dont know where to turn now

Wednesday_girl

Hello, im asking for advice because I think I have really hit the bottom now with debts. I have kept everything hidden from my partner, and made the big mistake of borrowing from pdl companies to mask that we were paying out more and more each month. I get paid £1400 per month and this is used to pay the mortgage, utility bills, car finance etc. My partner gets paid weekly and we use this for groceries, petrol, his train tickets etc. I have been borrowing more and more from 2 pdl companies over the last few months, leaving me shorter and shorter for money to pay the other bills. Now this month I owe them 1600.

On top of this, I have a halifax overdraft that was 550, but they charged me £5 per day for being 50p over the limit for 30 days, stupidly i thought this wouldnt be classed as over the limit and what would have been so easily corrected - ive never got ontop of - so now I owe 900 on this. Again my partner does not know about this.

Even though he has no idea about these debts, i dont spend any money without him knowing, this has all accumulated from trying to juggle different payments eg. Car tax, mot, increasing food bills, increasing petrol prices etc. We dont go out or buy new clothes etc.

I really dont know what to do this month. I have fallen behind with my gas bill and british gas have sent a letter saying they will cut me off or fit a meter. Im terrified of this! Ive had treatment for cancer and im quite underweight now, so feel the cold really easily. Im guessing that a gas meter is more expensive than the pay monthly type? I have tried to cut back on grocery shopping so much - gone from 70 per week to 35, but I feel like im hungry all the time lol!

Does anyone think its a good idea to cancel the wonga and quick quid payments at the end of the month, and use the 1400 pay I will get to get back on top of my monthly bills ? Or should i pay them a token payment? Or use my wage to clear my halifax overdraft so this doesnt keep mounting up?

I will post a SOA any advice much appreciated x

harrys_dad

Hard though it will be in my view the first thing to do is to tell your partner. You are a couple, with shared income and shared expenditure, and need to sort this out between you. You also need the mutual support hat a good relationship offers. Clearly you cannot afford to pay off the PDLs, and must make sure you do not get your gas disconnected.

Once you have posted your SOA (which in my view needs to be a joint one) others will have advice on reducing expenditure.

If you have any intention of defaulting on the PDLs, or asking them for a payment arrangement, then open a basic bank account immediately with a different bank, and make sure your next pay check goes in there before they empty all your wages out.

Wednesday_girl

Thanks, I know I need to tell him. I tend to bury my head in the sand and hope it will all go away. Obviously it wont! We have a daughter who is four and a mortgage so we shouldn't have any secrets I know. I plan to get all the paperwork out on friday and get actual figures for a SOA. I will look into a new bank also. I hate not being able to pay them, but I dont think I have any other choice this month, I need to break this cycle.

fevlo

I dont know about Wonga but contact quickquid befor the payment is due and tell them you wont be able to make it.
They will let you enter into what they call a Pre-Default payment plan. They wont split it over any more then 4 months but that might give you a bit of breathing space.
Like I said, I dont know about Wonga as ive never had a loan with them but when I needed a payment plan with Cash Genie they let me pay over 8 months and where surprisingly very helpful.

Also....It will be really hard, but tell your partner, I used to hide my debts from my partner but its very hard when letter after letter drops through the door.
Its the best thing I ever did, well, second to facing up to my debts anyway. I no longer fear the constant letters or even the late night knock at the door of a doorstep collector because I know im in controll of my debts and sorting them out.

With regards to British Gas, have you phoned them ? Again they may look to let you pay in installments. Dont let it get as far as them installing a pre pay meter.

Finally, well done for posting on here, the fact that you have come here means you know you need help and have made the first step in the right direction.

Thisisme_3

I'm only on day one of my journey so I have no advice really but I wanted to send you lots of love as I totally understand how hard it can be x

eyeopener2

Hi, you need to tell your partner and believe me it's hard but it will be the best thing in the long run. He will find out anyway so you may as well tell him.

Regarding the payday loans, change your bank and then contact them all - just in case they revert to their old tricks of clearing your account. Yes wonga did this to me.

You have to break the cycle, forget all things like guilt or credit ratings and what numb nut creditors may say or write, you have to break the cycle then rebuild your life.

Your partner will be angry but he will calm down, probably become all super money zealous and watching every penny!

Good luck.

Thrifty_Pixie

you really need your utilities and to eat, so if you can live with some defaults on your credit history:

1) tell your partner
2) open a basic current account and change everything over
3) stop all payments to the PDL and contact them offering a payment plan

the first point here is very important to do and to do FIRST as not only do you sound like you need your partner's support, but as you have joint finances with them (mortgage) your credit history is affecting theirs. it might be that they won't want you to default and you can talk about other options.

good luck, and let us know how you get on

Wednesday_girl

Thankyou everyone for your kind words, it really feels better getting it all out! I have spent the morning sorting through piles and piles of unopened letters, even cleaned up an old tin filing case that my grandad gave me! I have a nice pile of paper to go in the chimenea this weekend! Feels good to be more organised, and breakthrough....when the postman came this morning I took a deep breath and actually opened 2letters.

One was from british gas they have passed the debt to a collection agency, advantis, so at least for now I know they're not cutting me off. The other was from the car insurance, my direct debit failed....thats another problem, but I will get it sorted.

Im going to go out now and do a bit of food shopping and buy some light bulbs ( for some reason I have not let myself buy light bulbs and as each one has gone weve been swapping them round the house, moving lamps, and the house is getting darker and darker) think a bit of light will cheer me up!!

I did the budget brain calculator and it says we should be £150 up each month. If I can get a plan for these pay day loans I will feel better. So when I come back im going to write it all down and start a new post in debt free diarys. I have over a week until they are due out so hopefully can be one step ahead.

The_Boss

Just don't resort to any further loans or PDLs and sort out the existing debts first.

Are any if these joint accounts with your partner? If so you definitely need to discuss with him sooner or later as it will affect his ability to get credit and it would be better for him to hear about this from you than anybody else.

Wednesday_girl

Hi, I am going to talk to my partner this weekend. We dont share a bank account and the mortgage is in his sole name. Long story, but when I had the cancer I was told I wouldnt be able to apply for a mortgage ( by the hospital), its actually just life insurance I cant get which wouldnt have mattered. But we got the mortgage just based on my partners income so if anything happened to me he can afford it on his own. Not sure what happens if anything happened to him though, i suppose they would throw me out! ....another thing we have to think about.... getting him life insurance and a will. I feel like we're so bad with finances, everythings all a mess

Thrifty_Pixie

Wednesday_girl wrote: »

The other was from the car insurance, my direct debit failed....thats another problem, but I will get it sorted.

don't forget that if the direct debit fails YOU ARE NOT INSURED. and as everything is automated online these days it might not be long before you get caught. therefore i would deal with this ASAP.

(unless SORNed you need to insure it - even if it's kept on a private driveway and not used)