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Living with someone who has mental health issues

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Living with someone who has mental health issues

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Black_SaturnBlack_Saturn Forumite
80 posts
10 Posts Name Dropper
This is so hard. I am not an uncaring person, but am slowly being pushed to my limits living under a dark cloud of depression, and paranoia, and mood swings, and apathy, and threats of suicide. It is driving me to despair, with nowhere to turn. 

I am accused of being unsympathetic, of not understanding the turmoil, nor how difficult it is to cope with everyday life. The threats of suicide leave me on edge, wondering if this is the day it is going to happen. I am constantly biting my tongue, and walking on eggshells. Leaving is not an option, so I do not know what to do. 

I considered contacting the crisis team the other day, as my concerns were heightened, but the suggestion did not go down too well. I try to make other suggestions, but they are not well-received either. It doesn’t seem to matter what I say, I have become the enemy, even though I try so hard to keep everything calm, and love with all my heart. Yet, on other days, everything is okay; the atmosphere is light, and jovial, and I am thankful for that, but it doesn’t seem to last, and then we are living under a cloud once again, with arguments, and accusations, and non-communication, and it is wearing me down.

There isn’t anything anyone can do, but just writing down my thoughts, perhaps I am talking to someone, maybe someone who has experienced the same sort of thing. Someone who has come out of the tunnel at the other side. This is what I am hopeful for, that this is a small blip and will get easier in time.
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Replies

  • edited 27 June at 1:16PM
    Black_SaturnBlack_Saturn Forumite
    80 posts
    10 Posts Name Dropper
    edited 27 June at 1:16PM
    It is all so difficult. There are days when the threat of suicide seems very, very, real. Other days it feels as if it is nothing more than an emotional ploy, especially when I have raised the topic of moving out, or walking away. I could not bear it if I was responsible for that, though.
  • Black_SaturnBlack_Saturn Forumite
    80 posts
    10 Posts Name Dropper
    Medication did help, but he has stopped taking them as feels they are not doing any good, despite my commenting that they were having a positive effect on mood swings. There have been several counselling sessions, and visits to the GP, but they are considered a waste of time. It is very draining, especially when there is an atmosphere in the home. There have been so many days where I don’t want to be here, where I wish I could just walk out of the door and disappear, but I cannot do that. I cannot just walk away from my responsibilities, so I am trapped in a situation that is not of my own making.
  • MojisolaMojisola Forumite
    33.5K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    ✭✭✭✭✭
    It is all so difficult. There are days when the threat of suicide seems very, very, real. Other days it feels as if it is nothing more than an emotional ploy, especially when I have raised the topic of moving out, or walking away. I could not bear it if I was responsible for that, though.
    You can't let yourself be held captive through this emotional blackmail - you won't be helping the other person and you will be making yourself ill.  If you end up in hospital with a health crisis, then you won't be around as a prop - what would happen then?  Far better to start reducing your support in a managed way and help the other person to see that you're not at their beck and call 24/7.
    Start putting yourself first occasionally and do things that you need to do - if you think you need to contact the crisis team, do it. 
    If you can, get out of the situation, even if it's only for a few hours at a time - a few days would be even better.  It will give you some clarity and help you see how controlled you are being.
  • Black_SaturnBlack_Saturn Forumite
    80 posts
    10 Posts Name Dropper
    I did not know that the Samaritans was available for situations such as this, only that they were available for those contemplating suicide. Thank you.

    It feels like a heavy burden on my shoulders. If I ask for help with keeping the home clean, it is ignored - or met with complaints. If I ask for help with dependants, once again it is ignored, or met with complaints. Not always, but a lot of the times. To me, personal hygiene has become an issue - going days without bathing - but if it is commented upon, then I am in the wrong for even mentioning it. Even before furlough, bathing has been an issue of contention. It feels as if the situation has been exacerbated during lockdown however, as there is no space. It is always there, and even when the atmosphere is light, I now find myself waiting for it to turn dark again.
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