How Do You Cope With Rising Depression Because of Things That Are Happening/Difficult

[Deleted User]

I am autistic, have two autistic sons, I also have unstable diabetes/quite bad asthma/arthritis. I am high risk, spoke to GP on the phone on Thursday.  Apparently it wasn't the GP I should have been speaking to (I was sent to something called the hub, god knows what that is and why it was wrong) but he is going to try to refer me to something called IMAGO (whatever that is) for assessment to see if I count as 'very vulnerable' and in need of assistance with shopping. He seemed to think I should be, even though I quite clearly don't meet the criteria.  My diabetes is becoming a problem due to a lack of the right foods.  My kids will only eat a limited menu which means more than one shop as I can't queue for long enough to get into Asda (only large supermarket in the area) due to the arthritis so I'm getting really stressed out about food and the risks I take every time I go out.  There's no one else to look after the kids if anything happens to me so that's a real worry.  No neighbours who can help, no friends, no family.  If this means a volunteer getting shoppiing, will they get what I need because of my diabetes and my kids needs or only a list of approved essential goods?  Are we expected to be healthy on that for 18 months?

I have tried and tried to book online slots for shopping without seeing even one available since this started.  I'm getting quite stressed by the unpleasant choices in front of me.  Not helped by my younger son deciding he won't eat the pasta that was his staple so now I have to find something else he will eat lol (he's not exactly bonny).
Then I look at the news (well I'm not watching it anymore) and get so disheartened at the lies being told.  NHS staff being blamed for using PPE 'inappropriately' supposedly by a minister whose ignoring quite a few of the guidelines he insists we must all follow (meetings of 10 people, lying about main residence, travelling to another one) then there's the other health guy who travelled 150 miles to take items to his mother in spite of neighbours helping her .., and you see a black man arrested for doing exactly the same thing and threatened with pepper spray because he didn't turn round quick enough.  

It seems like a world gone mad, with more lies even than usual (the problems supplying PPE, red tape stopping local firms supplying it, do we have firms supplying test kits now they've finally decided to do more tests a day three months later than it should have been.) etc etc.

Now its going to go on for 18 months, til they have a vaccine available.  I will lose what health I have worked hard to maintain from lack of exercise before then if I haven't gotten coronavirus.

How is one supposed to keep going?  I don't need counselling.  I just need the government to lie less and do more of the right things without wasting months putting things off.  Or am I being totally unfair?  Am I the only one to be disheartened by advice you can't follow (get online shopping, eat healthily  you see articles in the paper suggesting you keep the kids amused with things you haven't got available and can't get). Now apparently the haulage companies are on the point of going out of business en masse because they aren't hauling goods to entertainments anymore.  For goodness sake.

Please don't think I am ignoring the deaths, not all of whom are going into the official figures because people haven't died in hospital.  Truly awful when you think everyone of those lives lost, the families and friends affected.  Then you read a newspaper saying the deaths are only a bit higher than normal.  How can that be?

gettingtheresometime

I found ( & yes I do appreciate the irony) to come off social media, especially Facebook & Twitter. I don't really listen to the news anymore ....unless I see people in the streets, I'm not even bothering to look to see if restrictions have been lifted, partially or otherwise.

i also appreciate that this won't be an option to everyone but getting out in the garden has helped (this is a source of amusement to my self isolating mum) weeding & digging anything to keep my mind active & in the nights knitting etc....in fact anything that I need to concentrate on rather than letting my mind wander in the current situation helps.

as for online shopping, Tesco release their slots just after midnight so if you can stay up it might be worth trying to bag on one those. I don't know when asda release theirs ...it may be worth trying to phone them to ask.

I agree it does seem the world has gone mad, but I cope with it by controlling what I can & taking calculated risks with sufficient precautions on what I can't. As for politicians, well apart from the NZ PM, I think there's a whole load of them that have been found wanting.

bradders1983

Oh god not the New Zealand comparison. A country with more sheep than people, hardly a good analogy. 

[Deleted User]

I did do some DIY jobs (so slowly lol, how times have changed but I got them done). But only have a small paved back yard so no garden. I do have two dogs, who I adore but worry about walking and getting them the treats I normally have for them (been able to get some online but much more expensive than where I normally get them). 

