Determination.... So much to do... So much to achieve 27 February 2016 at 8:18PM in Debt free diaries 4 replies 311 views

Desperate4change

Ok so been lurking for a while! A long while that is! Life gets to me, I have good days and I have bad! I'm human (even though OH would say otherwise) and yes giving myself fibromyalgia all those years ago hasn't helped me even though I cope better, the flare ups mess my head up and it's like one big crater that I can't get out of until I snap out of it and voila I'm determined again! So why the posting now I hear you ask.... I have had enough! The guilty feelings, the worrying, the hiding from the number truth... The what ifs, the whys, the total wish I had done things different! I have totally had enough and am desperate for change! Desperate to remould my future, our future and be able to stand back and say yes... I've got this!!!

Desperate4change

So what am I looking to achieve from posting in this wonderful online world.... Be debt free, save for desperate renovations to house, budgeting, meal planning, declutter, further education, new job, possible side line work, reorganisation and to be able to talk freely.

Desperate4change

So a it about me! In my 30s and in desperate need of some restyling... Motherhood certainly has killed my looks! Mother of 2! Currently on maternity leave even though coming to the end of smp and need to make the decision of what to do work wise! In long term relationship, amazing man but impossible to have an adult conversation with.... Money grows on trees apparently! Didn't you know.. It does big endless money trees. Live in a very rundown house in need of tlc including a started extension which has all planning permission but hasn't got any further than the first part. Bought the house cheap to do up but is proving more hassle than it's worth! Remortgaged to clear oh debt terrible I know but if we put a budget in place then it should all work out ok. Can't get anymore out on the mortgage as is in oh name as we are not financially connected as a few years ago I had to make the decision to reduce hours or loose job as company were struggling financially in recession and left me in debt trying to cope with all usual things and didn't say anything to oh stupid I know and it left me on a dmp with fibromyalgia! You can learn from your mistakes I think. Anyway fast forward a few years and here we are desperate for change and determined to change.

Living in a small town with no one really near us can make things difficult at times as we rely on each other so much but we can do this.

Desperate4change

About the fibromyalgia- apparently it's quiet common! I just get on with it now a days! There were times I wouldn't get out of bed but that's all In the past now. My Drs have been fantastic well our new Drs! I think when you have a good understanding of it then you can work with it! I have suffered with mental health problems for years, and my dr told me that the fibromyalgia is a result of my mental health. I don't really have many friends as where we live is a bit in the sticks and the school is well let's say big jeeps, dodgy parking and a Pta that not only expect miracles but expect every parent to deliver those miracles otherwise you are frowned upon! (No disrespect to those of you who drive big cars or are on the Pta - I have the highest of respect for you... I myself drive a bogstandard focus and haven't got the confidence to go to a Pta meeting) I am frowned upon and spoken about!

Desperate4change

My gosh I just added the thread to spam by accident