How to deal with frustration, someone never learning

Gettingtherequickly

This is more of a vent to get it out of my system, but how do others deal with someone's inability to sort out financial situation, not through lack of money, but pure stupidity in how they deal with money and what is a priority, especially if it has nothing to do with you.

Don't get me wrong, I know what it is like to be in debt, been there, got the t-shirt, but have come through stronger & better. Come on here regularly to keep me in check and genuinely take joy in the success of those achieving their goal of being debt free.

Anyway, what I need to get off my chest! Someone I know bailed someone we know out of debt the first time about 25 years ago and is still doing it. I feel so frustrated that neither ever learn, sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind, just to force the debtor to stand back and take stock of the situation, complaining about being broke then buying a new coat is not going to solve the situation! Today's frustration has blown up because a bail out happened last week and today the debtor was hit with a consequence of their inaction. I am just so annoyed that my friend will be probably more or less guilt tripped into solving the situation again, but I am tempted to scream let them deal with the consequences, they need to learn!

I know it has nothing to do with me, but I don't want my friend to be used nor do I want the debtor to poodle along in life assuming that whatever mire they get into, my idiot friend will, in all probablity, sort it. I just want to vent:o

WhenIam64

Today's frustration has blown up because a bail out happened last week and today the debtor was hit with a consequence of their inaction.

Could you explain if the issue is not dealing with existing debt - or taking on new debt when the old debt was cleared by someone else?

Gettingtherequickly

WhenIam64 wrote: »

Could you explain if the issue is not dealing with existing debt - or taking on new debt when the old debt was cleared by someone else?

Combination of both, friend didn't clear it all as some responsibility must be taken, but accruing another, this time car clamped due to no tax, just not being a responsible adult and definitely old enough to know better.

chunkytfg

I have a colleague who does nothing but moan about money and his apparent lack of it. We both do the same job and he is literally always working overtime so I know full well how much he takes home every month. I admit tat he has 3 kids and his missus doesn't work so his household is different from my 2 income no kids lifestyles but even so...He's recently moved house extending his from the 7 years he had left on his old house to 30 years on his new one(he's in his late 40's) and constantly spends money on betting and down the pub £100's at a time.

I now cope by making my excuses to be somewhere else all the time as i'm fed up listening to him whine about how tough life is all the while sitting there knowing he's earning ~5k a month take home!

EssexHebridean

People who are bailed out, rather than putting in the work to clear debt, have nothing to learn from, so are far more likely to repeat their same mistakes over and over. When you have to learn to budget, and spend time repaying money owed, you have the time and the necessity to learn lessons that will stay with you.