One wish, to see the light at the end of the tunnel

Amethyst31

Hi all,

My first time of doing something like this, so please be kind. I am three years into my IVA, it is tough. The years of recrimination of myself for being so stupid when I was younger. The fear of being judged stings me hard.

The inability to be able to enjoy the simple things in life. I have fallen a bit behind with the IVA but am sorting that out.

At a time when bills and food is getting evermore expensive, the bills still feel like they are drowning me. However I don't want my IVA to fail.

Everyday I wake up worried, I work so very hard and long hours. My colleagues and friends seem to enjoy their lives and I just seem to be trying to keep my head above water.

Don't get me wrong, I am usually a 'can do' sort of person. At the moment I am not so much.

I keep thinking of all the things in life I miss out on. Meals out, cinema, simple pleasures.

Hopefully this diary will help me turn it around, as it is all a bit of a mess at the moment.

Best Wishes

L x

satchmo1

Welcome Amethyst31, one thing you won't be on this forum is judged. We'll try to help with encouragement, ideas, suggestions and information, As you're 3 years into your IVA I'm not sure whether you need to post a SOA (statement of affairs) which is often what folk do when they start their diaries so that we can make suggestions for saving money or changing utility suppliers.


This is a great place to let of steam, which you might not be able to do to family or friends. I hope you've got someone on your side in real life, too. Those people going out all the time, you'd be amazed at how many of them have their heads firmly in the sand of debt denial.


There'll be others along soon to wish you luck on your journey.


Best wishes, Satchmo x

LAM2011

I agree with Satchmo - most of those people are also probably in debt but don't admit it.

Welcome to the boards - everyone on here is or has been in the same place where the debt gets them down and you have keep plodding and know that one day it will be gone.

I am not clued up on IVA - how many years do you still have left? Keep posting and keep reading the diaries always lots of tips, encouragement and shoulders to cry on when you need them.

Good luck.

Amethyst31

Thank you, just to know there are like minded people helps somewhat.

I live with my partner who at the moment is unemployed but looking for work, although he suffers from depression. So the full extent of the household falls on me.

The IVA should in usual circumstances last for five years. It takes upwards of 6 years for the credit file to be repaired in my understanding.

I keep telling myself that I am over halfway, to try and put a positive spin on things.

Amethyst31

Well I have at least made a start. I have signed up to a few survey type sites so will have to see if they anything.

On another positive note, I am aiming not to spend anything today. I cooked beef casserole yesterday in the slow cooker and there is plenty left, even have some Jacket Potatoes in to go with it.

Maybe I can do this albeit very slowly!

So as I said above I am on an IVA. The problem is at the moment I am behind with all utilities including Council tax. So I have to think of a plan to get all of those under control.:mad:

HOK3Y

Hello Amethyst, no judgement here. You are in good company and most of us on this board understand well how it feels to have large amounts of debt hanging over you and the dips this can lead to psychologically. Hang in there and let your frustrations out - you will find nothing but support here.


Very, very best of wishes to you. It will get better as long as you keep going forward. Honestly.

Amethyst31

Well something really strange has happened, there is a bright thing shining through my window - I think it goes by the name of Sun. Long time no see my friend.

Feeling a bit brighter and positive this morning. It is the only way I am going to get through this I feel.

Off to my Mum's later for a cuppa and to see her puppy. Takes my mind of things at least.

Going to do Roast Chicken dinner later, still some leftover veggies and hopefully be able to turn the left over chicken into something tomorrow. Time to start thinking smart foodwise methinks. The number of things that get left in the fridge and go in the bin is countless

Onwards and upwards, finding the surveys boring but needs must when the bills come a calling.

Have a good day everyone.

StressedSteph

Hi Amethyst.


I have no knowledge of how an IVA works, but on the falling behind with utility bills - Do you have anything you could stick on Ebay? Could your other half maybe pick up a evening shelf stacking job? - I know his health issues might make that an issue, but just ideas running through my head.


Keep posting your thoughts and daily issues on here, it helps to offload whats in your head, your MSE diary is often the only place where you can freely offload without judgement.


If you want any help with cutting down your weekly food shop, pop to the old Style money saving threads. The Grocery challenge has loads of good recipes in it that might help keep food costs down. This is often the only place where a big difference can be made.


Keep going. Enjoy the sunshine xx

satchmo1

I used to have the most usefuly useful book from usefulville that eventually fell apart from over-use. It was called "Left Over for Tomorrow" and you could find a recipe by the leftover ingredients to hand. Twas marvellous. Sadly, its out of print and costs a fortune on bay of e.

Amethyst31

Well I am a bit anxious this evening. I seem to swing from one extreme to the other. Either really positive or feeling like it is all impossible.

Managed to spend the bare minimum today, rice to go with the leftover chicken as had a curry sauce in the cupboard.

As I said previously have fallen behind with the bills, the real reason that brought me to MSE is that I received a summons for council tax last week. Feel absolutely terrified and dreadful about it and first time such a thing has happened to me.

My fault entirely I fell behind, I need to be up early as I get paid and going to pay them all they ask for. I really don't want to go to court about it.

I am frightened about what they will say and no doubt won't sleep much tonight. Wonder if they will still go to court on the 28th if I have paid all my dues?

Hopefully another thing to check off the list by the end of tomorrow though, have also done another couple of surveys.

First day back at work after a week off today and I am exhausted already, doesn't bode well for the rest of the week.

Fmess

Hi

I wouldn't lose any sleep over it, they will be happy if they get their money tomorrow and I am almost certain that'll be the end of the matter. They won't want to waste time and money going to court if it is all sorted.

I once hadn't paid council tax for 6 months as I thought I had setup the direct debit and my finances were so bad I didn't notice. I called them up and asked to pay double for the following 6 months and they were happy.

I hope you get a restful nights sleep. Keep thinking positive thoughts, you are more than half the way through your IVA and are doing really well.