I'm gonna clear out my head 28 April 2012 at 8:27PM in Debt free diaries 39 replies 2.7K views

BrandNewStart

I'm gonna clear out my head
I'm gonna get myself straight
I know it's never too late
To make a brand new start

Well, I have posted my SOA on here today. As I have said in another thread, I have just split up with my (now ex-) fianc!e and moved back to my parents' place to sort my life out. It has been a fairly traumatic uprooting.
Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet

Monthly Income Details
Monthly income after tax................ 2378
Partners monthly income after tax....... 0
Benefits................................ 0
Other income............................ 500
Total monthly income.................... 2878

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 533
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 203.20000000000005
Rent.................................... 190
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 0
Electricity............................. 0
Gas..................................... 0
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 0
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 42
TV Licence.............................. 0
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 30
Internet Services....................... 0
Groceries etc. ......................... 0
Clothing................................ 0
Petrol/diesel........................... 130
Road tax................................ 0
Car Insurance........................... 143.25
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 0
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 100
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 0
Buildings insurance..................... 18.55
Contents insurance...................... 0
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 18.99
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 0
Entertainment........................... 0
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0
Ring payment............................ 18.55
Payment to Ex .......................... 1000
Total monthly expenses.................. 2427.54


Assets
Cash.................................... 0
House value (Gross)..................... 80000
Shares and bonds........................ 0
Car(s).................................. 9500
Other assets............................ 0
Total Assets............................ 89500


Secured & HP Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
Mortgage...................... 100000...(533)......5
Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 9500.....(203.2)....12.9
Total secured & HP debts...... 109500....-.........-

Unsecured Debts
Description....................Debt......Monthly.. .APR
Credit Card....................4523......45........0
Overdraft 1....................450.......25........0
Overdraft 2....................917.......0.........12.9
Total unsecured debts..........5890......70........-


Monthly Budget Summary
Total monthly income.................... 2,878
Expenses (including HP & secured debts). 2,427.54
Available for debt repayments........... 450.46
Monthly UNsecured debt repayments....... 70
Amount left after debt repayments....... 380.46


I know that it is good that I have done this, and that I have done the right thing in ending my relationship - which had been stressing me out for a long time as I knew I wanted out - and in moving back home to my folks and looking to clear my debts and start again. It just doesn't always feel good.

I have suffered from depression all my adult life and I am only just realising that running away from problems, not expressing myself, not saying so when I feel bad - all these things mean that I've been trying to look happy when I'm not, and I've been trying to project an image which I can't live up to. And the result is usually some sort of emotional meltdown.

After the relationship I need to find out who I am again. I don't even know what I want to do with myself.I like cycling and rugby but find socialising hard due to anxiety. I know I have to avoid isolating because then I will just go down. It means overcoming a fear every time.

I am doing therapy, and trying to get at the root of it. I may never do, I may be trying to make up for what I didn't have in childhood, I don't know. Just sometimes I feel so low I want to scream.

Work keeps my head up, as does exercise. Having a cold has been doing my head in, I have been overweight for a while and that is eating away at my head too, and I can't do much about it when poorly. I really, really want to get some self-esteem back.

I am going to try and post on here, as honestly as possible, regularly, to see if it helps.

Thanks for reading this.

BNS

Hovel_lady

A shiny new diary

Have you seen this? You might find it helpful.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/cards/mental-health-guide

BrandNewStart

Hovel_lady wrote: »

A shiny new diary

Have you seen this? You might find it helpful.

Hello HL, funnily enough I read through that yesterday. Glad someone's read this anyway!

I really want to get myself sorted out now.

Today has been OK so far, just working as I usually do on a Sunday.

Thinking of finding a gym to go to so I can start feeling better about myself.

BrandNewStart

Have spent £0.00 today. Went to look at gyms and one was overpriced, the other wanted a 12 month contract which doesn't suit. It won't always be raining - I can get out on my bike and there is a spit and sawdust gym on my route to work if i want to do some weights

ScarlettOHara_2

Hi

We have a similar sort of income and debt level now (mine was more but its about £5k at its current level). It is a bit of a hard slog but you will get there in a reasonably short space of time. The unsecured debts at least. Are you planning to get through them this year?

BrandNewStart

Hi Scarlett, thanks. Yes, the plan is to be rid of unsecured debt by the end of 2012 if at all possible! I would love to do that, and then I can work on paying down my mortgage too.... Would be amazing to turn it around finally

BrandNewStart

Would be amazing to turn it around finally, as I have been in debt for as long as I can remember... I basically absolutely HAVE to take this chance. I realise that in some ways I am lucky to have the support from my parents to allow me to do this. If that means swallowing my pride a bit, well then no problem I guess.

T'other thing is that I don;t know anyone around here any more! Isolating is v bad for me so I am going to have to try to reach out and find some people to do things with - not my strength!

beanielou

Is your car insurance really £100 plus?

Hope your debt free journey goes as you wish.

jwil

Good luck!

BrandNewStart

beanielou wrote: »

Is your car insurance really £100 plus?

Hope your debt free journey goes as you wish.

Unfortunately yes... I've had a couple of accidents recently. :eek:Still thinking about maybe getting a smaller car for a bit though.

BrandNewStart

The overpriced gym I visited yesterday called back today and offered me a trial month 20% cheaper - might go for it!

Tell you what though, I noticed that uneasy whizzy feeling when going round those gyms... almost that, "I shouldn't be doing this" worried feeling... let's face it getting out on the bike in nice weather (!) is free and much better fun. I need to listen to those instinctive feelings when they arise I think...