Teenage boys and the "facts of life"

spadoosh

floss2 wrote: »

TBH, I made it clear to the father of my sons that as I knew nothing about what went on during male puberty, it was his job to explain all this to them......:D

Which I assume he has done, as they are both mid-20's with girlfriends and no babies

He clearly didnt have the conversation and your sons arent quite sure what to do with themselves (or g/fs for that matter) fortunately it appears they have understanding girlfriends who prefer a good stimulating conversation on social ethics over a quick jump!;)

Mojisola

Tish_P wrote: »

Also, at some point sooner than you'd like to think about, buy a big box of condoms, leave the box open in the bathroom cabinet and don't count them.

I think this is important. Boys are more likely to use condoms when they are necessary if they've had the opportunity to experiment with them without a partner. They need to get proficient at opening the packet without tearing the condom and putting one on easily.

floss2

spadoosh wrote: »

He clearly didnt have the conversation and your sons arent quite sure what to do with themselves (or g/fs for that matter) fortunately it appears they have understanding girlfriends who prefer a good stimulating conversation on social ethics over a quick jump!;)

I'm not quite sure that I understand? What makes you think that my ex DIDN'T have that conversation with my sons? The fact that they are both in settled relationships and as yet have not chosen to have children? Or maybe you know my ex husband better than I did at the time.

shellsuit

I think my son was around 8 or 9, when I got the book 'Hair in funny places', which we had a read and good giggle over!

I then bought him 'Living with a willy' which I left him with to read himself (after I'd read it first, it's so funny, yet blunt and honest!)

With regards to the opposite sex/girlfriends etc, I've always told him to treat them with respect, and whatever you do, BE CAREFUL!

I've put condoms in his underwear drawer in the past (he's 16 now btw!) just incase, as I figured I'd rather if he was going to do something, he should be prepared and of course to protect himself.

He's a good sensible lad and i think the best thing with lads is to be open and frank with them. if they get embarrassed about stuff, just put books/leaflets/items, in his room for him to look at in his own time.

The only thing i've not discussed with him, was, errr, pleasuring oneself, but that was covered in the 'living with a willy' book anyway. (and to be honest, if my parents tried to speak to me about it when i was younger, i don't think i could have faced them ever again - somethings are just not to be spoken about with parents!)

spadoosh

floss2 wrote: »

I'm not quite sure that I understand? What makes you think that my ex DIDN'T have that conversation with my sons? The fact that they are both in settled relationships and as yet have not chosen to have children? Or maybe you know my ex husband better than I did at the time.

Woo, it was a bit of banter regarding the countries current trend of having children early and a joke suggesting if you havent had a child at 19, you clearly dont know what your doing.

Yes im omniscient and know all and know your ex didnt have the conversation and yes i do know your ex husband better than you did at the time.

FYI, the second paragraph is all lies, i feel its appropriate for me to state this, as sarcasm and/or a sense of humour appear to have escaped you in your response.


In all seriousness though there seems to be a good view of discussing sex et al with your children, something which my mum tried probably a bit too late.

Just started 2nd term at uni (19/20ish) and parents come down for a visit, they treated me to a mcdonalds. After watching a pidgeon fly into the window breaking its neck and then trying to walk away (wasnt nice to watch and sticks out a bit) my mum shifts a bit uncomfortably in her chair and says 'ive found your red box' queue puzzled face from me and 'what red box?' 'in your top drawer, the...... (at this point she pursed her lips and out of the corner of her mouth muttered) condoms'

Realisation kicks in followed by a burts of laughter and my reply 'ok mum, ill get rid of them and not use them in future':rotfl:

Fotunately school and peers beat her awkward conversation by nearly 10 years. Kinda glad i got told by school and the playground couldnt bear seeing my mum squirm soo much at the thought of the discussion.

VJsmum

Mojisola wrote: »

For what goes on physically, I agree. What's needed now is to understand about relationships and other people's needs and views.

Exactly - he knows about who puts what where , but it was more relationships, feelings, what's "normal" (in context - my BIL had issues with boyhood "masturbation" challenges which he wasn't up to at that time, and it scarred him for life!)

Gingham_R wrote: »

My kids are younger, but we've always had an 'open conversation' policy. I ask them questions sometimes about what they think makes a good friend, what they do that makes them good friends to other people, what it means to be an individual, what they would do if they were bullied etc and with the older one a bit more about feelings and bodies changing etc.

I think just chatting like that makes it easier for the kids to ask questions and to not see it as something embarrassing that they 'have to' listen to.

I suppose it's harder to suddenly introduce this type of chatter, but i find that difficult stuff is easier in the car or on a walk where we're not facing each other.

Again - it isn't that we are "suddenly" introducing anything. We have had conversations, but not about the ahem "finer" points. Did think about having a chat in the car yesterday - but I am going to get the "Willy" book first. We do have "hair in funny places", which I gave him yonks ago - I'll have another look at that later.

This all started with a conversation I had with some mums of slightly younger boys who were asking about the state of sheets and whether to leave boxes of tissues :mad:. I realised that DS is maturing - his voice has got lower, his shoulders broadening and he is spottier so I'm guessing it's all starting / started and, well, I just want to do it as "right" as I can.

Thanks for all your comments - it is really appreciated.

Li0nhead

Let them find out like we all found out....

Gormless fumbling around, not really knowing what your doing with someone in an inappropriate place (location BTW) leading to a number of failed attempts and disappointing mistakes till you learn the basics.

Or a good book may be better.

floss2

spadoosh wrote: »

Woo, it was a bit of banter regarding the countries current trend of having children early and a joke suggesting if you havent had a child at 19, you clearly dont know what your doing.

Yes im omniscient and know all and know your ex didnt have the conversation and yes i do know your ex husband better than you did at the time.

FYI, the second paragraph is all lies, i feel its appropriate for me to state this, as sarcasm and/or a sense of humour appear to have escaped you in your response......

Obviously my kids aren't up to current trends then but as one is a Philosphy & Ethics graduate and the other's partner is studying for a PhD Sociology, your second paragraph is scarily near to the truth!

And TBH, it wouldn't have surprised me if you HAD known my ex....that's why he's my ex

Gingham_R

floss2 wrote: »

Obviously my kids aren't up to current trends then but as one is a Philosphy & Ethics graduate and the other's partner is studying for a PhD Sociology, your second paragraph is scarily near to the truth!

You must be really proud of them. They sound fantastic.

spadoosh

floss2 wrote: »

Obviously my kids aren't up to current trends then but as one is a Philosphy & Ethics graduate and the other's partner is studying for a PhD Sociology, your second paragraph is scarily near to the truth!

And TBH, it wouldn't have surprised me if you HAD known my ex....that's why he's my ex

Im confused.... off for a fag!