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First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. Did your brother's ex-partner not have your number? I'm in a similar situation but in reverse. My friend passed away few months ago and her only living relative is her sister in Canada. They were estranged and all the while my friend was ill with terminal diagnosis, she did not want the sister to know. According to her, they had not spoken for 10 years. When my friend passed away, I wanted to let the sister know but the only phone number appeared to be an old landline (not working) and we could not find the sister on the social media. I also asked if the Embassy would offer a tracing service but they do not. In the end I found someone else in the phonebook who knew the sister but did not have her contact number but knew of someone else who might have them - so I left the message with this person to pass to that person. To date I have not heard anything back so I don't know if the message ever reached her sister. I don't know why they fell out in the first place but regardless, I think the sister had a right to know of her sibling passing but it's not always so straight forward with families.
If she didn’t want to be in touch with her sister in Canada and didn’t want her to even know she was ill then I wouldn’t have bothered personally because that would be going against her wishes. If the sister in Canada was that bothered she could have been in touch.