Family holiday - don't want to go, help!

skintlass

Hi,
I've been asked to go on a family holiday next year with my sis, bil and 2 nephews plus my mam. Last time I went on family holiday (before the nephews were born) we had a massive falling out between me and my bil which really ruined the holiday for me and I'm wary of this happening again.
I really don't want to go but also don't want my mam to miss out on going away with the family. Sister has suggested 2 weeks in August (OMG the extra cost cos its Aug) on a beach. Problems for me are 1. I don't do beach holidays. 2. I don't do 2 weeks unless theres lots of activities and/or its long haul 3. I'll be picking up the cost for my mam and myself ( lots of family history there but basically mam is on a pension, sis and bil are not that well paid and I am I guess fairly well paid).
Do you think its reasonable of me to suggest that mam and me only stay 1 week instead of doing the 2 weeks? Also, would like suggestions on good destinations for a family in Aug where its hot enough to sunbathe but not hot enough so that you can't do anything else.
Please help.

richardw

You and your mam could go on holiday together at a cheaper time to travel and save £s.

Would your mam really miss out, she could go on day trips with her grandchildren instead.

Debt_Free_Chick

Why would mam miss out if you didn't go? Would she not go with sis, bil & her grandchildren?

skintlass

Hi, No she couldn't afford to go without me paying for it and I think it would casue a lot of bad feeling/ arguments if I just said I didn't want to go. The day trips idea is a nice one but she does occasionally get to go out for the day with the family. If I take her away separately I think my sis will now be upset as she's asked me on the family holiday. Both my mam and my bil suffer from arthritis (severely) and my bil has just been diagnosed with diabetes so I think part of my sis wanting me there is to help cope with 2 very active kiddies - I don't blame her for that I just think moneywise and sanitywise 1 week is all I could cope with.

mrcow

Tell them that you can't afford two weeks, especially as you're paying for two people.

Also, make sure you get separate accomodation from them if your BIL drives you nuts.

skintlass

Thanks - will try that approach.

richardw

Perhaps they could go on a hol with lots of supervised stuff for the nephews to do.

lisyloo

I think it's a little inconsiderate of your sister to put you in this position.
I think mrcow's sugesstion is good.

Say that you can't afford it, but perhaps try to think of some ideas that would suit your & your mams purposes.

Don't know how old your mam is, but my MIL has arthritis and she really enjoys cruising.
We recently went to the Norweigian fjords.
It was brilliant for my MIL and FIL (about 80) because there was always fantastic scenery to look at.
We went on one tour (to a waterfall, hotel then a drive down some hairpin bends). There are often tours like this for people with little mobility and we got to see a bit of scenery.

Don't want to be too judgmental on few facts but it sounds like your sister has her own agenda to suit her own purposes whereas you should be thinking about yourself and your mam first.

If you can't afford a holiday for both of you then perhaps suggest some family day trips. If you aren't staying overnight then it takes out most of the cost. Picnics can be just as much fun as expensive meals.

Debt_Free_Chick

Blimey, your sis is a bit precious, isn't she :rotfl: Or has she always pushed you and mam around? :rotfl:

I think it would casue a lot of bad feeling/ arguments if I just said I didn't want to go

I think it would be a nightmare if you do go, given that ...

I really don't want to go <snip>. Sister has suggested 2 weeks in August (OMG the extra cost cos its Aug) on a beach. Problems for me are 1. I don't do beach holidays. 2. I don't do 2 weeks unless theres lots of activities and/or its long haul

Hardly a recipe for a joyful harmonious holiday, is it? And, from your point of view, a waste of money too.

If you really feel duty-bound to go, then why not suggest something like Mark Warner, where there are plenty of activities organised for kids & adults. The kids' activities are fully supervised by qualified child carers. It's a bit more expensive, but then that will give you the lead in for just a week, rather than 2. The Algarve would be ideal - Greece would be too hot, I think.

cazziebo

Perfectly acceptable to go just for a week - and you're being really considerate and allowing them time to be just on their own. And DEFINITELY ensure separate accommodation. My parents always thought "sleeps 4" means sleeps 4 adults and infinite number of children. NO IT DOESN'T! if there's history of issues then make sure you have your own space.

if you can afford it Mark Warner would be great - but I imagine horrendously expensive for an August holiday.

And when you get there - relax!

nearlyrich

If you say no now it might cause ill feeling but if you go and fall out it will cause ill feeling and cost you a fortune to boot, what did you really want to do?