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Spousal Support Confusion. Help needed!

Apologies and thanks for those that take the time to read a relatively long post. In need of some help/guidance from anyone having been in this situation previously please.
I divorced my ex wife 4 years ago and as part of the divorce we didnt agree or put in place any legally binding financial settlement order. I agreed to walk away with 10k worth of marital debt and an agreement to still contribute towards the mortgage for the first year. She would then continue to pay the mortgage and stay in the property. We have two kids aged 6 and 10 and since the separation and divorce, I have paid child maintenance.
This agreement worked well until year 3 when my ex wife skipped mortgage payments and racked up over 7k worth of arrears. For the last 12 months I have been doing everything in my power to get off the mortgage, even agreeing for her to take on the mortgage officially and for me to walk away due to the impact it is having on my credit. Despite best efforts and offers to buy her out, she won't budge. I have now commenced legal proceedings to finally arrange a FSO and we are both due to attend our joint mediation appointment. As part of the mediation/terms, my ex wife is adament about not selling the property or for me to walk away with any equity but is intent on now chasing me for spousal maintenance 4 years after our divorce. She is claiming her solicitor has advised this can be backdated? Is this true? Does anyone or has anyone experienced this before? I am assuming however she can claim future spousal support from me even though she wasnt interested in doing this until my intent on sorting all of this out legally.
Any help/info would be really appreciated
Thanks for taking the time to read through.


  • TripleH
    TripleH Posts: 3,019 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    Someone more knowledgeable will be able to help, but is she mixing child support up with spousal support?

    I assume she is working (or planned to when you divorced)?

    It is too late now for you but as a note to others it does show the need to fully and officially resolve everything when you divorce.
    May you find your sister soon Helli.
    Sleep well.
  • kcv684
    kcv684 Posts: 11 Forumite
    First Anniversary
    Nope definitely spousal support. The Child support is agreed with the CSA and paid on time through our agreement.

    She is working and was working when we divorced.
    POPPYOSCAR Posts: 14,897 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    kcv684 wrote: »
    Nope definitely spousal support. The Child support is agreed with the CSA and paid on time through our agreement.

    She is working and was working when we divorced.

    What makes her think she is entitled to it?
  • kcv684
    kcv684 Posts: 11 Forumite
    First Anniversary
    Her solicitor apparently? Not only is she claiming to have been told it can be backdated but it is her intent for future payments also. Just wondering really if anyone has been in a situation where they have had to pay backdated spousal support after being divorced a few years
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 33,044 Forumite
    Name Dropper Photogenic First Anniversary First Post
    She is possibly being a tad hopeful.
    Sibling had to pay spousal maintenance but that was only for 4 years in order to allow the ex time to retrain to get back into work, as she ceased work when the children were born.
    You wife appears to have always worked so this is less relevant. She is using it as a negotiating tool. Just because she's asking for it doesn't mean she'd get it if it went in front of a court.
    What have your respective earning powers been?
    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • mgdavid
    mgdavid Posts: 6,706 Forumite
    First Anniversary Name Dropper First Post
    Spousal support/maintenance is very rare nowadays, it belongs back in the ark when men supported the whole family and wives became the little lady at home. We live in more enlightened times, equality means she can earn her own money - and does by the sound of it. I imagine a judge would have some difficulty in keeping a straight face.... unless you are earning millions and she was a trophy wife.
    The questions that get the best answers are the questions that give most detail....
  • FBaby
    FBaby Posts: 18,367 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    Does she work FT or PT? Did she have a higher earning job before meeting you that she gave up in agreement with you when the kids were born and now only doing pt low earning work as couldn't get back into her career?
  • unholyangel
    unholyangel Posts: 16,863 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary
    When you say no legally binding financial agreement, do you mean your agreement was informal and never part of your divorce proceedings?

    If so, divorce doesn't end your financial commitment to one another, only your marriage. Thats why you need a clean break or consent order also. Otherwise one of you can make a claim years down the line, against the other.
    You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means - Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride
  • kcv684
    kcv684 Posts: 11 Forumite
    First Anniversary
    Hi All, thanks for the replies. She does work FT yes and this has always been the case. She even has her own business on the side now also (that she operates from the house!!!), so her situation in my opinion is better. I guess I will wait and see if this stands in court and a judge backdates it 4 years.
  • Seanymph
    Seanymph Posts: 2,877 Forumite
    Name Dropper First Post First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Her solicitor will be firing broadsides to make you agree to things - its all about posturing at this stage.

    There are online divorce forums, and advice places (wikidivorce?) - that you may find worth investigating.

    She is flying a kite. Hang in there, line up your paperwork to prove everything you have done, and how badly she has managed her finances despite your support, and wait and see what happens - I suspect she will get less keen as time goes along.
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