It's been a long 5 years, but there's definitely light at the end of this tunnel!

cherrylips30

The realisation finally hit me at the airport about to board a plane for Australia, there was no way the credit card application I'd just made would be successful. But, I was on the way to spend my birthday snorkelling the Great Barrier Reef, there was no way I was going to worry about it now!!

Fast forward to January 2009, I'd got my S*** together and had contacted PayPlan, the DMP was to start the following month. I was £30,000 in debt :eek:

It's not been easy, but since then, slowly but surely the debt has come down, I now have just 3 payments left. In just a few short months, I'll finally be able to plan for the future and throw the money that's been spent on debt repayments, at something much more fun!!

The last 5 years have quite possibly been the most challenging of my life to date, relationship breakup, diagnosed with Bipolar, birth of beautiful niece, found the love of my life, fathers cancer diagnosis, huge promotion and sadly the untimely death of my father just last year. 2013 was quite possibly the worst year on record. It seems not just for me either - so many people really did have the most rotten luck. Anyway, it's over, it's 2014 and we have today and tomorrow to look forward to.

During the last few weeks of my fathers life, I wrote daily in a diary as a means of release, I'd previously underestimated the therapeutic benefits of scribbling away, for no-one to read. I've been lurking on MSE for 4 or 5 years, rarely passing comment and thought I'd try my hand here. Probably for no-one to read, but hey ho!! If it keeps me and my spending on track, then that's a positive.

I think that's enough for now, don't want to scare anyone who is reading away , i'll be back to explain how I could be so stupid and get into £30k worth of debt!!

Thanks for popping by :wave:

Non_compos_mentis

CL30,

Sorry to hear that you have had such a rough year. I can truly empathise with you. When you have had the kind of year you have, the only way is up. I also know what you mean when you talk about therapeutic benefits of scribbling away, for no-one to read. I do the same even though I don't right particularly well.

You have come an extremely long way and I hope you are able to make the most of diary on here. If you are ever having one of those crap days that we invariably do once in a while, then just "remember how far you've come, not just how far you have to go."

NCM

cherrylips30

Hi NCM,

Thanks for reading. I've tried to keep thinking positively throughout all of the trials and tribulations and there really have been some great points too. It's be easy to forget these, but I can't say it's all been bad. Thank you for your support.

So, how did I get into this situation? The top and tale of it is...credit cards. From the day I turned 18, it's been how I lived. I went to Uni and figured I didn't need to work, I could live off my savings, student loan and credit cards and concentrate on my studies. Mistake number 1.
I hated Uni and cheered myself up by spending. Enjoying holidays and expensive clothes and shoes, rather than living like a true student. Since then, thankfully i've always worked, earning a fairly decent wage, but still enjoyed the lifestyle I wanted, rather than the lifestyle I could afford. Mistake number 2.
Then, at 22 came my own car and home, both swallowing money like there was no tomorrow, but almost 14 years later, the house is renovated and the mortgage is coming down. I didn't "stretch" myself with the mortgage - I was only earning £15k at the time, but it was a start and it's one of the better decisions I made. That and being adamant about having a repayment mortgage - I wanted to see the balance reducing. Mistake number 3.
I kept consolidating my credit card debt, by taking out loans, then re-mortgaging as my salary increased. I never learned my lesson. Whatever I wanted, I had, I just bought it on credit. It was inevitable that my luck would run out.

But, I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I've been lucky enough to keep my job, keep my house, keep my car. There is no-one to blame but myself (and the banks for continuing to approve my credit applications on my salary - but that's another story!!). It was my own desire to live for the now and enjoy myself, rather than planning for the future.

So, that's the next step.
How I finally learn to save and live within my means at the same time as providing for my future.

I'll be back

Non_compos_mentis

Hi CL

Your positive attitude certainly comes across in your posts and the steps you have taken. Keep thinking positively.

My story is a case study in stupidity since a very young age. I too hated uni and I picked up bad habits, overspent and did things I shouldn't have. I have nothing (not even happy memories) to show for my stupidity except debt. As they say you live and learn but it was certainly an exceptionally expensive lesson that I could have done without.

I am in the process of finally taking steps to address the huge debt. It will be a slow and painful journey. My personal life has also changed significantly... I guess it is a total make over for me.

NCM

cherrylips30

Hi NCM,

I'm a true believer in "everything happens for a reason". What we have faced in the past has been to teach us a lesson. Until we learn that lesson, we'll keep making the same mistakes. Whether it be money, food, relationships, jobs - anything. If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got.

Life so far, really has been a roller coaster for so many reasons, some of which are self made and some of which are purely circumstantial, however, I also believe that we are never given anything in this life that we cannot handle. Wow - i'm full of cliches this morning! Probably the result of so many "get your life back on track" books!!

The important thing is that you realise there is something in your life that isn't quite right. We all have to start somewhere, you simply choose where your beginning is.

Do you really not have any memories to remind you that there were good times? Think hard, it could be simply having a lovely stress free afternoon with good friends or those you love. Those times in themselves are huge! Many of mine are small but significant moments like that. The best being my nieces naming ceremony. She is a long awaited IVF baby and she is so loved, she makes my heart melt every time I see her.

