Teenage boys and the "facts of life"

Tropez

I would just answer any questions he may have rather than pushing for such a talk.

I never discussed any of that with my parents and I think things worked out quite well for me.

System

My boys found it hard to talk to me about sex. Thank goodness for sex education at school.

My youngest son says he's not ready for sex just yet.

floss2

TBH, I made it clear to the father of my sons that as I knew nothing about what went on during male puberty, it was his job to explain all this to them......:D

Which I assume he has done, as they are both mid-20's with girlfriends and no babies

lika_86

He's 13 and you haven't broached the subject with him yet? By that point any talk would have been far too late for the boys I knew at 13!

Mojisola

lika_86 wrote: »

He's 13 and you haven't broached the subject with him yet? By that point any talk would have been far too late for the boys I knew at 13!

For what goes on physically, I agree. What's needed now is to understand about relationships and other people's needs and views.

Gingham_R

My kids are younger, but we've always had an 'open conversation' policy. I ask them questions sometimes about what they think makes a good friend, what they do that makes them good friends to other people, what it means to be an individual, what they would do if they were bullied etc and with the older one a bit more about feelings and bodies changing etc.

I think just chatting like that makes it easier for the kids to ask questions and to not see it as something embarrassing that they 'have to' listen to.

I suppose it's harder to suddenly introduce this type of chatter, but i find that difficult stuff is easier in the car or on a walk where we're not facing each other.

heretolearn_2

hmmm well I'm glad you thought I got it right, but that wasn't quite my approach. Mine was rather the 'don't get into a serious relationship when you are young, have some fun and date around as long as you do it with good manners!'. I don't have any problem without sex outside a 'relationship' so I couldn't be a hypocrite and try to tell him he should only have sex with someone he loves. There's a middle ground between that and being a complete tart/git though, that's what I tried to talk to him about. The last thing I wanted was for him to go all serious at 17 years old...

Tish_P

There are some great suggestions here! Sexual ethics aren't much different from normal social ethics if you ask me - treat people with kindness and respect, don't look down on people just because they're different from you, you shouldn't push people to do what they're not comfortable with, and not everyone's going to like you anyway so you might as well be yourself. If he's grasped that girls and women are people, this bit shouldn't actually be too difficult.

Also, at some point sooner than you'd like to think about, buy a big box of condoms, leave the box open in the bathroom cabinet and don't count them.

jess1974

I did'nt need to tell my 2 teenage boys anything, i think they heard it as soon as they started high school at 11 on the school bus.....

FatVonD

Amanda65 wrote: »

Best investment I made for DS was 'Living with a Willy' by Nick Fisher. It is funny and written in language teenage boys understand but covers all the points you mentioned. I gave it to my son and told him if he had any questions to ask (he never has !!!)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Willy-Nick-Fisher/dp/0330332481/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1338279288&sr=8-1

.

Thanks, I've just ordered a copy!

With my own DS I have always answered questions as straighforwardly as I can. I think they take their cue from you, I'm you're not embarrassed they shouldn't be. I have even done the condom on a banana thing, he watched from behind a cushion because he knew it *should* be embarrassing but his curiosity outweighed any potential embarrassment!

I agree with Gingham that the car is a good place for those sort of chats.