I need to get this off my chest :(

PureSept

I'm new, I've been putting off coming on here because I know I'm going to end up in tears.

I'm in debt and every month I'm relying on at least £500 from a payday company to pay off my bills, thats on top of my wages, I'm worrying myself sick, I'm not sleeping properly because its all I can think about.

I'm going to sit down tonight and work out every single detail of my outgoings and its making me feel sick just thinking about it.

I've got 3 credit cards to pay off each month on top of alot of other stuff and I've tried to reduce everything down as much as I can, I'm living at home still and I'm not wanting my parents to find out about how much debt I am in because I know they will worry, some of the debt is due to one of my parents being out of work so alot was put on a creditcard which is now maxed out.

I want to write to the companies I owe money to and try to reduce my debt by paying a lower rate but I'll need some kind of template to do this and if possible to do it over email so that my letters dont get replies to my house, I dont even know if this is possible because i'm working full time.

I'm in such a mess and its all getting way too much for me to deal with now I know its my fault and I should of known better but I'm trying to get this sorted so any advice or thoughts please do let me know

mascott514

Take your time, and don't worry….theres tons of great advice from people on here and you are already on the road, by admitting you need to sort it.

Well done and good luck!

stephen260472

Hi, If you write to the creditors yourself you risk not being taken seriously. My advice for what its worth (been there and done it and currently doing it again) is go to Citizens Advice. Its confidential and wont get back to your parents, they will sit with you and work out your budget and write out the template letters and will deal with the admin for you and you will be taken seriously.

One down side is (you may not be bothered about this) all the companies that are approached will treat the approach as "breach of contract" and so will issue default notices against you and place default notices and marks on your credit file which will pretty much eliminate you getting anything again.

I have been in this situation twice (not with payday loans) but with self employment, 1st time it ended with me bankrupt, 2nd time is now and it could well end with me being bankrupt again.

All the best

kash645

Hi,
You have taken a massive step in the right direction towards sorting out your debts just by posting on here so well done!
I also got myself into a total mess with money and, like you, ended up living off payday loans, which paid off other loans and credit cards each month.
I don't know how much money you owe. My debts came to around £10,000( credit cards, personal loan and payday loans)
I sought advice from National Debtline who then put me in touch with Payplan. It was the best phone call I ever made.
Firstly, its all very confidential, so you needn't worry if you don't want your financial affairs sharing at home. Payplan went through everything that I owed, my monthly outgoings and then all of my money coming in. They worked out how much money I could afford to pay my creditors each month. Payplan contacted all of my creditors on my behalf and made them offers of a monthly payment.There is no charge for this. Don't go to one of the many debt management companies advertising as they will rip you off.
Please have a look at payplan's website or give them a call on 08002802816.
It took me 5 years to clear my debts. You end up with an IVA, which means that you cannot borrow any more money or get further credit( not a bad thing).
There are also templates on this site if you want to write to creditors yourself.
Don't worry alone. You can sort this out. Good luck. Sending you lots of positive, worry free thoughts x

station296

Just wanted to say well done for getting the courage together, that is the worst part! I did deal with my creditors direct and didn't go to a company to manage it - almost but realised the high fees! Plus I was scared of being in a formal IVA and the effect on my work at the time.

I set mine up by phone and email, I stated I shared a post box and had had issues with post security so whilst they could send confirmation stuff this wouldn't be ideal for every part of the conversation. I ended up finding it easier to do on the phone with some, post with others and then just managed with emails too. I would definitely say to ensure you don't allow them to bully you into paying more than you can afford - they will constantly ask for a few more pounds, but then you realise it's a real struggle with food etc. work this all out before you speak to them if you choose to do that. Took 6 years (~£40k!) for me to pay off, but its all clear now and it's still surreal!

FYI - Two of the companies defaulted me, another put me on Arrangement to Pay which has been the most annoying! That will stick a total of 12years!

Good luck with setting up the payments, now you've started on this path you'll start to see things clearer x

vasseur

Lots of great advice from the above posters - at least you know you're not alone and as Martin says he has never come across a debt problem that couldn't be solved.

I know writing it all down will be hard but at least then you'll have the figures in black and white and can start to formulate a plan. Far better to know the exact extent of the problem rather than just knowing it's bad but just have a foggy figure in your head.

I'm willing to bet you will start to feel better after doing this.

stupot_99

Hey Puresept,

Well done on posting and getting it off you chest. It will get easier, there are steps you can take right away such as posting an SOA so we can help with suggestions for saving money, ill go and find the link for you. Then you can have a clearer idea as to how much money you couldsave each month.

stupot_99

this link has useful info and an SOA guide which will help. Once you see it written down you will see a clear pic of how to proceed.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/562271

PureSept

Thank you all so much for the kind advice and not judging me, you got no idea how much that means to me. Makes me feel a bit better knowing other people have delt with it and managed to get over their debts.