I've had huge amazing memories too. Out of this world holidays - NYC, Australia, Borneo, Rome, Venice, Ireland. Shopping sprees that would make your eyes water, but, the difference this time, has been that fact that I was spending cash and not credit. I love handing over cash much more than I ever did credit cards - it's so empowering!! Knowing that I've worked damn hard to earn the money, then seriously considering whether I want to spend it!

One thing about a DMP, is that I've been able to ensure I do have a bit left over to enjoy myself. So whilst I could have thrown all of my spare cash at my debts to clear them faster, I chose to enjoy the journey to debt freedom by giving myself some leeway. Have you started your debt free marathon or are you still in the early stages of pulling it all together?

I have no doubt that I could quite easily slip back into my old ways once my DMP is finished. That's why I've decided I'll never own another credit card. It would be so easy to find myself in the same situation in another 10 years. I know I don't want that. I want a healthy savings balance, so that when little ones arrive, I can provide them with a lovely, healthy, happy life, not one of having to stretch every pound to make ends meet.

And so it begins.
This month, there will be 5% personal contribution to my work pension. Planning for the long term.
This month, there will be £200 going to my savings account, my budget for the month ahead is already in place.

I can cut out buying my lunch at work during the week - this will save me £25 per week - £100 per month.

I will cut out Costa coffee treats on a saturday, I can have them at home with my tassimo machine, any time I wish! Saving £5 per week (I buy my mum one too), saving £20 per month.

The remaining £80 will come from just not wasting money on Carp!!

Wish me luck....

cherrylips30

The final statements are coming in showing very little left....one more payment to go and it's gone! All of it...

Already I'm deciding how the next few years of my life will pan out. First thing's first, is to drop to a 4 day working week. I need to speak to my employer with regards to the logistics of this, but I'm happy to either make up the time lost throughout the other 4 days or, drop a days salary . I am going to justify this step back by looking after my mental health and needing to take time for myself to come to terms with all that has happened in my personal life the last few years. I work damn hard, so I hope they will be understanding, plus it will allow my trainee assistant the chance to shine.
I am currently also mid University application. I'm ready for a career change (i've been in the current one for 16 years) and I'm losing the passion I've had for so long. I'm tired of helping people to make money. I want to help people to help themselves have a better life. So I'm looking into Social Worker courses. My choice would be to study part time, which will be funded by my full time job, however I do have options here. I could study full time, but I'd need to sell my house to fund it. Or work full time and bank the cash until the course starts, then switch to studying full time and working part time, to keep me going. So many choices, all that need proper investigation, so that's my plan for the weekend. Well, that and cleaning!! I let my cleaner go last month as I have more time on my hands since losing my dad, and felt guilty that I was spending £120 per month on a luxury of a cleaner, when since my lodger moved out in October, there's only me and my mess here! So, out come the scrubbing gloves...

I do have some volunteering experience over the last 3-4 years, and I've secured the chance to shadow some of the full time charity workers next month, which will all support my application. Would love to hear from any social workers or current social work students that might be reading, who might be able to give me an insight into their jobs and passions. Thanks in advance!

cherrylips30

I managed to get halfway through my Uni application yesterday, just need to work on my personal statement to make sure I get my foot in the door for an interview.
Have been a busy bee sorting donations out for charity this morning, just stopped for a spot of lunch, then heading back upstairs to clear through my wardrobes...

Have to go to the hospital tomorrow for another ovarian scan, it seems as though I may have another cyst developing on my remaining ovary - which is not good news. If it is the case, it could throw all my plans up in to the air, as I may have to consider having a child as soon as possible, or not having any at all if they have to remove the ovary. I think this on top of everything else, is getting me down a little, as have been really low over the weekend. My bipolar is pretty well controlled and this will be the first time in a while that it's got to me. I reckon it's just an accumulation of recent events, but I must keep any eye on it. Problem is, I can't even consider getting pregnant whilst i'm on the meds i'm on. I'm waiting for an appointment with my pysch to see if we can make a more suitable change. Hopefully that will help with the weight loss too.

Right, i'm off to tackle wardrobes. Wish me luck!!

cherrylips30

So, fast forward 5 months, things have changed ever so slightly for me...

My house is up for sale, i'm off my bipolar meds, i'm moving in with my OH and we're preparing ourselves for a baby - not that I'm pregnant just yet, but we're doing everything we can to prepare our bodies for making one!! Losing weight, healthy eating, saving money - planning our future, it's so exciting!!

I'm still looking to retrain, but given the commitment it needs, university at the same time as trying for/having a baby, isn't realistic. So instead, the new plan is to save every month towards maternity leave support, the proceeds of the house sale will also possibly go towards this, or maybe an extension at my OH house, or maybe even a deposit on upgrading to a new family home. The point is, and huge difference to the past 5 years, that this will all be made possible by having finally gotten rid of the debts. There is no way, I could have achieved any of my new dreams with that anchor around my neck :-(

I have also started a part time business, which has involved training intensively for VTCT & FHT qualifications - I am loving every minute of this, which also means I can supplement my income when the time comes that will also fit very nicely around any bubbas. I'm practicing like mad and hoping to build up a lovely little "word of mouth" network of clients.

This studying has meant that I've had to spend roughly £2k, rather that adding it to the savings pot, but I see it as an investment in my future, plus I'll be able to offset the costs against my new business venture :-)

Life is looking up!!!

beanielou

Life is looking good indeed