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Last ooorders!… We’re sorry but for now, due to resources, we need to close the Money Savers Arms including Discussion Time.

It’s not easy to write this. We love the forum, but we also have a job to do to protect it, our users and MoneySavingExpert, and at the moment, with all our resources focused on Coronavirus information, and all the team at home, we don’t feel we have the resources to do a good enough job.

For four months, we’ve been struggling to cope with the huge volumes of messages we’ve been getting from Forumites – many of whom are in desperate and dire straits with their finances. The team have been working all hours to try and keep on top of it. At first we thought it’d be a short sharp spike, but it isn’t, it’s continuing, so we have had some difficult choices to make about prioritisation.

Unfortunately in, and likely because of, these stressful times, the Forum team have also been receiving an increasing number of complaints about posts made on the Money Savers Arms and Discussion Time. The team have done what they can to try and walk the tightrope of balancing all the various interests, but for now we need to draw a line under this and temporarily close this Board, so we can keep the key, MoneySaving boards – where people are supporting each other through this crisis - running smoothly.

We know this board is important to you, but as the MSE stance has been forbearance throughout this crisis, now we ask that of you. We’re sorry. Of course you can post on other boards, but we’d ask you to stick to the subjects of those boards, and not use them as a surrogate Money Savers Arms or Discussion Time. And as always please be kind and friendly to each other, especially any newbies.

Thanks
MSE Forum Team

Funny Joke Thread

edited 30 November -1 at 1:00AM in Funny Money
6.4K replies 911.3K views
1633634635636638

Replies

  • ffacoffipawbffacoffipawb Forumite
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    A farmer was out tending his flock when he saw a man drinking with a cupped hand from a stream.


    He shouted over: “Peidiwch ag yfed y dŵr! Mae'n ffiaidd! Mae o'n llawn baw defaid - cachu!”

    The man at the stream lifted his head and carried on drinking. Realising the man couldn't hear him, the farmer moved closer and shouted the same thing again.

    But still the man couldn't hear him.

    Finally the farmer walked right up to him and repeated his warning. To which the man replied: “Dreadfully sorry, my good man, I can't understand a word you say. Can you speak English, old chap?”

    “Oh I see,” said the farmer. “I was just saying if you use both hands you can get more in.”
    Retired Cymro

    🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Cymru am Byth 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿
  • peter_the_piperpeter_the_piper Forumite
    30K posts
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    So, this morning while showering, I suddenly burst into a medley of songs by Bing Crosby, Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra.

    must be the crooner virus. 😷


    I'd rather be an Optimist and be proved wrong than a Pessimist and be proved right.
  • duncanthedogduncanthedog Forumite
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    I couldn't get any bread in the supermarket today so I went to the park and threw I.O.U's to the ducks.
  • Wild_RoverWild_Rover Forumite
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    Listening to Trump's ravings it occurred to me that the US response to the virus is the outcome of voting in Ralph Wiggum as President instead of Lisa Simpson.

    WR
    Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. Voltaire
    Why should I allow that same God to tell me how to raise my kids, who had to drown His own? RG. Ingersol
    I find the whole business of religion profoundly interesting. But it does mystify me that otherwise intelligent people take it seriously. D Adams
  • PyxisPyxis Forumite
    46.1K posts
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    Listening to Trump's ravings it occurred to me that the US response to the virus is the outcome of voting in Ralph Wiggum as President instead of Lisa Simpson.

    WR
    👍
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).
    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • duncanthedogduncanthedog Forumite
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    A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. 

    On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. 

    He then stopped at the feed store and picked up a couple of  chickens and a goose.

     However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his purchases home. 

    While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. 

    She asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?'

    The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house. I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot.' 

    The old lady suggested, 'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?'

    'Why thank you very much,' he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

     On the way he says, 'Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time".

    The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'

    The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'

    The old lady replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens'.


  • FruitcakeFruitcake Forumite
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    Members of the Flat Earth Society fear that social distancing will push them over the edge.
    I married my cousin. I had to...
    I don't have a sister. :D
    All my screwdrivers are cordless.
    "You're Safety Is My Primary Concern Dear" - Laks
  • PyxisPyxis Forumite
    46.1K posts
    10,000 Posts Sixth Anniversary Name Dropper Photogenic
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    Fruitcake said:
    Members of the Flat Earth Society fear that social distancing will push them over the edge.
    😂😂😂
    (I just lurve spiders!)
    INFJ(Turbulent).
    Her Greenliness Baroness Pyxis of the Alphabetty, Pinnacle of Peadom and Official Brainbox
    Founder Member: 'WIMPS ANONYMOUS' and 'VICTIMS of the RANDOM HEDGEHOG'
    I'm in a clique! It's a clique of one! It's a unique clique!
    I love :eek:



  • FruitcakeFruitcake Forumite
    49.4K posts
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
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    I 'phoned my local Tesco store to see if I needed to wear PPE whilst shopping. The store manager said just wearing gloves and a mask will be perfectly adequate.

    She Lied!

    Everyone else was wearing clothes. :o
    I married my cousin. I had to...
    I don't have a sister. :D
    All my screwdrivers are cordless.
    "You're Safety Is My Primary Concern Dear" - Laks
  • welshbookwormwelshbookworm Forumite
    2.9K posts
    Tenth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
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    Just be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down! Actually I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and we all agreed that things are getting bad. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything. Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant. In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing. The vacuum was very unsympathetic... told me to just suck it up, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over! The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip.😬 The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to ........yes, you guessed it 😝.....pull myself together
    The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
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