But the above post does have some useful points.  I don't have a big tesco's locally.  Only Asda.  We do have Aldi and Lidl but you never know if there are long queues. I look on a local facebook page but people tend to post hours later.

gettingtheresometime

bradders1983 said:

Oh god not the New Zealand comparison. A country with more sheep than people, hardly a good analogy. 

Ok in 2008 NZ had a population of say 5 million & our population is say 66 million.

So roughly NZ should have had 606 deaths if they followed us. They've had 2.

but we've derailed the OP so I'll leave it there.

bradders1983

gettingtheresometime said:

bradders1983 said:

Oh god not the New Zealand comparison. A country with more sheep than people, hardly a good analogy. 

Ok in 2008 NZ had a population of say 5 million & our population is say 66 million.

So roughly NZ should have had 606 deaths if they followed us. They've had 2.

but we've derailed the OP so I'll leave it there.

Its still an erroneous comparison. Population density, area, location, number of transport interchanges etc etc.

AntoMac

Gettingtheresometime makes some good points, the one about controlling what you can is a particularly good  one.  I try where possible not to get too wound up by things I can’t control, particularly politicians.  You don’t know what a volunteer shopper will get you until you ask - don’t assume the worst

My autistic daughter’s fussy eating habits are difficult for me to cope with so I can fully relate. Ultimately I can’t force feed her, although she does look bonny (great word and great user name by the way).

I also tell myself that better times ARE ahead. I’m sure you’re coping a lot better than you think you are.

Thrugelmir

deannatrois said:

Then you read a newspaper saying the deaths are only a bit higher than normal.  How can that be?

1,400 people or thereabouts on average were dying everyday in the UK before the virus struck. To put into context the number that have have died directly or indirectly from the Covid 19 virus over the past few weeks. We've become accustomed since WW2 for the advance in medicine to protect us. Almost to the point of being complacent. Though the lack of MMR vaccinations is leaving many exposed to the great danger of contracting diseases such as measles. That 50 years ago was all but eradicated. Covid 19 is highly infectous and lethal. As humans despite the advances in technology etc. We still have our limitations. 
Be positive though. Find enjoyment in the simple things in life. 

gettingtheresometime

It doesn't matter how slowly or quickly you do the diy....it just a case of taking your mind off the situation.

You're allowed to walk your dogs, so walk them. Exercise will help them & you.

as for long queues, anecdotally, queues tend to shorter/non existent the later you go so it may be worth, if possible, going later in the day or an hour or two before closing.....I can only speak about my local Tesco but weirdly enough since the lockdown stock levels have been excellent.

poppy12345

I haven't had any problems with stock levels in supermarkets for at least the past week. Yes there's queues to get in, which is understandable due to the social distancing rules. The idea of going later in the day is a good one.

I also have a fussy eating daughter with ASD but as stock levels in supermarkets are better than they were a couple of weeks ago it's much easier to get the things we need now. Try looking on facebook in your area to see if there's help out there to get your shopping for you.

PasturesNew

Food/shopping is a problem for many functioning autistics... without the other stuff (illnesses + kids).  I'm coping by eating bad foods repetitively... 

Online shopping slots have become something people rely on, but I've never shopped online.  I can bear to go into a few shops, for a short while, to try to emerge with something that's edible, at the best of times.  These days I've tried to not go shopping, then hope to do a fly-by late in the day when it's almost empty (Aldi/Lidl) and go in for 2-3 items ... and dash out.  

But, I do see a lot of local places are delivering a lot of goods, but you have to pick your way round them and it depends where you are.  While most are "posh/local shops, with high end prices", there are some simple fruit/veg places doing fairly regular priced offerings, allbeit having to work out what their system is.  

The trouble is, nobody's going to understand how difficult shopping is for a lot of autistics, the whole processing thing... it's been years for me to hone my shopping skills, find products I can work with, know where I can get them - and suddenly that's all on its head.  

I wish you luck.  Whether you get lots of solutions or a few unworkable suggestions depends precisely on where you live and exactly what you want/expect/need I'm afraid.  There is no overall system, no coordination.  Some places are exceptionally good (they tend to be small villages), others are just a wasteland of ideas.  

I can't/won't do home deliveries as there's too much complexity and anxiety around the whole flawed system   but I am lucky that I'm happy eating a tin of peas as a meal... so long as I manage to dash out and get a tin of peas in.  You've not got my luck.