
Congrats as you have started your journey on being in control of your spending by posting this thread. You have recognised the problem and want it to stop and I'm sure, in time, you will be better off financially.
Finally, almost every spend is agreed with my OH and two minds are better than one, IMHO
This way you can face up to what the figures actually say and make a budget (before the beginning of each month) of what money goes well including into sinking funds so the annual bills such as insurance or a holiday dont sink your budget.
The show is addictive watching (but free and great learning) She makes them go on a strict cash budget - you may not need that but a tight pre done budget every month where if you oversepnd on one category means you have to take from another pot really helps.
Having budgets and joining things like the monthly Grocery Challenge on here is really helpful as well as it makes you track your spending. The months I do the grocery challenge I definitely spend less.
Per month - Feb 23
Track my NSD's - Target 16 days 1/16 so far
Track my Grocery spending in GC thread £22.98/£145 and £0/30 bulk
Track what I save in my hse deposit and SIPP in my signature Hse £0 Sipp £200
Track extra income from ebay etc £0
Track Minimalist game 1/31
Having a number of account's helped me stay in control of my money better. I allocated all the accounts set amounts of money and what was left in my main account was left for me for the month to blag on what I liked or to bump op savings or pay off debt.
I have money go in to my "main" account.. I then allocate money in to 6 different accounts which have a purpose.
Bill's, breakdowns, holiday, Christmas and birthdays, day to day spending (food, days out and 1 restaurant/takeaway treat a month, prescriptions, school stuff) and savings.
Bill's account for example all DD's get paid from here. I total up the yearly coat of all bills, divide by 12 (months) and pay in that amount +10%, so I always know I will never get a miss a payment.
Birthdays/Christmas write down who you buy for and the budget you spend on them for their birthday then multiply by 2 (for Christmas), again pay in 10% more a month and you'll always have enough to buy that gift for someone.
Basically each account has a function, and the amounts vary throughout the month/year the only one that just goes up is savings... Unless I allocate something for that to be spent on (new roof/kitchen refit etc)
Instead of buying maybe list somethings on eBay or vinted to make some extra cash to help pay off that debt, and you'll be at home for the lil ones too doing that.
I don't have a car as it's just not in my budget to afford one, however you have 2 on finance and one is just sitting there 4/5/6 months of the year. Seems crazy to me, that one of those payments can help pay off your debt.
I wish you the best, the good thing is you've noticed there is a issue, so it's time to tackle it and give yourself and your family a better future with little to no financial constraints.