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It's NOT just a piece of paper!

I lost my partner and the love of my life just over two weeks ago. We were together over 25 years but at the time, due to circumstances were not living together, although he was in the process of moving to a new home so we could be together again, and his assumption that 'all possessions would pass to me anyway' without the need for a 'stupid'will.

When I registered the death, and that we never married, nor living under the same roof at the time (under Scots law), I have no claim on anything not even all the items we bought together over the years, no access to the bank account but more especially, the Registrar could not name me as Next of Kin, nor any relative of any kind which meant I had to be named as the person notifying as a 'Friend'

I cannot begin to tell you how much this hurts, I feel that my heart has been torn out and all the time we had together is not recognised, these last few days seem to be getting darker and darker. The bank does not recognise me as Kin, nor any other organisation however, the funeral will still need to be paid etc.

So , PLEASE, if anyone out there loves their other half enough I beg you, do not put your loved one through this, write a damn will or heaven forbid get that piece of paper(if it is only a piece of paper, what is the problem?) and do everything in your power to ensure they never go through such pain.

Do it now, make it a resolution
«13

Comments

  • Ah hun

    I didn't want to feel that you were shouting into the wilderness

    I totally understand where you are coming from and can't believe the blind belief that some people I know have when it comes to death and being unmarried but living with someone long term.

    I seem to remember a few years ago when a soap character died, it highlighted the pitfalls of term assurance....perhaps a soap could highlight the danagers of not making a will / assuming that there is such a thing as a common law wife / husband
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  • madbadrob
    madbadrob Posts: 1,284 Forumite
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    I seem to remember a few years ago when a soap character died, it highlighted the pitfalls of term assurance....perhaps a soap could highlight the danagers of not making a will / assuming that there is such a thing as a common law wife / husband

    There is no such thing in law as common law husband/wife and never has been. This is a misconception. Unfortunately this happens to many people especially where the death is at a young age.

    Rob
  • suki1964
    suki1964 Posts: 14,313 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    I'm so sorry for your loss

    And thank you for posting as there are so many people out there still so ignorant of the law

    ESP those who have a partner who has been previously married


    Me and hubby married purely for peace of mind. Not to say we don't love each other, we do, just marriage was the most secure future for us
  • Wyre
    Wyre Posts: 463 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture
    I am so very sorry for your loss and for what you are going through.

    Wills are so important, and as soon as we can Hubby and I will making one. We are married but there are still things that are easier if there is 'a piece of paper' that says what should be done.
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  • getmore4less
    getmore4less Posts: 46,882 Forumite
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    AIUI jointly owed assets still pass by survivorship.

    Many will not be familiar with the law in scotland
    the 2006 act is of some relevence
    http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Resource/Doc/113318/0027450.pdf
    http://www.crfr.ac.uk/reports/Briefing%2051.pdf

    this seems relevent, current occupancy does not seem to be a requirement for the provissions.
    Section 25

    [FONT=Arial,Arial][FONT=Arial,Arial]defines a cohabitant as either member of a couple who live or lived together as if they were husband and wife (if of the opposite sex) or as if they were civil partners (if of the same sex). In determining whether two people are cohabitants, the court must consider the nature and duration of their relationship and any financial arrangements between them during that period. No minimum period of cohabitation is stipulated in order to use the Act[/FONT][/FONT]
  • bossymoo
    bossymoo Posts: 6,924 Forumite
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    I'm really sorry for your loss. I do second your call about wills and marriage. I lost my husband at a young age, and have two pre-schoolers. Life / grief is hard enough without the added complications of intestacy and kinship issues. My heart really goes out to you.
    X
    (ps the way foundation is a lifeline)
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  • madbadrob
    madbadrob Posts: 1,284 Forumite
    Eighth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    AIUI jointly owed assets still pass by survivorship.

    Many will not be familiar with the law in scotland
    the 2006 act is of some relevence
    http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Resource/Doc/113318/0027450.pdf
    http://www.crfr.ac.uk/reports/Briefing%2051.pdf

    this seems relevent, current occupancy does not seem to be a requirement for the provissions.
    Section 25

    [FONT=Arial,Arial][FONT=Arial,Arial]defines a cohabitant as either member of a couple who live or lived together as if they were husband and wife (if of the opposite sex) or as if they were civil partners (if of the same sex). In determining whether two people are cohabitants, the court must consider the nature and duration of their relationship and any financial arrangements between them during that period. No minimum period of cohabitation is stipulated in order to use the Act[/FONT][/FONT]

    Thank you for this GetMore4Less. The links are a great help and easy to follow. This shows the OP may be entitled to some of the property they accumulated with the deceased over the years but would need a court to obtain them. The question is would the costs of a solicitor outweigh the value (yes I appreciate sentimental value cannnot have a price put on it) and in this instant it may be better to be financially poor as legal aid could be granted.

    Rob
  • Please accept my thanks for all your replies, they are much appreciated.
    Getmore4less - thank you for the links, I will read them in depth today.
  • pollypenny
    pollypenny Posts: 29,406 Forumite
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    So sorry for you, OP.


    Your loss is sad enough without this hassle and a demeaning ignoring of your role in your loved one's life.

    As you say, marriage is far more than 'just a piece of paper'.
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  • *Louise*
    *Louise* Posts: 9,197 Forumite
    I am so, so sorry for your loss :( All the legal side is just making a difficult time much worse, I hope you have friends/family close by who are supporting you.

    Can I ask what his family are saying about it all? I know that if this happened to anyone in our family, we would pass over the rights to the surviving partner and not make things more difficult by trying to lay a claim on anything. Will they do that for you?
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