I would prefer to try and do things by myself, I'm scared of going to see any professionals or citizens advice because I know how stupid I've been by racking up this debt and I know I'll be a wreck and end up crying my eyes out if I get questioned why I done it, as stupid and pathetic as that sounds.

I'm still in the process of logging on my accounts and adding up my debts, I want to make sure I get everything before I try and move on, I will follow that link and post the results, you people are truely amazing you've lifted my spirits tonight and made me feel a bit more positive about everything.

If I do need to seek professional advice, what kind of documents do I need? I dont want my work to find out about me getting help either, Will I need bank statements/creditcard statements? I've opted for everything online so it might take a while to get all of those together.

mum2one

Please, please don't think your stupid, your not, your a strong person who has tried to hep family out, and other reasons youve got debt, it happens to a damm site lot of us.

I would def recommend doing the SOA, as it can be an eye opener and as the old saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved, and also a 2nd pair of eyes may be some help.

I ended up burying my head in the sand, then it got to the stage where I was just pouring money down the drain (on debts) and trying to live in fresh air, other cards.

I did a yr as a self managed dept plan, but for that didn't work as during the process one creditor would want more money, then up the interest, and not take what I could afford, it took me a lot of courage and tears, moods, panics, sweats, but I went via( CCCS ) which are now called stepchange, and my life changed.

I live at home with my parents, and I have a 10yr old daughter, like you I don't want my family to know my debts, - these boards know more about me than my own family do.

i'm now 5 months into a dmp plan, I've got a long long way to go as I owe over 20k, (yep stupid, a lot of that is interest, if I added my actual debt be about 15k - the rest has been interest), its not an easy ride, but the creditors have been more happy dealing with stepchange in this short period than they ever where with me.

stepchange is a charity - no fees - what you pay them every penny, every pound goes to your creditors in 5 months I've paid over 1k back, small step in the right direction.

Please consider them, - theres no obligation you can do an online debt remedy, - no-one in my household knows I'm on a dmp. xx

PureSept

Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Income from Employment (after tax). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1,097.00
Income from Self Employment (before tax). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
State Pension . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Private Pension / Annuity Payout. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Benefits (Inc. Child Benefit/Tax Credits & Income Support). . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Income From Savings & Investments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Gifts From Family / Friends . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Monthly Expense Details

In Your Home

Mobile phones . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65.00
TV licence. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Internet. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Home phone. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Cleaning products/Cleaner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Garden maintenance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Household maintenance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Oil . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Electricity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Gas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Water . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Council tax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Overdraft cost. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 338.00
Bank account fee. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6.00
Home insurance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Mortgage/Rent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 250.00
Plumbing/Boiler cover . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Mortgage life insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Mortgage payment protection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Life insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Food and household shopping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50.00
Drinks for home . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Motoring & Public Transport

Petrol/Diesel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Parking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Car tax . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Car insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Car maintenance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Rail/Buses/Taxis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70.00
Breakdown cover . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Debt Repayments

Credit card repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 386.00
Hire purchase repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Personal loan repayments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50.00
Car loan repayments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Payday loan . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 690.00

Savings & Investments

Pension payments. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Buying shares . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Investments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Cash ISAs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Lump sum saving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Regular saving. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Family

Pet food. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
School trips. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
School meals. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Pocket money. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Nappies/Baby extras . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Laundry/Dry cleaning. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Children's travel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Baby-sitting. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Childcare/Playgroups. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Pet insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Travel insurance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Entertainment

Satellite/Digital TV. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Family days out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Cinema/Theatre trips. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Books/Music/Films/Computers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Big days out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Shopping for fun. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Pet costs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Hobbies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
IT/Computing (antivirus, etc) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
DVD rental. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Drinking out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Eating out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Clothes, Health & Beauty

Complimentary therapies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Optical bills . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10.00
Haircuts. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Dentistry . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Beauty treatments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Healthcare cash plans . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Dental insurance. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Private medical insurance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Fitness/Sports/Gym. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Work clothes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
New children's clothes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
New clothes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Education & Courses

University tuition fees . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
School fees . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Your courses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Big One-Offs

Funeral expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Wedding expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Sofa/Kitchen/TV . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Birthdays . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15.00
Winter holiday. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Summer holiday. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Christmas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00

Odds & Sods

Newspapers and magazines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Tax & NI Provisions (self-employed only). . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Regular charity donations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Meals at work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Smokes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00
Coffees/Sandwiches/Snacks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 0.00


Total monthly income. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1,097.00


Total monthly expenses. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1,930.00

I think I've done this right, I feel so sick just looking at it, each month I'm like nearly 1k down before I even start it all just scares me so much