Money Moral Dilemma: Should we leave our friend out of rounds at the pub?

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My mates and I regularly go to the pub for a catch-up, taking turns to buy rounds. One of our friends often 'conveniently' disappears to the toilet or goes for a smoke when it's his round. We've spoken to him about it, but nothing's changed. Should we start to leave him out of rounds - which could cause problems in the group - or ignore it, as we have been doing?

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  • Maybe have a drinks float which everyone puts in the same amount at the beginning of the evening - whatever a round normally costs.  If he does not put in then he cannot take out!
  • There's one in every friendship group. In my experience the awkwardness of being up front and telling them to stop being a tightarse was miles better than constantly feeling like you were being taken the !!!!!! out of. Only thing I'd say is don't embarrass them in front of all the group, you never know there might be a good reason like they've got loads of debt or something, best to find a good time for a proper chat about it
  • John_Gray
    John_Gray Posts: 5,821 Forumite
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    edited 7 June 2022 at 8:29PM
    Surely the MoneySaving thing would be not to go to the pub at all!  Then the dilemma would not arise - and you could save billions of electrons also, as well as £huge...
  • soryan25
    soryan25 Posts: 17 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Definitely tell him if he does not want to be in the round, buy his own. Stop adding him to the round. If he can't afford a round, stay out of round. Not embarrassing to say he is buying his own...
  • Rounds can put a bit pressure on someone who hasn’t got the money for them. I’d just decide to just buy your own drinks from now on.
  • kerri_gt
    kerri_gt Posts: 11,202 Forumite
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    They may not want or be able to be part of a round for a number of reasons.

    Granted then they shouldn't take drinks from others but surely if you're actual friends you can just ask them if they want to be part of the round and in which case will be expected to buy when it's their turn, or if they'd rather stick to themselves. 🤷‍♀️
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  • As someone that years ago, was not in a position to afford round (some people took the micky when I could, ordering an expensive drink, then cheap when it was their turn), I would not go to the pub.
    If he keeps disappearing when it's his round, all the others go to the bar and buy their own drink, then take a long time to drink it.
    If he keeps taking the mick, then he is not really a friend, that is if he has no financial problems.
    Maybe just all buy your own drinks when he is there, that might sort out the problem.
  • canaldumidi
    canaldumidi Posts: 3,511 Forumite
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    edited 7 June 2022 at 9:08PM
    He's either mean/tight, or broke/hard up.
    If the former, you need to force the issue.
    If the latter you need todecide what 'friendship' means and maybe just accept that his visits to the loo are his embarrassed way to avoid spending what he does not have.
    I remember as a student being unable to physicaly keep up with rounds of pints. I used to always drink halves, and felt there was a certain unfairness that when it was my round I bought everyone a pint, but for the sake of fitting in I went along with it.
    Nowadays I'd probably just buy my own drinks, but peer pressure, and youth, can make that hard.

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