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Separation / divorce

Hi, I haven't been on here for years, but my sister reminded me of what a wealth of knowledge there is out there so I will throw myself upon you mercy once more! :o

My husband and I have decided to separate with the future aim of divorce. It has taken over 10 yrs of soul searching to get to this point.

I am 43, have 2 children 17 and 20 in apprenticeship and Uni but both still living at home for the foreseeable future.

We joint own our home but as I work part time I don't think I will be able to buy him out and stay in the house.

To complicate things further I am also recovering from Breast cancer. Some people have all the luck huh!!

Its rubbish i know but i am pretty useless at all the financial side of things since I married at 18 my husband has taken care of all the bills etc so treat me like a small child when explaining things :(

I basically don't quite know where to start, how to find out what I need to do. What I am entitled to regards splitting the property and possibly benefits and a million other things I probably haven't even thought of yet so please, if anyone has been through similar and can give me any advice I would be very grateful.

Thanks,
clumsymoo
'Experience is the name everybody gives to their mistakes' Oscar Wilde

Comments

  • RAS
    RAS Posts: 33,847 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    You must open your own sole bank account immediately if you do not already have one. Get joint account closed urgently as your ex can run them down, run up overdrafts and you will be reponsible for the debt.

    The situation for the children will get a lot harder very quickly; as neither are in full-time secondary education the state expects them to contribute towards the household expenses and you will not be able to claim any benefits for them.

    Check www.turn2us.org.uk to see what help you can get but it will be much better if you can work 30 hours or more per week; this will go up to 35hours when Universal credit comes in unless your health is such that they accept some conditions apply in your case.
    The person who has not made a mistake, has made nothing
  • clumsymoo
    clumsymoo Posts: 56 Forumite
    Thanks RAS,
    I have my own account and we have a joint account and he has one for business.
    We can keep the house going for a while and he is still living at home. All the mortgage / bills are paid from our joint account.

    I am a Teaching Assistant and have asked that I be considered to go full time but it won't be until Sept earliest. I am currently 19 1/2 hrs a week.

    It's on my list to check on that website, I got half way through and got stuck on a question so I need to find out some info and try again. The CAB also gave me a phone number for Turn2us which they use for benefit checks. Both on tomorrow's to do list.
    No legal aid any more but I have rung my Union who are going to ring me back tomorrow and I have an Employee assistant program which has e mailed me some info on divorce.
    'Experience is the name everybody gives to their mistakes' Oscar Wilde
  • NAR
    NAR Posts: 4,863 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    If you are forced to sell the house what equity (current value - current outstanding mortgage) is there available if any?

    You need to think where you (and kids) are going to live. Might be best to get on social housing list, depending on whether or not you can afford to rent. Unless there is a lot of equity to come from current property it is unlikely you are going to be able to get a mortgage.
  • clumsymoo
    clumsymoo Posts: 56 Forumite
    We have had one valuation in the house for £320,000 we still owe about £50, 000 so I am hoping I may have enough to rent for a while till I can maximise my earnings. I have an appt with a mortgage advisor next week to see what I may be able to afford to buy
    'Experience is the name everybody gives to their mistakes' Oscar Wilde
  • NAR
    NAR Posts: 4,863 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    That leaves you in a more optimistic situation with regards the property outlook. Further down the line the division of matrimonial assets, incl the business, all savings etc, and pensions may leave you in a better situation than you currently think.
  • clumsymoo
    clumsymoo Posts: 56 Forumite
    Oh I do hope so, I find the whole thing terrifying. Thanks :j
    'Experience is the name everybody gives to their mistakes' Oscar Wilde
  • clumsymoo
    clumsymoo Posts: 56 Forumite
    I have a telephone appointment with my Unions legal aid team next Friday 19th so I need to start gathering questions to ask.
    'Experience is the name everybody gives to their mistakes' Oscar Wilde
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