Bad idea not to mention child in divorce papers? Am i being naive?

TBagpuss

the only information needed on the divorce is the date of bith of the children and whther they are children of both of you or not. There is no reason not to put it down.

It is no longer necessary to have a statement of arrangments setting out details ofwhere they live, what contact arrangments are etc.

Guest101

Person_one wrote: »

Sorry, but come on! He has 50/50 shared care and he's scared that the mere mention of the child's existence on the divorce paperwork will put him at risk of losing contact altogether? No chance.

I'm not saying that a court would do that (learn to read!), I'm saying he might THINK that they will

mattpaint

So he has his child for 50% of the time and pays 50% of his expenses, but you think he should pay more? Why?

Ames

Leaving aside the legal stuff, how would your son feel to know that his dad effectively wanted to pretend he didn't exist?

Of course, he might never find out, but if he does I imagine he'd be hurt.

Hag

Hi everyone. Thank you for your comments.

I'm happy with the current arrangement of paying 50:50 and did not mean to imply he should also be paying maintenance.

I'm concerned he is keeping our son out of it because it will benefit him in the future, but I can't figure out what this may be. This is very much his personality. Long game revenge!

Our son doesn't seem to like the 50:50 split, has become withdrawn and has separation anxiety from me and his siblings. Ex doesn't acknowledge this at all and thinks I'm making it all up.

Hag

Regarding finances, there are no assists to split, and we are both keen to become financially separate.

FatVonD

When I got divorced I chose the clean break option so neither of us could make any claims against the other in the future.

My solicitor pointed out that while I could choose that for myself my son would always have a claim to maintenance from his father.

Not sure how that helps but I do think it's very odd not to mention him.

Caroline_a

Hag wrote: »

Hi everyone. Thank you for your comments.


Our son doesn't seem to like the 50:50 split, has become withdrawn and has separation anxiety from me and his siblings. Ex doesn't acknowledge this at all and thinks I'm making it all up.

When I split from my ex we did 50-50 care initially. I thought at the time that it seemed a good way forward, but found afterwards that she'd hated it. She felt like she didn't have her own room as she was always shuffling from one house to the other - I'd never thought of it at all, she had her own bedroom in both houses but maybe because she had her stuff split into 2 places, I don't know. She did settle very happily when she finally (after 12 months) just lived with me and her sisters and saw her dad during holidays (we had moved away).

[Deleted User]

How old is your shared child?

Hag

Ames wrote: »

Leaving aside the legal stuff, how would your son feel to know that his dad effectively wanted to pretend he didn't exist?

Of course, he might never find out, but if he does I imagine he'd be hurt.

He's 5, and quite an emotional little thing