Is something wrong with me?

ms.waterfall

Hi

Im newbie to this site although I have been reading it for a while, I have just never posted. I guess I am just hoping that some of you guys can give me some advice.

I just seem to let things really get to me and I dont know why. I seem to get upset really easily and just let things worry me. I suffer from IBS which seems to be brought on by stress. I have had so much time off work because if the slightest things bothers me then I feel really rough with the IBS. I am really scared I am going to lose my job. I have been to my GP a few times but they say there is nothing they can do.

Also there is some stuff that happened a few years ago with my ex that really affected me and I find it really hard to let go of this and find myself thinking about it alot and getting upset.

I dont know why I feel like this coz I have the best BF now in the world and I have a lot to look forward to but I can't help feeling down sometimes and getting worked up about things. I feel so selfish for feeling like this coz I know alot of other peoples life are much harder than mine, what is wrong with me? How can I stop feeling like this.

thanks

Triker

Hi there, well done on your first post.:T

Re how your feeling, can you change your doctor. It does sound like you may be suffering from depression and it doesn't appear that your current doctor is hearing you.

Maybe some counselling may help, I think you may have to be a little more insistant with the doctors, perhaps write down how you feel and the physical symptons that go with these feelings like crying.

Good luck hun and keep us posted. x

ms.waterfall

Thanks for your reply.

I went to my GP a few weeks ago in tears about how I was feeling but she just told me to pull myself together, does she not think I would if I could? I guess I have just kind of lost confidence in DRs as I have been trying to get help for a couple of years but no one seems to take me seriously. Maybe I am just not very good at explaining my feelings.

I think councilling would help as it would be good to speak to someone about how I am feeling. How do I go about doing this? Do I have to be refered by a GP?

Curious_George_2

ms.waterfall wrote: »

I went to my GP a few weeks ago in tears about how I was feeling but she just told me to pull myself together,

I think councilling would help as it would be good to speak to someone about how I am feeling. How do I go about doing this? Do I have to be refered by a GP?

your GP said what? find a new doctor, or ask to see someone else at your surgery, im sure its not the same the world over but i refuse to see the only female doctor at our surgery, infact i have often asked for someone else when the receptionists try to appoint me to her for something, she is such a cow! and if i wanted to be told to "pull myself together" then i would have asked my mother for advice! lol

have you considered a phone line, maybe an IBS speciality helpline (or a forum... there must be one) im sure your not alone,
or maybe even pouring everything out to people like the samaritans would help you, and they may be able to recommend what you do next...

good luck with everything

Triker

Hi, well I think your doctor needs a little retraining in her bedside manner, apalling that, to be told to pull yourself together.

Is it possible that you can see someone else, do they have different drs at your surgery? Can you register somewhere else.

Another option maybe to have a look in the yellow pages, in the front pages they usually have a list of helplines for people in your position, I've just had a look in mine but they are regional and I live in Yorkshire, don't know whereabouts you are located in the country.

I would suggest that you have a look in these and ring to gain advice.

You are actively seeking help and support for yourself as you know that you aren't happy with how you feel, so therefore get a little more of that strength hun and make a call. I reckon one of these helplines or support services will be able to hlep you or at least point you in the right direction. xx

ms.waterfall

I think I will have to make an appointment with another GP. I think partly the problem is that I am not good at talking about my feelings. To other people I always come across as a really happy person even though that is not always how I am feeling. I am a very smiley person especially when I am nervous so prehaps when I try and talk about it they dont take me seriously because I am grinning if you see what I mean.

I dont want to sound all sorry for myself but I think there must be something wrong with me as my family doesnt really want to know me - I dont know why and it just feel like everyone I have ever got close to has tried to hurt me in the past. The only person I have is my BF but I am so scared because if we ever split up then I will be all on my own with no-one. I have spoken to him about this and he knows all the stuff that has happened in the past and is so understanding bless him and he assures me he is not going to leave me but I then worry by keep saying stuff like that, that I am going to drive him away. I think he gets confused sometimes too as I can go from being this happy person to getting really down and spending a whole day crying.

I am really sorry for waffling on, I just dont want to feel like this anymore.

