mother in Law grrrrr!!!!

Artytarty

lulu_92 wrote: »

Good points, but when I'm feeding one baby and the other one that she's holding needs changing I do not expect her to hold the baby out to me saying "She needs changing, I did my duty of nappy changes 30 years ago" when she could have done it to help me. Having two is different, if both need feeding or changing its only logical for someone to help you if possible.

My mum sees these things as part of the baby package, so not only does she do it to help, she will often jump at the opportunity to give one a bottle or something, so maybe my view of what is normal is a bit skewed because of this?

Lulu, I think your view is indeed skewed against your MIL. I remember you were absolutely livid when you thought she might buy your husband/ her son, a Fathers Day card.

pigpen

lulu_92 wrote: »

My mum sees these things as part of the baby package, so not only does she do it to help, she will often jump at the opportunity to give one a bottle or something, so maybe my view of what is normal is a bit skewed because of this?

No it isn't.. your mum is doing what normal people would do, whether a grandparent or not.. most people know you are not an octopus so can only deal with one at a time.

I know you have a difficult relationship with MIL but she does sound like a bit of a pita .. she doesn't help and she doesn't support you, quite the opposite.. so while you may be a bit tetchy towards her she is still wrong to not help out.

Artytarty wrote: »

I remember you were absolutely livid when you thought she might buy your husband/ her son, a Fathers Day card.

and so she should be.. as it happened i couldn't go to shop to buy a fathers day card and i asked my daughter to go and she didn't but if i had ASKED OH's mum she would have got him a card.. but she wouldn't just presume she could or be crazy enough to think it was her duty or anything to do with her, the same as any other rational person.

KxMx

Lulu is right, twins are a whole different ball game to a single baby.

One baby is usually more than enough for a parent to care for, now double it!

Any time I am round my cousins I will always offer to do a nappy/bottle/cuddle when she has her hands full (literally) with another baby. Sometimes we do one each or sometimes I will tend to the one who needs something while she gets on with another job. There is an awful lot to do with twins and she is glad of and grateful for another set of hands.

I mean the number of just poo nappies daily now they are on solids is unbelievable between the two of them :eek:

CathA

KxMx wrote: »

Lulu is right, twins are a whole different ball game to a single baby.

One baby is usually more than enough for a parent to care for, now double it!

I mean the number of just poo nappies daily now they are on solids is unbelievable between the two of them :eek:

Been there, done that!! I remember one day when I'd changed twinny 1, changed twinny 2 and in the meantime the first one had done a massive poop (in a clean nappy!) so had to be changed. Guess what twinny 2 was doing whilst I was changing her sister? Yep, poop heaven that day!

barbiedoll

I think that the main issue in OP's case is not that granny wants to come to the school concert, it's that she delves into grandson's bag, reads notes that are intended to be given to his parents and then invites herself to said concert without asking grandson or parents if it's ok.

Yes, school websites are in the public domain (although she found out from a letter that wasn't meant for her.) Yes, it's lovely that granny wants to be involved in family life. And yes, there's no reason why she shouldn't go along. But it is impolite to just assume that she is welcome and it's rude to root through her grandson's school bag. He's not a baby and it's not her job to do that, it's for his parents to check his stuff.

It may be that OP is a thoroughly nasty DIL and that MIL is a lovely, caring granny. Or it could be that this is the thin end of the wedge, and granny is just an interfering old bat who wants to impose her imagined authority by ignoring and undermining OP. None of us know and I don't suppose we ever will. But let's give OP the benefit of the doubt, from reading between the lines, I don't think that this is the only instance of MIL elbowing her way into family life!

chesky

I don't think you should have to elbow your way into family life if you're part of the family.

missbiggles1

barbiedoll wrote: »

I think that the main issue in OP's case is not that granny wants to come to the school concert, it's that she delves into grandson's bag, reads notes that are intended to be given to his parents and then invites herself to said concert without asking grandson or parents if it's ok.

Yes, school websites are in the public domain (although she found out from a letter that wasn't meant for her.) Yes, it's lovely that granny wants to be involved in family life. And yes, there's no reason why she shouldn't go along. But it is impolite to just assume that she is welcome and it's rude to root through her grandson's school bag. He's not a baby and it's not her job to do that, it's for his parents to check his stuff.

It may be that OP is a thoroughly nasty DIL and that MIL is a lovely, caring granny. Or it could be that this is the thin end of the wedge, and granny is just an interfering old bat who wants to impose her imagined authority by ignoring and undermining OP. None of us know and I don't suppose we ever will. But let's give OP the benefit of the doubt, from reading between the lines, I don't think that this is the only instance of MIL elbowing her way into family life!

How can a member of the family elbow themselves into something they're already a part of?

[Deleted User]

dodo01 wrote: »

It said on the letter she read in his book bag that it wasn't ticketed and it was on a first come first serve basis. She just seem to think she has the 'right' to be there. She can't be ar-sed with him normally. He is far too mush hassle. She'd rather go off on holidays at every given moment and just have all the nice stuff no babysitting etc. :mad:

Remember a few years ago we were sitting there and MIL just came out and said "OK I think I'll come on holidays with you this year". We hadn't even invited her!

Unfortunately, she did end up coming. Never again. Complete nightmare she was.

chesky

Actually, one of the perks of being a grandma is getting to do all the nice stuff without all the cra- of motherhood. Been there, done that thank you.

justme111

Haha
I suppose with grandparents it is like with children - one has to make allowances for them , forgive them things , tolerate them and enjoy the good things they have to offer. As with children, some of them are easier than others and some are more demanding ..