Wife trying force through sale of the family home

playaz

My friend is going through a really bad time - he just found out his wife of 20 years has been cheating on him for some time.

Not surprisingly he is devastated, and the relationship is beyond repair. They haven't divorced but have lived apart for a few months, apparently he cannot proceed with a divorce for 2 years.

His wife has been very nasty about the whole situation, and is trying to get him to sell the family home as she is purely interested in 'getting her half' (her own words). She hasn't contributed anywhere near what he has over the term, and she is the direct cause of the divorce.

As he is a bit or emotional wreck I don't want him doing something drastic that he might regret later on, I've told him to try and delay selling the property for as long as possible. He would happily buy out her share but it isn't viable financially.

Can anyone advise me on the situation, I'm not even married myself yet so I know nothing about this kind of situation.

I know this can be a bit of a hot topic - please I'm not here to start any flaming or anything like that I just want some advice to give him before he does go to a divorce lawyer.

Is there anyway his wife can 'force' through the sale of the house? It is in both their names, if he can delay it would it benefit him trying to divide his assets while going through the official divorce proceedings?

Any advice would be welcomed

thorsoak

If they have been married for 20 years, and his wife has committed adultery, there is no reason why he cannot sue for divorce immediately.

He needs to talk to a solicitor.

Person_one

The reasons for the divorce are irrelevant when it comes to deciding on the financials.

Agree with the above, a solicitor is the person to talk to.

bryanb

Are children involved?

RAS

Hi

He can get a divorce on the grounds of breakdown NOW if he wishes providing she agrees to sign the divorce papers.

These can be downloaded here https://www.gov.uk/divorce/file-for-divorce

What he has to sort out is a financial settlement and clean breaK order. That means once she get her share, she cannot come back and ask for another bite at the cherry.

He can do the divorce bit himself by paying the court fees. He would be well advised to at least see a solicitor about the consent order and find out what they think she will get.

Contributions in are irrelevant; the basic assumption is 50% of all marital assets and debts to each party. That includes the house, pensions if they have large pension pots and any credit card debts that were run up supporting the family.

They are not interest in whose fault it is that the relationship failed.

If she gave up work to raise children, then she might get more than 50%. If he has taken out lots of debts to pay for extension etc, then she would get less of the house because he would get something towards paying those off.

playaz

bryanb wrote: »

Are children involved?

There is a single child, although they are in their 20's so they would be classed as an adult.

RAS

playaz wrote: »

There is a single child, although they are in their 20's so they would be classed as an adult.

No dependents then.

Tigsteroonie

playaz wrote: »

Not surprisingly he is devastated, and the relationship is beyond repair. They haven't divorced but have lived apart for a few months, apparently he cannot proceed with a divorce for 2 years.

thorsoak wrote: »

If they have been married for 20 years, and his wife has committed adultery, there is no reason why he cannot sue for divorce immediately..

As above. Either can divorce the other on the grounds of Unreasonable Behaviour, no delay necessary.

playaz wrote: »

She hasn't contributed anywhere near what he has over the term, and she is the direct cause of the divorce.

Word of warning to your friend - the above is not relevant.

Financial Proceedings are a separate court process to the Divorce. Blame for the divorce has no bearing on the division of marital assets. (Only if they've gambled away all the money will the court consider a more punitive division!) As for who has contributed what, income and expenditure are generally considered "joint" during the marriage as each brings in what they can - that ensures that stay-at-home Mums aren't disadvantaged by the wage-earning Dads taking the larger share on divorce.

I would suggest that your friend look at the Wikivorce website & forum for information about the process.

[Apologies for repetition - other respondents writing similar stuff while I was working on this long post!]

playaz

RAS wrote: »

No dependents then.

None although the daughter is closer to himself than the mother, although I guess this won't matter so much with the divorce courts.

I'm just feel for him, she has put him through a lot and I've no doubt a lot of debt too. Personally I don't think she should get half but then it isn't up to me.

The whole situation puts me off marriage altogether!?

justme111

playaz wrote: »

None although the daughter is closer to himself than the mother, although I guess this won't matter so much with the divorce courts.

I'm just feel for him, she has put him through a lot and I've no doubt a lot of debt too. Personally I don't think she should get half but then it isn't up to me.

The whole situation puts me off marriage altogether!?

Eh? What do you mean - "put through a lot"? He is a responsible adult , not an object. I see , having to share assets in the event of divorce puts you off an idea of a marriage.

January20

playaz wrote: »

None although the daughter is closer to himself than the mother, although I guess this won't matter so much with the divorce courts.

I'm just feel for him, she has put him through a lot and I've no doubt a lot of debt too. Personally I don't think she should get half but then it isn't up to me.

The whole situation puts me off marriage altogether!?

You've only got you friend's side of the story and you have no idea what really happened during their married time together. He may have told you he was the perfect husband. He may well believe that and it may well have been true, but the wife may have a different opinion. You will not decide whether she should get half or not! thankfully as you seem a little naive. Support your friend but don't be judge, jury and executor of the wife.