Triker

Hey sweetie, your not waffling on, your trying to find a way out of feeling wretched, thats your survival instinct, the one that keeps searching for answers and seeking support.

Don't know if you'd want to try this but I've found it brilliant for me especially when I don't feel that I'm functioning too well.

Paul Mckenna's change your life in 7 days, book and cd. I got mine from asda for about £7.00.

It really helps you to re fcus on what areas of your life you wish to tackle rather than feeling completely overwhelmed. The cd is very relaxing and I personally use this to focus myself and relax enough to try to think things through clearly. Just a suggestion.

Ok, re the gp, ring and INSIST on a different GP, then write everything down, including the bit which you have just written about that you come across as a smiley, happy person but inside your not.

Ring a helpline for some tips and support.

You'll be ok, it's just trying to access the right support for yourself thats the difficult bit. XXX

positivelymummy

sorry to hear how you're feeling. i would recommend looking at www.patient.co.uk site and looking up the patient experience on IBS, i've just started using this site and found it helpful to hear other peoples experiences etc. like others said i would go back to the dr's (i know its nerve racking) to explain how low you really feel, and i know a lot of folk recommend counselling, i have to say counselling is great! you might even want to try and see if there's a local group in your area that meets re; depression etc, i know there's one where i live, its a great support network. well done for posting on the forum and being brave enought to share your personal feelings.

ms.waterfall

thanks for your replies.

I guess its just getting the guts to go to speak to someone. Its weird alot of the time I feel OK but then something will remind me of something that happened in the past and then I feel really bad again. Then Im OK again and feeling positive about things and I feel stupid for feeling bad, I keep going round in circles. Does that make sense?

belfastgirl23

Hi there

Just to say I think you're thinking too much

I'm inclined towards these negative and self critical thoughts too. I find that keeping busy really helps a lot as does keeping active and getting some physical exercise. I've noticed over the last few years that these thoughts really plague me when I have time on my hands. So I try not to have time on my hands. I also really really notice the difference when I stop exercising, within a week or two I feel very down and very negative. I don't know if this would help you but I'm just letting you know my own experience. The other thing I do is very deliberately divert my thoughts when I feel myself thinking negative thoughts - even if it's just reciting french verbs or listing football players, anything to break the cycle. Might be worth a try?

Also have you considered joining an IBS support group? I think one of the problems with this illness is that it can be difficult to share experiences and it is worth seeking out others who understand properly. I'd bet there's an online forum if you don't fancy doing face to face yet.

Finally change your GP. Nuff said.

ktb

unfortunately there isn't a magic cure for either IBS or depression & no doctor can cure either in the long term with medication. But they are both conditions that you can do plenty for yourself. They are both affected greatly by lifestyle choices that you make.

I have suffered with IBS since I was 14... which was also made much worse by stress. After years of just living with it and getting little to no help from various GPs I took the bull by the horns and completely changed my diet. I would say that before I ate a very 'normal' diet... I ate what was easy, conveinent and just what I fancied... which looking back was crisps, coke, chips, pizza & lots of diary. Although I did also cook I ate quite a few ready-meals (even tho they were usually tesco finest etc) but when I cooked meals myself they would mostly contain meat & potatoes. I also, like most, enjoyed caffeine & booze but these were mega triggers for my symptoms. I dont know how you eat at the moment, but it has made such a difference changing to an orgainc, whole food diet. I make every single meal from scratch, using whole food ingedients, dont eat any white bread, pasta or rice, have mostly cut out carbs & potoates etc. I also have massively limited my caffeine/booze intake.. but that can be a little harder sometimes!

Not only has it really helped my IBS but I now feel so in control of it all, which has in turn helped the stress factor. Depending on your current lifestyle, it isn't necessarily an easy step but it has been so worthwile for me I can't recommend it enough. There are tons of resources online & books you can read. I'm reading *Eat To Live* at the moment which is excellent (ignore the weight loss bit.. it is mainly about healthy eating).

As for the depression & being frightened about being alone.. you mustn't live your life in fear - it is so unhealthy & nothing good can come from it. Take whatever steps you can to beat the depression (i'm sure plenty of people will have advice about that) but perhaps taking control of something as simple as your diet might give you a little more confidence to take control of other things in your life. I know that it did for me.

Good luck...