I want a family, but I'm an adult. Is it possible?

Maureen43

Hello Ceebeeby,

I was really upset by your story, specifically at you being stuck in an unhappy marriage, although I understand completely why you have taken that decision.

You sound lovely and I reckon anyone would be lucky to have you as their adoptive mum/sister/auntie/whatever!

Since splitting with my husband last year I have come to realise that good friends can be "family" too, so try not to be too fixed about where your role will be in the future.

Hugs from me.

shell_girl

The Red Cross also have volunteer role profiles for people to befriend older people, or people who have come out of hospital recently. They have quite a few opportunities throughout the UK, hopefully there'll be something there for you?

Amanda65

Don't know if this would fit your requirements but a friend of mine used to host these monthly tea parties and said they were great

http://www.contact-the-elderly.org.uk/?gclid=CMukusLu4rUCFRDKtAodwHcAQg

tyllwyd

Have you looked at the 'do-it' website for volunteering opportunies? The other idea which occurred to me was joining the 'friends of' your local hospital. Or maybe just joining the local WI or similar to meet people of different agegroups.

My personal feeling is that setting out to create a 'new' family is probably putting too much pressure on yourself. I would concentrate on finding a group where you naturally meet older people as part of the group, and if a closer friendship comes about, that's great. Trying too hard might push people away, or you might rush into a situation where you encourage someone to rely on you when the underlying friendship isn't really there, if you see what I mean.

red_devil

if yopu volunteer to visit an old person they may be housebound so they may not be the type of person you are looking for. If you want someone active its not the best channel tbh. Your role is just to visit them and beware if they have children on the scene they dont always like it. I know cos i have done it.

You could tell this womans daughter didnt really like me going. Despite being a friend to her dear mum for years the daughter did not let me know when her mum had died i found out looking in the paper. Relatives do not always take kindly her son was alright though.

On one of the major parenting sites if you do a search there is a thread running called grandparents needed. If no good why not set something up yourself.

pearl123

I think I understand the way you feel ceebeeby. I will one day do similar to you and look into church/volunteering to fill a space which perhaps should be filled by family.
I certainly do worry about my own old age and what it will be like for me when it comes.
At the moment I am an peace with my company but I do believe that will change.
If you are religious the even the Salvation Army might be a good idea. They are not tready but they do a great deal of good in emergencies.
Best wishes.

Scrapaholic

Age UK used to have a befriending scheme . You could check if they still run it or if it's in your area . Volunteers would be police checked before going into anyones home . I don't have many relatives and lost my parents 20+ years ago . No siblings but I have a wonderful DH, 2 children and four grandchildren . It's a bit sad having few relatives but friends are family too and they're great . Good luck .

leoniestacy

such a lovely thing to do x

red_devil

take a break ran a feature once on finding a granny for mutual benefit.

Treevo

I don't think you need a 'family'. You need friends. I think you want to be needed (hence you wanting an older person to look after) but that's not going to help you. And actually, it might not be a problem if your responsibilities towards your children are put on the back burner when you prioritise someone new.