Young people who live with you part of the time and their keep

richardw

Perhaps do some maths and work out what they actually cost.

tillyenna

I would say there are a couple of other things to consider - what is she paying where she lives the other third of the time? (I'm guessing with her other parent - although apologies if that is not the case) perhaps you could discuss with them and come up with some sort of arrangement that she pays them twice what she pays you, and it totals to average (or less than average) rent for your area


Or, perhaps you could just take 'keep' from her, charge her for food, ask for a contribution towards bills - she's 18, I imagine she'd appreciate being treated like an adult and being part of this conversation :-)

duchy

If your partner was the NRP and she simply is still coming to stay at weekends rather than she is staying at yours to facilitate getting to work I'd tred carefully.

She may take offence and simply stop staying. It is a different situation to the resident children especially as she is costing you less now as your partner presumably paid child support for her until recently so you are actually now better off. The same doesn't apply to the resident children, you will lose CB and possibly tax credits when they are "adult" so unlike your step daughter them continuing to live at home costs you more.

It sounds a bit petty to charge her to be honest but if you are happy to risk her stopping staying altogether ask for rent . Personally I wouldn't do it I'd just ask her to contribute in another way ......like cook a family meal or buy a takeaway for everyone once a week. As for laundry....she's eighteen she can do her own.

Would you and more importantly her parent and siblings be upset if she stopped staying ? I noticed there were lots of "I " and not much "we" in your post. What is your partners opinion?

Tiddlywinks

Cor - give her a chance to work a month or two, enjoy her pay packet and work out her own budget before 'pouncing' on her earnings.

schwam66

did you or your partner save any of the monthly child benefit you received for each child(think we get 80 odd for the first and 50ish for the second)? or was it all used on the bills and that when needed? just curious cuz if you need the money that much was curious if you just dip into that rather than making her take a cut of her wages....

i in no way support parents that charge their kids rent whether they have a full time job or part time job, but if this is something you feel you NEED to do i would certainly sit down with her and the other kids and say she is going to pay and the others will have to as well once they start working, work out what you plan on charging weekly for the ones that live there fulltime then break it down into a day rate for the one that is there a third of the time.....

edit: 80 and 50 was monthly

JennyRowling

Instead of making the eldest girl pay money, make her do chores, maybe buy groceries, or pay a bill or two. It's at least one idea better then having to pay rent.

Pricivius

I think you definitely need to speak to whoever she spends two-thirds of the time with and figure out what to do. If you start charging and they don't, she will feel pushed out and will stay with them and vice versa.

I would also suggest that at 18, maybe she's wondering when she can stop this shared residence arrangement without hurting anyone. Does she feel she has to keep living in both houses or does she want to? It may be worth a chat to clarify her plans. Maybe her and BF are planning to move out to a place of their own shortly...

Marshmallow82

I don't understand, where is she the other 2/3s?

She shouldn't be allowed to keep on a room, let one of the younger children have their own room for a while

aileth

Where does she spend the other two thirds?

I wouldn't charge her if she's only there a third of the time. However, I would ask for payment in other ways, e.g. either buying her own food, alternatively each time she's there maybe cooking a meal for the family, whacking some clothes in the washing machine, little things that help you out but really don't impact her greatly.

I wouldn't want to be getting a calculator out and working out an hourly or daily cost of her staying there!!

Transformers

Marshmallow82 wrote: »

I don't understand, where is she the other 2/3s?

She shouldn't be allowed to keep on a room, let one of the younger children have their own room for a while

Shouldn't be allowed to keep her room?

For the last few years she's been a victim of circumstances beyond her control ie she's had to live shared across two homes.

Now you want to take her room away as well? Just because she has just turned 18 and has now got a job?

Great start to adult life that is - happy birthday, now give up your room - nice!