My 6 year old Godaughters pet dog has passed away,can we do anything for her please?

my-user-name

As the title says.....

Two weeks ago my 6 year old Godaughter lost her beloved dog who sadly had to be put to sleep after having a major fit.This was quite suddenly and it was while our little girl was away from home so she had no chance to say a final farewell to him.

Our beloved pet was 12 years old so as you can see he was in my Godaughters life from day one.

Her mum sat her down and told her that he had become poorely and had to go to heaven,she does know its a beautiful place and this is where animals have fun and get better.Its so understandable for her to be very upset but the poor wee mite is breaking down at school and even when she goes shopping with her mum,at night her mum can hear her crying in bed which is heartbreaking.

She drew some pictures of her dog when she was in school the other day and brought them home,she then put them under her pillow so she could "dream about her Harvey".It breaks my heart seeing her so upset but were at a loss on how best to deal with this.

We keep thinking she will stop being upset but so far she hasnt,is there anything we could say or do to help her come to terms with losing her little mate please.


Are we asking too much for expecting her to come to terms so soon??thanks for taking the time to read this.

Racheldevon

Hi
There are some really good books by a lady called Dr margot Sunderland, http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_1_6?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=margot+sunderland&sprefix=margot%2Caps%2C196&x=0&y=0
This amazon link shows you some of them, there's a range of story books ideal for primary school children, several of which deal with the kind of issues you raise around loss etc, have a look through and see which descriptions might support your goddaughter

cottonhead

With time it will get better but I can see if Harvey was a constant presence in her life why she would be upset. Its probably the first time she has experienced someone so close dying as well. I guess talking about the dog and drawing pictures is part of the healing process. Was the dog left at the vets or buried somewhere? I was thinking a little ceremony to say goodbye but if it was a few weeks back might be best just to carry on as they are. I dont think there is much else that can be done. Just keep reassuring her that the dog will be happy now in heaven and remember all the good times they had. There are probably books in the library about pets passing away which might help her to come to terms with it.

my-user-name

Thank you so much Racheldevon,I,ll take a look at these books and hopefully they may be able to help her.

Do you think we are asking too much to expect her to become her normal happy self so soon??

We are all devasted over our loss because he was a beauty and such a softy,we did know she would be very upset but we just dont know if we are expecting too much so soon.

my-user-name

cottonhead wrote: »

With time it will get better but I can see if Harvey was a constant presence in her life why she would be upset. Its probably the first time she has experienced someone so close dying as well. I guess talking about the dog and drawing pictures is part of the healing process. Was the dog left at the vets or buried somewhere? I was thinking a little ceremony to say goodbye but if it was a few weeks back might be best just to carry on as they are. I dont think there is much else that can be done. Just keep reassuring her that the dog will be happy now in heaven and remember all the good times they had. There are probably books in the library about pets passing away which might help her to come to terms with it.

Yes Harvey was a constant presence in her life for sure.
Her mum has had Harvey cremated and is expecting his ashes any day.Maybe a little ceremony could help her in some little way.
When family members talk about Harvey its then she becomes really upset,were trying our best to do nice things for her to try and take her mind off her little mate but so far its just not working.:(

meritaten

you can try this - give your gd a small card which she can write her message on and attach it to a helium balloon. Tell her that the balloon will take her message to the dog in heaven and let her take the balloon to wherever she feels close to the dog and let it go, carrying her message. let her watch the balloon go into the sky and when it disappears tell her that the dog has got the message.
has she got a nice photo of the dog? if not let her have one and she can keep it in her room - Harvey will watch over her from heaven!

skateykatey

my-user-name wrote: »

Thank you so much Racheldevon,I,ll take a look at these books and hopefully they may be able to help her.

Do you think we are asking too much to expect her to become her normal happy self so soon??

We are all devasted over our loss because he was a beauty and such a softy,we did know she would be very upset but we just dont know if we are expecting too much so soon.

My bolding. Having always had pets I totally understand how GD is feeling. Regardless of what anyone says, they are a big part of the family and to her, it was probably her best friend in the whole world. I don't necessarily think you are expecting too much as some 6 year olds seem brutally matter of fact about death and others go through a long period of mourning. It all depends on the particular child. The one thing that springs to mind is that she may well be worrying that other loved ones are going to die too; afterall, she has just realised that life is not forever and it really can be the case that you are here one day and gone the next. It would be quite normal, and understandable, for her to start asking when you are going to die and to have a bit of a mild obsession with death! Just thought it would be worth warning you about that!

I don't know if you feel it's too soon but getting another dog that she would have a hand in choosing can be hugely beneficial. It's what we always did and it did help knowing that we were helping another dog, all ours were from the Rescue centre.

my-user-name

meritaten wrote: »

you can try this - give your gd a small card which she can write her message on and attach it to a helium balloon. Tell her that the balloon will take her message to the dog in heaven and let her take the balloon to wherever she feels close to the dog and let it go, carrying her message. let her watch the balloon go into the sky and when it disappears tell her that the dog has got the message.
has she got a nice photo of the dog? if not let her have one and she can keep it in her room - Harvey will watch over her from heaven!

Oh Lordy Lord,now Im in floods of tears meritaten

In fact I actually did this on the day of my mums funeral,I wrote her a loving letter,tied it to a hellium balloon and when we came out of the church I let it fly away,it seemed forever before it dissapeared.
As for photos,yes she has lots of them around the house.
Im certain Harvey will be watching from heaven,he never left her side in her full 6 years and I dont think he will leave her now.

Ive just looked at the books Racheldevon suggested and that brought more tears for me,hes gonna be so missed by us all.

my-user-name

skateykatey wrote: »

My bolding. Having always had pets I totally understand how GD is feeling. Regardless of what anyone says, they are a big part of the family and to her, it was probably her best friend in the whole world. I don't necessarily think you are expecting too much as some 6 year olds seem brutally matter of fact about death and others go through a long period of mourning. It all depends on the particular child. The one thing that springs to mind is that she may well be worrying that other loved ones are going to die too; afterall, she has just realised that life is not forever and it really can be the case that you are here one day and gone the next. It would be quite normal, and understandable, for her to start asking when you are going to die and to have a bit of a mild obsession with death! Just thought it would be worth warning you about that!

I don't know if you feel it's too soon but getting another dog that she would have a hand in choosing can be hugely beneficial. It's what we always did and it did help knowing that we were helping another dog, all ours were from the Rescue centre.

A new pet has been mentioned on the quiet without her knowing about it,we think its too soon possibly but without doubt if her mum does decide to get another then she will only get it from a Rescue Centre.

It is her first experience of death so we will definatly keep an eye out for the signs regarding her worrying we might be next.Its horrible seeing children so upset and knowing you cannot do a thing about it,children shouldnt have to go through this but I guess its part of growing up.Thank you for your advice skateykatey and everybody else too.:)

skateykatey

Unfortunately for those of us with pets it becomes a way of life. I do hope that she starts to reconcile it with herself soon. It must be heartbreaking for you to watch her so upset.

Let us know how she gets on. x

my-user-name

skateykatey wrote: »

Unfortunately for those of us with pets it becomes a way of life. I do hope that she starts to reconcile it with herself soon. It must be heartbreaking for you to watch her so upset.

Let us know how she gets on. x

Oh yes it is so heartbreaking to see:(

I must admit I still cry whenever I look at a picture of my own faithful friend who passed away over 15 years ago.:( Now I know for sure that he will be the first one to greet me when its my turn to go to heaven.

Faithful pets are so precious.I will keep you all updated with good news God willing.

RIP Harvey:A