feeling so low and trapped

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nikkit72
nikkit72 Posts: 2,458 Forumite
edited 8 November 2015 at 12:39PM in Marriage, relationships & families
Don't know where to start,
My husband has had depression and anxiety for about 18 months, i don't love him no more, we tried relate, it helped but was getting very costly so thought we had got somewhere and stopped. but we are back to square 1, I really hate my self but I feel so trapped, i don't love my husband, i don't want to be in the relationship, i don't want sex, i don't want anything, and feel like i can't leave as he may do something silly. i hate waking up every morning knowing what the day is gonna bring. i am getting depressed myself being in this situation. we have a child who i love with all my heart.
i hate my life !
I have told him many times, but he won't go, i cant leave as this is my house and my children (1 from previous relationship ) are here,
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  • katsu
    katsu Posts: 4,954 Forumite
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    Can't you both go back to relate so you can get done help for yourselves and the children?
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  • SailorSam
    SailorSam Posts: 22,754 Forumite
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    You say you can't go. Is there anywhere he could go ?
    Do you think if you could persuade him to take a break, if he wasn't there under your feet all the time your feelings may change.
    Liverpool is one of the wonders of Britain,
    What it may grow to in time, I know not what.

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  • Kim_kim
    Kim_kim Posts: 3,726 Forumite
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    If it's your house can't you force him to leave.
    Maybe the CAB can help?
    It was my husbands personality change that broke up my marriage, I found it impossible to try & help a man who didn't want help.
    I'm very happy to have freed myself from him.
  • ognum
    ognum Posts: 4,854 Forumite
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    nikkit72 wrote: »
    Don't know where to start,
    My husband has had depression and anxiety for about 18 months, i don't love him no more, we tried relate, it helped but was getting very costly so thought we had got somewhere and stopped. but we are back to square 1, I really hate my self but I feel so trapped, i don't love my husband, i don't want to be in the relationship, i don't want sex, i don't want anything, and feel like i can't leave as he may do something silly. i hate waking up every morning knowing what the day is gonna bring. i am getting depressed myself being in this situation. we have a child who i love with all my heart.
    i hate my life !
    I have told him many times, but he won't go, i cant leave as this is my house and my children (1 from previous relationship ) are here,

    If you are married then sadly it is not your house even if you bought it to the marriage. It is part of your joint assets.

    If he is suffering from depression he probably has neither the ability or the energy to find a new home. He also may not feel like you and may want to stay to try and work things out.

    If you want to seperate then you need to find a way of either living separately in your current home or working with him for either you or him to move out.

    Do you have somewhere you can go in the short term with your children to try to sort your mind out and get back on an even keel. Does your husband have family or friends that can support him. If you feel your husband is at risk of suicide you should be speaking help from your GP. He should be getting support.
  • DKLS
    DKLS Posts: 13,459 Forumite
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    OP do you have any male friends or relatives?
    I would give him 2 weeks notice to leave and then ensure he does leave.
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,559 Forumite
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    DKLS wrote: »
    OP do you have any male friends or relatives?
    I would give him 2 weeks notice to leave and then ensure he does leave.

    As they are married, he can't be forced out of the house - it's his home as well.
  • tea_lover
    tea_lover Posts: 8,261 Forumite
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    DKLS wrote: »
    OP do you have any male friends or relatives?
    I would give him 2 weeks notice to leave and then ensure he does leave.

    Bit harsh. It's his home as well, his children. Why should he be forced out when he's not well just because his wife is fed up with things.
  • sheramber
    sheramber Posts: 19,342 Forumite
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    What help is your husband getting for his depression?
  • BigAunty
    BigAunty Posts: 8,310 Forumite
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    Mojisola wrote: »
    As they are married, he can't be forced out of the house - it's his home as well.

    According to Shelter, a court might grant sole occupation (occupation order) to the OP if they are getting divorced or in the interests of the children. She should seek legal advice on her options.

    http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/homelessness/whats_your_situation/homeless_if_evicted_or_asked_to_leave
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,559 Forumite
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    Kim_kim wrote: »
    If it's your house can't you force him to leave.
    DKLS wrote: »
    OP do you have any male friends or relatives?

    I would give him 2 weeks notice to leave and then ensure he does leave.
    BigAunty wrote: »
    According to Shelter, a court might grant sole occupation (occupation order) to the OP if they are getting divorced or in the interests of the children. She should seek legal advice on her options.

    http://england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/homelessness/whats_your_situation/homeless_if_evicted_or_asked_to_leave

    That's somewhat different to what was being suggested.
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