Another one to add to the January 2013 'no idea' please help list. :(

dandandan81

Hi all,
What a way to start 2013 by realising I dont think I can make it to the end of the month and pay all my bills...yay.

Basically I have consistently made a mess of things for as long as I can remember and now to add to my £35k of unsecured loans I am also gambling and cannot stop. Brilliant.

I have a really well paid job at £43k per year, current situation is a homeowner with my mum and the house is up for sale, I should be looking at something like a £20k gain from its sale.

Unfortunately I dont think the credit card companies/ loans etc will be willing to wait until my house is sold and frankly I am tired of having debt on my shoulders. I really want to do something about it. My question is where do I start? My immediate concern is my cc bills at the end of the month

do I:

a) phone them tomorrow and ask for some assistance in the form of a reduced monthly payment? I can pay something (like a third?)
b) not phone them and write to them? But what if I hear nothing back?
c) 'threaten' for want of a better word a token repayment?

Then I have completed a Personal Action plan from Step change and as I thought, my current outgoings are slightly higher than my income. Should I pursue a route of DMP?

I did phone Payplan a few months ago with this in mind but just found them....not helpful?? not really sympathetic in any way?

I understand I am at fault entirely for this mess, the reason the house is being sold is because I cant pay anymore to keep it due to my decision making and now I need to focus on not gambling, seek some help for that as well.:( still could be worse....

Honestly though, I know Iv written this in a light way, I am genuinely depressed, dont want to speak to people, see mates, struggling to get up. Id like to take control, just a bit of support, guidance and advice on here as to the best way forward would mean an awful lot to me right now

Thanks for reading,

Dan

Cinders:

Hiya, sorry I'm new but didn't want to read and run. I personally would contact the companies and tell them your circumstances to see if they can reduce payments and freeze interest etc. Hopefully one of the lovely people on here with more wisdom can post a better reply. Good luck xxx

dandandan81

Appreciate the reply I think I will contact Stepchange first thing, talk it through and then contact companies then setup the DMP? Also need to consider a new bank as I have so many debts with Barclays and my bank accout with them...and mortgage with Woolwich!!!

SpagBol

Hi I didn't want to read and run either...

Well done for posting on here, please keep posting it's the best way to keep focused.

I would phone up stepchange and also contact someone about the gambling today, it will be a huge step but talking to people that have the same experiences and can help you work through this will be the best thing.

Good luck and let us know how you get on

dandandan81

Ok so today has been a new day, contacted CC and made arrangements with them which has taken the pressure off. Sat down and properly budgeted, I should have something like £300 p/month spare between what I pay out and what I earn. The reason I havent recently is clearly the gambling. Therefore I closed all accounts today and set them so I wont be able to open them for a minimum of 2 years or more. Bet365 were my nightmare through my mobile, that has now gone and I feel relieved.
Spoke with my mum, maybe had a little cry over the fact I have caused this whole mess and basically made stupid choices. She was cool and gave me a cuddle, just now focus on keeping costs low throughout Jan, budgeting properly with no gambling in February to sort out o/d.
Then did a SOA and a snowball calculation which suggested I could be debt free in 48 months. This appealed to me so much rather than a DMP as it felt I could be in control without losing my bank account feelign of self worth etc. So thats the target now. Plus if the house sells I will pay off what I owe even quicker. Thats my motivation to get rid of this burden I have carried since I was 18.
Going to focus on gym and work with the aim being by summer to be in a better position physically, mentally and financially.

Im sure people will say do the DMP, cut everything etc etc But all I can say is I am getting there and trying to maintain my control over things and get my life back on track....

happycamel_2

Well one. Please remember to post on here if you're struggling, maybe start a diary to keep you on track.

Mummy_Moo

Well done for cancelling the gambling accounts that is THE BEST thing you could have done. Stay strong and stay away from even the smallest, cheapest gambling opportunities.

You've got a good income so you should be able to make considerable repayments if you put your mind to it and strictly limit your spending. If you're earning £43k per year that is £86k for two years, minus £35k debt is £51k. So essentially you'll have £25,000 per year to live on, with debt cleared in a couple of years. There are loads of people that live on considerably less than that so it is do-able. (I know the figures aren't exact because of tax / interest etc but you see what I mean).

Good luck, keep updating with your progress, it's a great motivator. I've got another thread I'm using to motivate me and I've now got my debts down to £36.

eyeopener2

Hiya

You've confronted the gambling head on and, like any addiction, it needs continual work ( I know, mine is/was alcohol).

Have you thought of speaking to any of the gambling helplines? OR are there websites/forums for ex gamblers, these can be a tremendous help when temptation strikes.

Good luck, and keep strong.

E2

FireWyrm

Mummy_Moo wrote: »

Well done for cancelling the gambling accounts that is THE BEST thing you could have done. Stay strong and stay away from even the smallest, cheapest gambling opportunities.

.

I've never been tempted to gamble, mainly because its almost painful for me to do so. I've always had an image of tearing up £5 notes and throwing them down the drain and that has been enough of a disincentive. I was once persuaded to go to a dog track and to gamble £10 and it hurt so much I've never done it since. The thought of what I *could* have done with it (other than the inevitable loss to the bookies) was enough to make me feel physically sick. I looked around me and people appeared to be enjoying themselves, but I couldnt see why. Does that image help you?

everytime you want to gamble...imagine standing in the street, tearing up real money....then see if you really want to place that bet.

StressedSteph

Hi

Well done for making the first steph towards sorting out your life.

Maybe if you post an SOA on here then we could help you reduce your monthly outgoings.?

The most important thing though is to put a lid on the gambling. Until you get to the root of that you will never have the willpower to get out of debt.

Try these:-

http://www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk/

Best of luck, keep posting here, you CAN dig your way out if you fight hard enough xx